Why is it acceptable for men to want 'pretty' women, but not for women to want wealthy men


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Monica1 is offline Monica1 Post #21  June 13,2009, 7:05am

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Bandmate wrote :
we know what pretty is,we know what ugly is too,then of course there's pretty ugly...i might also add that women get the better deal...money doesn't get old,fat and cranky
But money can be poorly managed, lost, and not have as much meaning as one once thought....
 
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Bandmate is offline Bandmate Post #22  June 13,2009, 7:36am

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Monica1 wrote :
But money can be poorly managed, lost, and not have as much meaning as one once thought....

American culture knows only relative wealth and prosperity,we speak the way we do about money in whatever amount because most of us have never been totally destitute...we indulge in fanciful notions on full bellies well clothed,sheltered and cared for...someone here said something about "real wealth" and then listed a few things like kindness,compassion ect and those things certainly have their value but many people live their entire lives without those things and die at a ripe old age...without material things you die or wish you were dead...i'm not talking about driving a 10 year old Ford instead of a new BMW or living in an apartment instead of 5 bedroom house...or even eating Chicken when you would rather have steak...i'm talking about complete,absolute poverty.....something few Americans know anything about.wealth is relative and circumstantial,you could put Bill Gates in the desert for 2 or 3 days and he would give you his entire fortune for a glass of water.
Last edited by Bandmate; June 13,2009 at 7:45am.
 
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Monica1 is offline Monica1 Post #23  June 13,2009, 8:00am

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So, you get my point then....right? Seems so
 
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LereleiLee is offline LereleiLee Post #24  June 13,2009, 8:06am
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Of course there are different degrees one can use to describe 'wealthy' or 'pretty', and of course people have a right to want what they want. I find it interesting though, when men are insistent they date only a pretty woman, but don't want to be wanted just for their wealth. Women, too, want to be wanted for more than their looks, while placing a priority on a man's wealth. But I have found more men than women who want those relative standards. And more men than women who are offended at the thought of being wanted 'just' for one aspect. Frankly, I don't care as long as people are honest about it with the those they date. And if a wealthy man wants a pretty woman and is willing to pay to keep her that way, more power to them as long as they both know the situation.
 
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Bandmate is offline Bandmate Post #25  June 13,2009, 8:08am

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Monica1 wrote :
So, you get my point then....right? Seems so

I do...it's usualy best to choose the context of a discussion about money and material things... in the physical it's just about everything if it's not available...in the spiritual of little importance if any
 
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stevenvictx is offline stevenvictx Post #26  June 13,2009, 9:02am
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I've never dated a woman for looks, and have the photos to prove it.
But one was rather nice looking, but was dead in bed, plus had nothing in common with her.
But then again,
I think the only reason she dated me was because she had a retarded son and no other guy would date her because of it.
 
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lovistheanswer is offline lovistheanswer Post #27  June 13,2009, 9:20am
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Great perspective!
 
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Fancypantz is offline Fancypantz Post #28  June 13,2009, 9:31am
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Given we live in a patriarchical society, anything a man does will generally be more accepted than what a women does,i.e. older man/younger woman vs younger man/older woman. Slowly this is changing (The cougar phenomenon, although I don't get this image is positive because it makes older women look like predators).

I don't have any negative feelings about men chasing pretty/younger women or women dating older men whom are at a higher soci-economic status than herself. For me, my personal preference is to have someone in the same age range, give or take a couple of years and also to be at the same socio-economic level. I want to grow with my partner not be taken care of or take care of my partner.

I say stop worrying about what other people are doing and go for what you want.
Last edited by Fancypantz; June 13,2009 at 9:37am. Reason: typo
 
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Work_in_Progress is offline Work_in_Progress Post #29  June 13,2009, 9:34am
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LereleiLee wrote :
I've seen this double standard bantered around here, and discussed in general. Why is it considered acceptable for a man to want a young, attractive, even hot, woman, but it is not acceptable for a woman to want an older, wealther (or at least well established) man? She is called a gold digger while the man (poor thing) 'just wants to be attracted' to her. Often the men who want these women also do not want to be 'wanted' for their money. And vice versa. I know this is putting a stick into a hornets' nest, but it is a double standard.

In the movie Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Marilyn Monroe's character is accused of wanting a man for his money, to which she replies, "Aren't you silly? You wouldn't marry a woman just because she's pretty, but, my goodness! Doesn't it help?"

Hi, LereleiLee, and welcome, from one relative newbie to another!

I see what you're getting at in a way, but I'm not so sure it is actually a double standard.

While it is said that men are more visual, and therefore more likely to focus on strictly physical traits, women are also more likely to seek attractive men; it just seems that we're more likely to consider the "whole person" when measuring level of attractiveness or "chemistry." I should add, however, that I believe this is also true of men, if we're talking about women they choose for actual relationships or marriage rather than casual dates or one-night stands.

But aside from that, no matter how we measure physical attraction, it's still about being attracted to a particular person, whereas money is something external and separate from the person, in addition to being something earned, and that can be taken away.

I guess you could say (and I think someone may have made this or a similar point in another post) that a man could "use you" for your beauty and marry you young, only to leave you older and less beautiful to start over at age 55, but a wealthy person could be used for money and left broke in a much shorter time, and by someone who never really wanted to be with that person at all...

The woman who has been left at age 55 (or whenever) may have wasted some years with the wrong person, but she is often still beautiful, albeit in a different, more mature way, and frankly, she is often.... well, better off without him.
 
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simpletonHeart70 is offline simpletonHeart70 Post #30  June 13,2009, 9:46am
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Double standard? The issue isn't that women like men for their money, it's that they LIE about it and say it doesn't matter.

Men will openly say they are attracted to beautiful women.

Another thing women lie about is not being interested in beautiful men. I actually believe women are far more shallower than men are. Even though as the OP demonstrates there is this belief that men only care about appearances.

Men don't spend billions on fashion magazines and are hardly obsessed with appearances as women are.

And I think men are more willing to settle for some gal in a baseball cap than some woman is for a man in one.

It's not a double standard. Men just want women to be honest. If you like men for money then so be it, say so. Don't pretend to be superior by saying it doesn't matter.
 
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