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neardc neardc is offline
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Czidvar wrote :
Excuse me a second, I have to guide the generalization bus in here to pick everyone up!

People who don't travel are closed minded? I would call that closed minded. I like to travel, but don't get to often. I don't know all the ways to travel cheaply and have never been out of the country....
Just to clarify, I think that when people say this, they are referring to those who just don't want to go past their own front door, and don't understand or appreciate what can be gained in doing so. The key word used was "willing" to travel. It's clear that some people simply are not willing. Resources are a different issue (although I firmly believe that some travel is possible for virtually everyone who desires it; there is much that can be done on a shoestring budget).

Travel, too, doesn't just mean going on a trek to Timbuktu. It can also include jumping in the car and driving two states away. So, fear of flying isn't sufficient reason not to travel (and btw, if someone desires to fly, but is afraid to, there are both self-help materials and clinics you can attend to help you overcome or deal with that fear to a sufficient degree that you can get on an airplane).

trailviews wrote :
I love to go see history and the wonders of nature, get off the beaten path and see what the tourists don't see, eat where the tourists don't eat. I travel to do things, not just for the sake of travel....

....When I see one liners with "travel" or "beach" in a woman's profile, I just skip them over like the other vague profiles on dating sites. Women with stuff like this either don't know what they like/enjoy in life or were too lazy to think about what to say in their profile.
And, what makes you assume that a woman who says she loves to travel doesn't prefer to travel just like that as well? You've described exactly how I (and many of the other women on this site) also love to travel. Too bad you've already closed out so many women who share your interest in that kind of travel...
- June 13th, 2009, 11:36 am
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Briolette Briolette is offline
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trailviews wrote :
What's your point? "Travel" is incredibly vague. I've met women online with "travel" in their profile who'd never been out of my state! Sorry, I don't find that "special". I don't have the time to waste communicating with every woman who just puts "loves to travel" in her profile because it would be nearly all of them.

So, yes, I suppose it is like "black and white". If you choose to only put the vaguest of terms in your profile, people will always choose to go for other people's profiles that are more descriptive.

I believed that you looked at photo first!

As for people choice, probably its better to speak for yoursef?

They say some men start their choice with face, not profile.
One man sweared that he was looking for a face that would give him a sparkle!
Probably he was just kidding...
Why I am always such a trustfull?
- June 13th, 2009, 11:45 am
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neardc neardc is offline
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One thing that is very curious to me is how often some men (on this site, anyway) seem to take love of travel as a negative thing in women, while I've never seen women on this site say that it's a negative if they see this in a man's profile (and, believe it or not, men put it in their profiles, too!).

Does it all come down to the "fear of gold diggers" phenomenon that seems to be so prevalent here, or is it more than that? If it was clear that women were paying their own way (or even covering their partner's expenses as well), would that make a difference? Would interest in travel seem appealing then? Or, would it still inspire suspicion or be unappealing for some reason?
- June 13th, 2009, 12:10 pm
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tbesq tbesq is offline
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neardc wrote :
One thing that is very curious to me is how often some men (on this site, anyway) seem to take love of travel as a negative thing in women, while I've never seen women on this site say that it's a negative if they see this in a man's profile (and, believe it or not, men put it in their profiles, too!).

Does it all come down to the "fear of gold diggers" phenomenon that seems to be so prevalent here, or is it more than that? If it was clear that women were paying their own way (or even covering their partner's expenses as well), would that make a difference? Would interest in travel seem appealing then? Or, would it still inspire suspicion or be unappealing for some reason?
The men who see the travel as a negative are worried they'll have to foot the bill. As we've discussed ad nauseum, and as most women here have indicated, that would not be the case. When I have traveled with my significant others we usually pay our own airfare and split the accommodations. I generally paid for the meals and the car rental [if applicable]. If she wants to shop while on vacation, she'll generally pay for whatever she decides to buy. So in all I usually do end up paying more of the common expenses, but I've never been expected to pay for everything.

I think men like to travel as much as women. What I'd be curious to know is how men spend money when traveling. For example, when I travel alone I usually try to stay with friends to save money (and when visiting cities take public transpo), but if I'm traveling with a partner we usually spend more to stay in hotels/motels. Just my experience.
- June 13th, 2009, 12:29 pm
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having a love for travel is a very generic interest, sort of like "love music" or "love movies", probably over 90% of people love to travel, a small statement that you love traveling is ok but bragging about it as if it is some great interest that makes you unique among others seems a bit contrived.

wrote :
I think men like to travel as much as women. What I'd be curious to know is how men spend money when traveling. For example, when I travel alone I usually try to stay with friends to save money (and when visiting cities take public transpo), but if I'm traveling with a partner we usually spend more to stay in hotels/motels. Just my experience.
In my opinion men hardly travel with other men the way women do, not sure why but it's probably because men are highly individual in their affairs while women are more group oriented and social. When I have traveled with someone it has always been with a significant other, else I have no issues traveling by myself which is the other fact - men I think are MUCH more comfortable traveling by themselves and perhaps even prefer it because they like to be in the drivers seat.
Last edited by k374; June 13th, 2009 at 02:00 pm.
- June 13th, 2009, 01:54 pm
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This is an interesting thread and it has helped me understand why some men may have closed the communication with me so quickly. In my profile, I clearly state that I love to travel and that in the past few years I have traveled to both South America and Hawaii. What people fail to realize that I saved an entire year for both of those trips and I was not the recipient of a sugardaddy. Next year, I would like to travel to Caribbean and that trip will be funded by me only. I should not have to state this fact in my profile in order to prevent these people from "running away".

