long distance relationship, any success stories?


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treeye is offline treeye Post #1  June 13,2009, 1:08pm
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I was planning to only date local ppl but now starts wondering whether I should try long distance too.

my major concern is how you're able to get to know the real person well only via email and phone conversation? how is it possible to maintain the dating relationship? (I feel it always tends to fade away).

any input? any success stories? any benefit LDR brings?
and how long apart you think is LD?
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #2  June 13,2009, 1:26pm
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There is a thread already going on the Relationships board you might want to look at.

Long distance relationship - ever done it?
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...ever-done.html (Long distance relationship - ever done it?)
 
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drifting is offline drifting Post #3  June 13,2009, 1:42pm
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Greetings,

This is a very good question! Initially arranging to meet a new person after the emails, communications and phone calls - You will hopefully each know enough to make it a worthwhile trip to finally meet.

I was at a business presentation at a hotel in Sarasota (which is about 220 miles away from my home) when I met a great woman who was attending a different presentation and we exchanged business cards for networking. We had several business only type calls over the next 6 months and when we ran into each other at another business function (I admit that I went out of my way to be at this one in Miami), since now neither of us was in a relationship and the attraction was obvious, we decided to try despite the distance .

Long story short is that we started seeing each other each weekend for 8 months sharing the distance (meet in the middle, one would drive one week and the other the next, etc). We ended up moving in with each other, really got along fantastically and it turned into a 12 year marriage.


So I will say that it does work, can have really great rewards but is very difficult if your schedules are different, kids are involved, room mates, etc.

BUT (there is always a but in a relationship question)

That being on the table - It was not an EH match, we actually met in person first before the LDR. Having been an EH member for a few months now, I find that trying to start a new LDR is much more difficult than how the other went so I am hesitant to say that a LDR will work.

IMHO - 1. Spend the time getting to know each other before making the effort of a LDR. 2. Think about how it will work in reality. There is no just meeting without a plan, spending a quick afternoon at the beach, a movie or whatever. 3. Last but not least, if it does work out - Is one of you going to be willing (or able) to relocate in the event it becomes a serious relationship where marriage is the end result.

Follow your heart and your brain equally -
Good luck with your decision ...

Drifting
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  June 13,2009, 4:49pm
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There are a number of people on these Advice boards who have had LDR with other Advice board members which have resulted in some success including at least one coming wedding.

It really depends on the people. A LDR is very difficult and requires a great deal of commitment from both. It is not for me because I want to be able to be with my SO frequently.
 
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Phee is offline Phee Post #5  March 23,2010, 2:47pm
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Like anything else one has got to work on a relationship to make it happen. Distance is really not a factor, if U want to make a relationship work. I met my husband in Miami at the hotel pool while on holiday. We both sense an immediate attraction. It was his last day and my first. We spent the day exploring the city and dinner in the evening, the chemistry between was very strong, after dinner we said good night and he offered his business card and myy promise that I would call. He left the next day for his country in the Middle East.

I did not call for 3 months, and did so only on my girlfriend's insistance. We maintained a LDR for 3 years. We had a lot to overcome, I was a divorcee with 2 sons, he was never married and a partner was being chosen for him. He had to fight his family to get the approval to be with me. Not wanting to wait, he suggested we meet in a neighbouring country, where we married - 6 months before his family gave their permission. We and our family lived happily until he passed on. I have now returned to North American after 20 years. Each person is different, but everything is possible if you think positively.
Last edited by Phee; March 23,2010 at 2:57pm.
 
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