Why honesty is mistaken for snobbery???


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SynchroGirl is offline SynchroGirl Post #1  June 14,2009, 2:36pm
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I accept that I can be kind a particular in what expect about the person that I want to be with , but who is not?..Is expect to be with a well educated guy a high unreachable standar ? be with someone whom loves what he do and have a set life a high standar too?..well..yesss!! its seems it is a high standar..when I don't find myself called snob...hey people..Im not..Im just being honest..gezzzz..well..sorry I take the "you are kind a snob" a little personal
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #2  June 14,2009, 2:52pm
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Welcome to the boards SynchroGirl!

Honesty can come across as attitude when things are expressed without consideration for the other person. I value honesty above most other qualities in people, but it needs to be tempered with thoughtfulness and kindness, or you might appear to be a snob, rude or even cruel.

I see from your profile that you are from another country, so perhaps some of what you are getting could be the result of culture clash.

Your origins also explain your poor writing. I'm not trying to criticize here, but as a highly educated person myself, my standards for a profile are that it is written with correct spelling and grammar (note: standard ends in a "d"). I hope you have taken more care with spell and grammar check for you profile than you have for the OP if you want to attract a well educated man. I have many friends who speak English as a second language and so issues with writing don't bother me in those cases since I respect their efforts to communicate in a foreign language, but in a profile, you still need to put your best foot forward.
Last edited by MelinCali; June 14,2009 at 2:55pm. Reason: To add a welcome! :-D
 
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SynchroGirl is offline SynchroGirl Post #3  June 14,2009, 3:16pm
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wow...definitely...seems that is a cultural crash....how was it?...rude snob and even cruel?...yeah...definitely.
Thanks anyway..I take any advice
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #4  June 14,2009, 3:33pm
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I don't think honesty is the probem here. In fact, I'm pretty sure that honesty is important to most people. It's all in the delivery. You can be honest and proud of who you are, without coming off as snobby or condescending. Showing your natural kindness and consideration to others usually does the trick here You can work on communication skills, so your probem can be "fixed" with a little effort.

Good luck!
 
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willsucceed is offline willsucceed Post #5  June 14,2009, 4:18pm
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Remember, it's not always WHAT you say, but HOW you say it!
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #6  June 14,2009, 4:35pm
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
It's all in the delivery.
willsucceed wrote :
Remember, it's not always WHAT you say, but HOW you say it!
Exactly! I had something to this effect in my first post that got accidentally lost before I submit it. Delivery is so important, yet sometimes it is best not to say something too, even if it is honest.
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #7  June 14,2009, 4:40pm
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If you can't spell standard.... maybe I'm just a snob...
.
.
.
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/gr...s-and-science/
Last edited by DennisWisconsin; June 14,2009 at 4:44pm. Reason: Because I'm an atheist snob...
 
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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #8  June 14,2009, 5:14pm
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willsucceed wrote :
Remember, it's not always WHAT you say, but HOW you say it!

It's hard to tell what she said because the grammar and spelling. That was painful to read. How can you expect an educated man when it seems you do not fall into that catagory?
Not being a snob, just being honest.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  June 14,2009, 6:32pm
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churumbeque wrote :
It's hard to tell what she said because the grammar and spelling. That was painful to read. How can you expect an educated man when it seems you do not fall into that catagory?
Not being a snob, just being honest.
To you and Dennis, English would seem to be her second language give the university that she attended.

I get quite a few matches for whom Spanish is their first language. I do take that into account when reading their profiles and e-mails.
 
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