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MelinCali MelinCali is offline
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tbesq wrote :
I can't think of any other logical explanation. Some men have stated they close out women who list travel as an interest because it sounds "generic." Personally, I don't understand that. Many people like to travel, it's just a fact...why is that generic? Traveling is one of the interests I find more enjoyable with a partner, so I would also be looking for a woman who enjoyed travel. But I wouldn't close a match if she didn't have that interest in her profile...maybe she's been to these discussion boards and is now afraid to mention it.
No kidding!

I actually made it clear in my EH profile (before it ran out) that I travel for work after all the comments I saw here. I have been to a lot of places and have generally not had to foot the bill, or at most I have paid to extend a work trip to see the sights (so the is flight paid for).

This is something I will continue to do and I am certainly not looking for a man to subsidize my travels.

It does continue to surprise me how stating an interest in travel is deemed a negative on a woman's profile. Good thing the picture of me standing in front of Sydney Opera House was too old to include in the profile.

We can downplay the travel...but often, that's when the camera is most likely to be out, so there's no hiding where you've been recently if it is a recognizable tourist site.
- June 13th, 2009, 03:35 pm
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Bandmate Bandmate is offline
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Mayne wrote :
When I see women discuss how much they "love to travel" in their profile, the immediate thought that comes to mind is they're looking for a sugar daddy to bankroll their sightseeing tours across the globe... especially when the profile photos consist of her in bikinis at various exotic locations with the ex photo-shopped out of the picture...

any other guys feel that way?

I have suggested the same thing and while i'm sure it does not apply to everyone,it can be a way of scoping out the financial resources...yes they say they will pay their own way,blah blah blah..it still isn't cheap to travel...the ability to travel at will is usualy based on someone's disposable income and listing travel is a good way of finding out all about that...sit back and enjoy all of the reasons why you are oh so wrong....yet a single one of them will not be able to come up with two neccessary facts..... #1 that travel is cheap..and # 2 that it doesn't take time...so if you have money and time you're good to go....other than that you are suggesting that woman can actulay have less than pure motives which we both know is almost blasphemous
Last edited by Bandmate; June 13th, 2009 at 05:05 pm.
- June 13th, 2009, 04:52 pm
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sabete2002 sabete2002 is offline
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trailviews wrote :
The problem I have with "love to travel" in women's profiles is that it's a ridiculously vague term.

If your idea of travel is clothes shopping in the great cities of Europe, we aren't going to be compatible. If your idea of travel is that you never want to spend a weekend at home, we aren't going to be compatible. If your idea of travel are cruises and fancy guided tours, we probably aren't going to be compatible. I love to go see history and the wonders of nature, get off the beaten path and see what the tourists don't see, eat where the tourists don't eat. I travel to do things, not just for the sake of travel, and if we don't like to do the same things, "travel" is not going to be any fun.

It's just like the women who "love the beach/ocean". Once again, incredibly vague. If you just want to go sit on a beach and read a book. Boring! If there are things you like to do at the beach, list them.

When I see one liners with "travel" or "beach" in a woman's profile, I just skip them over like the other vague profiles on dating sites. Women with stuff like this either don't know what they like/enjoy in life or were too lazy to think about what to say in their profile.

I usually assume the profiles with photos in bikinis at various exotic locations are scammers anyhow.
In fairness, there isn't a whole lot of space to go into much detail about anything on a profile whether on eh or anywhere else. Why not get to OC and ask them to elaborate on how they define travel? As with so many things, we can interpret what a match lists in their profile in so many different ways. By asking the question directly you can find out what they mean for sure.
- June 13th, 2009, 06:00 pm
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sabete2002 sabete2002 is offline
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I've travelled a fair bit and lived in different countries. It's mentioned in my profile. The experiences I have had, have helped shaped the person I am now and has further piqued my desire to learn more about other cultures. One match said he couldn't decide if I was a head in the clouds idealistic traveller or if I was bragging! Neither. I don't expect a match to have had the same experiences as I have but a willingness to learn about the rest of the world is important to me. It's not just about international travel either. Road trips to destinations within the US are just as interesting to me. In short, I don't want someone who is content to just stay in his own little world. And I don't want or need someone to pay for me. Just someone to share the adventure.
- June 13th, 2009, 06:10 pm
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neardc neardc is offline
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Bandmate wrote :
...yet a single one of them will not be able to come up with two neccessary facts..... #1 that travel is cheap..and # 2 that it doesn't take time...so if you have money and time you're good to go....other than that you are suggesting that woman can actulay have less than pure motives which we both know is almost blasphemous
Of course, people have said over and over again on these boards that there are many ways to make travel affordable for nearly everyone, but it's also a matter of balancing financial priorities, including whatever you spend on hobbies, recreation, "vices," etc.

So, what is your price point before you consider a vacation or weekend trip to be unaffordable for you? $50? $100? $500? $1,000? What defines "cheap" and what defines "too much" for you?

Of course it takes time to go somewhere. It takes time to stay home, too. Most people who work have weekends off and earn some annual leave. Not all people do (e.g., if you are self-employed you don't earn leave, and if you are in an hourly job you may not) so they have to build that time off into their budget. That is within reach for most people who want to make travel a priority.

