Lottiestar is offline Lottiestar Post #1  June 13,2009, 1:06am
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Hi
I'm new here,I have found myself in a bit of an odd situation.
My ex and i broke up about a month and week ago,it has be very rough.But a few days ago something happened and sparks flew.
He took me out yesterday and in the car said it's not a date and i replied with ok and he said he's kidding,we went to the movies then to dinner and hit a few other places.I added it up he spent a total of 200$ on this none date.He's spending me so many mixed messages i'm lost,he tells me he'd be jealous if we ran into an ex then tells me if i changed my mind about him he'd understand that he knows he messed up his chance with me,well he didn't i'm still here.Then he tells me he still loves me and if we're to try this again he wants to go very slow and get to know me as a friend first.And at the same time tells me he just wants to have fun right now....
So as you can see i'm lost,it's one of those ok we still care you're getting jealous over a thought but you want to have fun.I would love just a clear statement of what in the world he's thinking and on top of that he left a hickie on me and seems to think that i'm going to some how manage to find another guy??(why do guys leave hickies?)
If anyone knows or thinks they may know i would love to hear it,i'm not planning on much with him because i haven't a clue as to what he thinks so i have the time to see but any advise is more then helpful.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #2  June 14,2009, 10:39am
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It might be helpful if you could provide some more info. Like your ages.... How long were you together? Married or just BF? Living together? How did you end up going on this (non)date in the first place? What were the circumstances of the break up?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  June 14,2009, 5:11pm
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MelinCali wrote :
It might be helpful if you could provide some more info. Like your ages.... How long were you together? Married or just BF? Living together? How did you end up going on this (non)date in the first place? What were the circumstances of the break up?
You would expect someone asking for advice on the Advice boards to actually provide information to help us provide something meaningful???
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  June 14,2009, 5:13pm
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I am guessing that you are real young, maybe 20ish. I suppose that you have never heard of actually communicating.
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #5  June 14,2009, 5:16pm
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Lottiestar wrote :
Hi
I'm new here,I have found myself in a bit of an odd situation.
My ex and i broke up about a month and week ago,it has be very rough.But a few days ago something happened and sparks flew.
He took me out yesterday and in the car said it's not a date and i replied with ok and he said he's kidding,we went to the movies then to dinner and hit a few other places.I added it up he spent a total of 200$ on this none date.He's spending me so many mixed messages i'm lost,he tells me he'd be jealous if we ran into an ex then tells me if i changed my mind about him he'd understand that he knows he messed up his chance with me,well he didn't i'm still here.Then he tells me he still loves me and if we're to try this again he wants to go very slow and get to know me as a friend first.And at the same time tells me he just wants to have fun right now....
So as you can see i'm lost,it's one of those ok we still care you're getting jealous over a thought but you want to have fun.I would love just a clear statement of what in the world he's thinking and on top of that he left a hickie on me and seems to think that i'm going to some how manage to find another guy??(why do guys leave hickies?)
If anyone knows or thinks they may know i would love to hear it,i'm not planning on much with him because i haven't a clue as to what he thinks so i have the time to see but any advise is more then helpful.
I bet you are both under 26.
 
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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #6  June 14,2009, 5:17pm
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Guys leave a hickey to mark thier territory
 
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TaoShaffer is offline TaoShaffer Post #7  June 14,2009, 7:06pm
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churumbeque wrote :
Guys leave a hickey to mark thier territory
I'd like to add IMMATURE to the front of that. You get a guy who leaves a hickey, he's either young or into some kind of fetish.

Personally I think it's kind of a disgusting and disrespectful thing to do.

--Tao
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #8  June 15,2009, 2:33am
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I'd love to be able to say that he realizes what he's lost and is looking to reconcile ...but those "go very slow", "friends first", "just want to have fun" statements aren't promising in that regard.

While there is lots of information missing, it sounds to me like 2 possibilities exist ...

1) he's wanting to play the field - maybe already has someone in mind - while keeping you as Plan B in case that doesn't work out ...

or

2) He's feeling out your reaction to a "friends with benefits" situation.

Neither are good for you.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #9  June 15,2009, 4:18am
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BikerBeagle wrote :
I'd love to be able to say that he realizes what he's lost and is looking to reconcile ...but those "go very slow", "friends first", "just want to have fun" statements aren't promising in that regard.

While there is lots of information missing, it sounds to me like 2 possibilities exist ...

1) he's wanting to play the field - maybe already has someone in mind - while keeping you as Plan B in case that doesn't work out ...

or

2) He's feeling out your reaction to a "friends with benefits" situation.

Neither are good for you.
Have to agree with above. Lots of "chemistry", not much compatibility. He has and wants others as well as you. And as long as you get together with him for hickeys and flying sparks, he'll have his cake and eat it to. decide what you want from him. Exclusive or "friends" with "sparks"
 
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