Sudden lost of interest?


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ariala is offline ariala Post #1  June 13,2009, 6:16pm
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So, I went on this date a week ago. I thought the date went alright. Even before dinner finished, he was already asking for a second date. When he walked me to my car, he went right in for a kiss which took me by surprise but I reciprocated (it was only a PG kiss). The kiss was nice and that's what made me decided to go out with him again. He texted me again later on in the night to say what a great time he had. So, throughout the week, he texted me almost everyday. We made plans to go out again this Saturday.

So... I just got home from this date and it totally threw me off!! We went to this nice restaurant, and right off the bat, I could tell he was already kind of low on energy. Yawning a lot and not really making great conversations. I tried to keep it going, but it wasn't that great. He just said he was really tired. Although the conversation was somewhat lacking, I thought he was still interested because he made physical contacts with me throughout the dinner, like hand on my arm, resting his hand on my lap... We stayed at the restaurant for like 2 hours. We were supposed to grab drinks after, but I said to him if he's feeling really tired, maybe he should go home and get some rest. He said yea, that's probably a good idea... So he grabbed the bill and walked me to my car. I kind of just lean in for a hug and he didn't try anything. During the dinner, he mentioned this song that I should listen to, so as he was leaving, he just said he'll text me to remind me to d/l this song. And he did just that, like 5 minutes after, he texted me... "make sure you download .....". No mention of the date at all.

Is it possible that he really is just tired? But even if he was, he should have still show some interest? Maybe he lost interest in me already? What do you think? I just don't understand how he went from such obvious interest to this total withdrawal when I really didn't have a chance to "mess" things up.
Last edited by ariala; June 13,2009 at 7:05pm.
 
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BobinFla is offline BobinFla Post #2  June 13,2009, 6:44pm
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It sounds like to me that you need to let him go and look in other pastures.

He may have been tired, but it sounds like he had interest elsewhere and not the best in communicating.

Good luck in your search.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #3  June 13,2009, 6:53pm

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Try an afternoon date with a shared activity and then make a judgment about how the two of go together like a matched pair of bookends or trash cans! You don't particularly sound really excited about him, so there are a lot of fish in the pond to choose from.

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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #4  June 13,2009, 8:37pm
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He was still giving you physical contact, right? I'd say it is possible that he really was tired. Try to give it another try. If there are ambiguous results again, it's time to let this one go.
 
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DanielJr82 is offline DanielJr82 Post #5  June 13,2009, 10:00pm
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If he doesn't call back within the week he's not interested. If that's the case, just move on.
 
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cccthatsme is offline cccthatsme Post #6  June 13,2009, 10:34pm
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What was the song he wanted you to listen to? I am thinking he was sending you a message in that song and thats why he wanted you to listen to it.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  June 14,2009, 7:39am
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From what you say it seems that it is not you who would have messed up but him. If he asks you out again and you are interested then you could go a see if he was just tired or if this is his usual behavior.

The indications that I see are that he has his interests not on dating and his date and / or was not interested in you. In either of these cases then it is best that you find someone who is interested in you and being with you.
 
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Nature_Lover is offline Nature_Lover Post #8  June 14,2009, 7:49am
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I have to agree that it does sound as if you are somewhat ambivalent toward him which may not be giving him much to boost his energy levels. Regarding his behavior, if he asks you out again and you are genuinely interested I would give him another chance. If he was still consistently making physical contact and remembered to text you about the song after the date, then maybe he genuinely was tired...but thought that going out with you tired would be preferable to canceling on you.

I know that personally I am a pretty mellow person and when tired I can be just down right quiet...but that doesn't indicate a lack of interest on my part. I just explain to the guy (like he did to you) that I've had a rough day or am tired and figure that it's all part of getting to know me. If a partner can't deal with the fact that I'm not always high energy then I'd rather know up front.
 
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lifeislearning is offline lifeislearning Post #9  June 15,2009, 6:01am
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Action speak louder than words :
I'm my opinion, If he was yawning a lot (actions) he was tired. Its not like he said he was tired, and then he was up beat as well lol.. THEN I would worry, I think you like him a lot and are reading too much into it, he actually texted you as he told you he would have.. again (actions) Id say he is intersted and enjoys your company.
 
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marie78 is offline marie78 Post #10  January 1,2010, 11:27am
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I think that he was really tired !! He s going to call yo back for sure
 
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