(Oh; and Sabete - great post!)
- June 13th, 2009, 06:40 pm
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Bandmate wrote :
I have suggested the same thing and while i'm sure it does not apply to everyone,it can be a way of scoping out the financial resources...yes they say they will pay their own way,blah blah blah..it still isn't cheap to travel...the ability to travel at will is usualy based on someone's disposable income and listing travel is a good way of finding out all about that...sit back and enjoy all of the reasons why you are oh so wrong....yet a single one of them will not be able to come up with two neccessary facts..... #1 that travel is cheap..and # 2 that it doesn't take time...so if you have money and time you're good to go....other than that you are suggesting that woman can actulay have less than pure motives which we both know is almost blasphemous
Bandmate,
1. Travel is not always cheap, nor is it always expensive. It's a very relative term. Buying a house is not cheap, but most of us have a need for housing (primary need). Theater tickets are not cheap, but most of us have intellectual and cultural needs (secondary, but no less important when looking at a human being, rather than an animal), both men and women. Most of us work very hard to earn money, and if we can't spend some of that money on what we really enjoy doing, then what's the point of living? Just to ensure survival of the species?

2. Travel can be time consuming, but we have weekends and holiday leave. Why can we not dedicate some of that time to doing what we enjoy?
- June 13th, 2009, 07:27 pm
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tamoosh63 tamoosh63 is offline
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Ok, this is my first time on these boards, I am only on eharmony for less than a few weeks now and have been surprisingly pleased, especially after cancelling on 2 other sites where I really feel there were so many misreprentations on behalf of too many men. I DO NOT look at salary first, I look at what a person is all about. I left those other two sites because of what men are constantly putting on us women...false advertising, and quite frankly, actly quite unstable. So I'm a little annoyed getting on this site, hoping for some positive chit chat, instead the first post I read is a man suspicious of women who like to travel!! Wealthy men are a dime a dozen, if there's no substance there a trip can be quite painful. I DO NOT take every man up on his offer for dinner just for the free meal. I can pay for my own meal. The company is what's most important.
So, since I love to travel and do so often, and because I work for the airlines and am fortunate enough to travel in the better seats, do I need to be wary of men wanting to travel in style on my job benefits?? Sorry to sound so cynical, you all are catching me after several weeks on 2 other sites dealing with nothing but charming riff raff. I have quit those sites now, and have been working on this site to get to know a few men who seem sincerely decent and honest, so I will still remain my usual optimistic self...thanx for listening.

- June 13th, 2009, 07:34 pm
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sabete2002 sabete2002 is offline
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neardc wrote :
Of course, people have said over and over again on these boards that there are many ways to make travel affordable for nearly everyone, but it's also a matter of balancing financial priorities, including whatever you spend on hobbies, recreation, "vices," etc.

So, what is your price point before you consider a vacation or weekend trip to be unaffordable for you? $50? $100? $500? $1,000? What defines "cheap" and what defines "too much" for you?

Of course it takes time to go somewhere. It takes time to stay home, too. Most people who work have weekends off and earn some annual leave. Not all people do (e.g., if you are self-employed you don't earn leave, and if you are in an hourly job you may not) so they have to build that time off into their budget. That is within reach for most people who want to make travel a priority.

(Oh; and Sabete - great post!)
Thank you!
- June 13th, 2009, 08:50 pm
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Briolette Briolette is offline
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NettaBoo wrote :
This is an interesting thread and it has helped me understand why some men may have closed the communication with me so quickly. In my profile, I clearly state that I love to travel and that in the past few years I have traveled to both South America and Hawaii. What people fail to realize that I saved an entire year for both of those trips and I was not the recipient of a sugardaddy. Next year, I would like to travel to Caribbean and that trip will be funded by me only. I should not have to state this fact in my profile in order to prevent these people from "running away".

I wish people would not be so close minded and make these assumptions about people. I can't help it if I like to travel. You would think that a person would like to meet someone who is interested in the world outside of the USA.

If tomorrow someome will start a new thread "Women who indicate "love to sing karaoke" in their profile" and there will be a lot of negative oponions from men about women who enjoy it, you will remove this interest from your profile too?

And what is your next step? I mean what interest are you ready to exlude to "prevent men from running away?"


Are not you afraid of losing yourself and stop being personality?
- June 13th, 2009, 10:08 pm
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Briolette wrote :
If tomorrow someome will start a new thread "Women who indicate "love to sing karaoke" in their profile" and there will be a lot of negative oponions from men about women who enjoy it, you will remove this interest from your profile too?

And what is your next step? I mean what interest are you ready to exlude to "prevent men from running away?"


Are not you afraid of losing yourself and stop being personality?
I'm going to have to disagree with you here.
Your online dating profile is not your autobiography, nor does it define who you are as a person. Let's bring a litte realism in to this. Your profile is actually and advertisement your create for yourself. When you think of creating an ad, you always have to consider your target audience. No matter how much you tell people of your love for travel or karaoke, if it falls on deaf ears, it's rather useless.

I'm by no means saying that you need to use false advertisement. All lies are eventually discovered and rarely result in anything positive. What I'm saying is that you need to select the most appealing qualities and promote them.

If you are really passionate about travel, then by all means talk about it. But don't just tell me 'I love to travel' - it can mean many things and nothing at the same time. tell me why, tell me where you've been that affected you the most.

I'm by no means saying that I know it all, but I know it works I'm actually not on EH, I'm on Match, where people can freely browse all profiles. Remember I said that I don't directly mention my love for travel? Well, I don't. But if someone does not get it from my profile, then I probably do not want to meet them at all

I actually have a short paragaph in my profile, describing my ideal day. Im my dream I'm revisiting some of my favourite destinations in the world and telling them why those destinations are so special and what I'd like to do there. It's a little tongue-in-cheek, but this is the part that gets the most positive responses, both from my target audience, as well as others. I even had a couple of women contact me to compliment me and offer to introduce me to their brothers, sons, etc Most people say that they want to travel with me and experience what I've described. All that from 3 sentences.

So yes, please talk about travel if it's one of your passions, but explain your reasons for liking it so much.
- June 13th, 2009, 11:13 pm
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