I wish people would not be so close minded and make these assumptions about people. I can't help it if I like to travel. You would think that a person would like to meet someone who is interested in the world outside of the USA.
- June 13th, 2009, 02:04 pm
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tbesq tbesq is offline
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NettaBoo wrote :
This is an interesting thread and it has helped me understand why some men may have closed the communication with me so quickly. In my profile, I clearly state that I love to travel and that in the past few years I have traveled to both South America and Hawaii. What people fail to realize that I saved an entire year for both of those trips and I was not the recipient of a sugardaddy. Next year, I would like to travel to Caribbean and that trip will be funded by me only. I should not have to state this fact in my profile in order to prevent these people from "running away".

I wish people would not be so close minded and make these assumptions about people. I can't help it if I like to travel. You would think that a person would like to meet someone who is interested in the world outside of the USA.
The tricky thing about eHarmony is that you often don't know why people close you (I guess the same could be said of other sites where people just don't respond to an initial e-mail (at least for men)). It's foolish for a man to close out a woman simply because she states a desire to travel. More than likely, these particular men have had a bad experience with a woman who expected him to fund her travels. And it may not end there...maybe she ended the dating/relationship shortly afterward, and he jumped to the conclusion that she just "got what she wanted" and bailed.

You should not have to justify your desire to travel in your profile, and I would see no need for you to do so.
Last edited by tbesq; June 13th, 2009 at 02:36 pm.
- June 13th, 2009, 02:09 pm
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neardc neardc is offline
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tbesq wrote :
The men who see the travel as a negative are worried they'll have to foot the bill. As we've discussed ad nauseum, and as most women here have indicated, that would not be the case. When I have traveled with my significant others we usually pay our own airfare and split the accommodations. I generally paid for the meals and the car rental [if applicable]. If she wants to shop while on vacation, she'll generally pay for whatever she decides to buy. So in all I usually do end up paying more of the common expenses, but I've never been expected to pay for everything.

I think men like to travel as much as women. What I'd be curious to know is how men spend money when traveling. For example, when I travel alone I usually try to stay with friends to save money (and when visiting cities take public transpo), but if I'm traveling with a partner we usually spend more to stay in hotels/motels. Just my experience.
I'm just wondering if fear of having to pay is really the only reason. If so, many are worrying for imaginary rather than real reasons when it comes to most of us... If not, I'm curious to know what other issues there are.

When I travel alone I'm also more likely to stay with friends (unless it's business travel that is covered by work, and where I need to be headquartered at a particular location). When traveling with someone else (whether friends or a beau), it just makes more sense to stay in a hotel/motel both for privacy reasons and because friends can't always accomodate another person. Oftentimes, though, staying with friends isn't an option anyway because I don't know anyone who lives in the area I'm visiting.

I typically rent a car, or walk, or take public transportation...lol; it really depends on where I am and what's available and what makes most sense both economically and logistically. If I rent a car (a necessity for some of the travel I do), I always reserve the car in advance, typically getting substantial discounts (e.g., with coupons and discount codes). I'm often shocked when I pick up my car and hear what rates other people are paying for the car that I got at nearly half the price...
- June 13th, 2009, 02:30 pm
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tbesq tbesq is offline
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neardc wrote :
I'm just wondering if fear of having to pay is really the only reason. If so, many are worrying for imaginary rather than real reasons when it comes to most of us... If not, I'm curious to know what other issues there are.

When I travel alone I'm also more likely to stay with friends (unless it's business travel that is covered by work, and where I need to be headquartered at a particular location). When traveling with someone else (whether friends or a beau), it just makes more sense to stay in a hotel/motel both for privacy reasons and because friends can't always accomodate another person. Oftentimes, though, staying with friends isn't an option anyway because I don't know anyone who lives in the area I'm visiting.

I typically rent a car, or walk, or take public transportation...lol; it really depends on where I am and what's available and what makes most sense both economically and logistically. If I rent a car (a necessity for some of the travel I do), I always reserve the car in advance, typically getting substantial discounts (e.g., with coupons and discount codes). I'm often shocked when I pick up my car and hear what rates other people are paying for the car that I got at nearly half the price...
I can't think of any other logical explanation. Some men have stated they close out women who list travel as an interest because it sounds "generic." Personally, I don't understand that. Many people like to travel, it's just a fact...why is that generic? Traveling is one of the interests I find more enjoyable with a partner, so I would also be looking for a woman who enjoyed travel. But I wouldn't close a match if she didn't have that interest in her profile...maybe she's been to these discussion boards and is now afraid to mention it.
- June 13th, 2009, 02:36 pm
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tbesq wrote :
I can't think of any other logical explanation. Some men have stated they close out women who list travel as an interest because it sounds "generic." Personally, I don't understand that. Many people like to travel, it's just a fact...why is that generic? Traveling is one of the interests I find more enjoyable with a partner, so I would also be looking for a woman who enjoyed travel. But I wouldn't close a match if she didn't have that interest in her profile...maybe she's been to these discussion boards and is now afraid to mention it.
LOL!
- June 13th, 2009, 02:44 pm
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