Jasmine83 is offline Jasmine83 Post #1  June 12,2009, 4:32am
Jasmine83's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2009

Posts: 19

See profile

I communicate with every match that is willing to communicate with me. It is a little hard to keep track of but I do it. It usually ends in the match disappearing (never writing back). It usually doesn’t end in the guy asking me for a date. My theory is that my match finds someone else because there are more guys on eHarmony than woman.
Since I am writing lots of different matches, I am noticing patterns. I feel like I am having the same conversation, over and over again. Like that movie Groundhog Day.
Here is a list of things I am noticing:
  • What kind of music do you listen to?
  • What kind of movies do you like?
  • Did you grow up here?
  • Tell me about your family.
  • Most of them ask me about traveling.
  • We talk about our occupations.

What else do you talk about with your matches? Maybe if my conversation is different it will lead to my match asking me out instead of disappearing. What patterns do you notice?
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  June 12,2009, 5:28am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Of course the initial e-mails in Open Communication is going to be similar with each match. You are trying to get to know each other and you would not want to start the first message with some heavy philosophical discussion.

I start off with questions of where they grew up, do they have family in the area, what part of town they live in, etc. As the conversation continues hopefully further topics of conversation will come out of their answers to my questions, my answers to their questions and information in their profile.

Now a couple of questions for you. If you were to meet someone new at a party or work what would you talk about? If you find that you have nothing to talk about with your match in Open Communication what would you find to talk about if you were to meet in person?

If after a few e-mails you find that you would like to meet the match in person why don't you make a suggestion to meet?
 
  Reply With Quote
brownize916 is offline brownize916 Post #3  June 12,2009, 12:14pm
brownize916's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 792

See profile

How long are you staying in OC before he disappears or closes you out? Are you asking all these questions in one email or spread out over several? I personally have never liked to go through OC for weeks on end. Usually I suggest a meeting if he hasn't already after a couple of emails, or at least a phone call. I would recommend trying that if you haven't already.

Your matches most likely have several other matches in their queue so its important that you give him a reason to keep wanting to communicate with you. Keep the conversation interesting and fun. Good luck.
 
  Reply With Quote
DDjr is offline DDjr Post #4  June 12,2009, 1:15pm
DDjr's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Posts: 848

See profile

For another question you can always ask about their experience with EH.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  June 12,2009, 1:24pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

Jasmine83 wrote :
What else do you talk about with your matches?

Where and when to meet is the only question I care about.
[FONT=Calibri]
 
  Reply With Quote
trailviews is offline trailviews Post #6  June 12,2009, 2:08pm
trailviews's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2007

State College, PA

Posts: 528

See profile

Jasmine83 wrote :
What else do you talk about with your matches?
I always talk with my matches about our shared interests.

Umm, what shared interests? The ones I made sure were in her profile before I initiated communication.

Ah, but what if she initiated communication? Oh, there's this open ended question during guided communication on which interests she would like to share with her partner.
 
  Reply With Quote
angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #7  June 13,2009, 3:24am
angelofmerci's Avatar

loves the feel of the wind blowing in his face while riding the curves

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 1,302

See profile

Communication is the keystone of any relationship and also helps us learn more about a person. The person's profile usually is just a starting point. If the person has children asking their opinion on book censenorship in the school libraries will let you gain further insight into where they are. Try to think of questions such as these where there are no stock answers but require some inner reflection. Good luck
 
  Reply With Quote
Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #8  June 13,2009, 8:41am

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

East Coast

Posts: 1,079

See profile

Jasmine83 wrote :
I communicate with every match that is willing to communicate with me. It is a little hard to keep track of but I do it. It usually ends in the match disappearing (never writing back). It usually
doesn
’t end in the guy asking me for a date. My theory is that my match finds someone else because there are more guys on
eHarmony
than woman.
Since I am writing lots of different matches, I am noticing patterns. I feel like I am having the same conversation, over and over again. Like that movie Groundhog Day.
Here is a list of things I am noticing:
  • What kind of music do you listen to?
  • What kind of movies do you like?
  • Did you grow up here?
  • Tell me about your family.
  • Most of them ask me about traveling.
  • We talk about our occupations.
fficeffice" />>>
What else do you talk about with your matches? Maybe if my conversation is different it will lead to my match asking me out instead of disappearing. What patterns do you notice?
If you don't ask the right questions your not going to get the right answers. Think on it a bit what questions would you like to ask?
You could ask if they like sports and if they are active in any? You could also ask if they like sex? If they engage in it with a partner or by themselves? Do they like it? I think that you get some interesting responses, but you will be in control, they will follow your lead. the above is only a suggestion as an ice breaker, make up your own questions.

Harvey7.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« 52 weeks for Neenah to find herself a husband doing her own website | Dating | Why is this the case?? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Alec Greven: How to Talk to Girls Scotch About You 21 November 21,2009 10:17am
You can't even talk about it dito Politics 77 May 27,2009 7:45am
O.C. But she doesn't like to talk? theweave Dating 5 May 19,2009 11:38am
Talk about having a bad day..... kibbie AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 10 May 13,2009 10:20pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Most anyone has been there I imagine. My advice is: don't over think it, it's all a numbers game (more for some than others), focus on your happiness/life, and work on your market value.” –  Raw_Truth

Join the “Very discouraged.” discussion

“ I figured it had something to do with that "hair gel" that Cameron Diaz was using in the movie "There's Something About Mary"...” –  Shelby

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I used to do this in my youth. A couple relevant factors likely were that I broke up with them, they would have liked to re-engage and I had poor boundaries--desperately wanting to stay friends. ... ” –  EccentricAmbiguity

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion

“ You can also try saran wrapping your midsection for a few days. I've heard that works but I haven't tried it. If you do, please let us know how things go. . Lol!! Why don't you try it first ... ” –  EccentricAmbiguity

Join the “Belly Fat” discussion

“Trust your gut feelings! It seems to me his friend does not have a sense of boundaries and it seems that your boyfriend is doing nothing to discourage his constant annoying interference in your ... ” –  elliechris

Join the “When is friendship a problem” discussion

“Lol yeah I do hope so. Thanks again! ” –  elyone

Join the “Profile Review please 25/F” discussion

“Jenky & PSG, you two are so great! I'm loving following your story! I admire you both for being brave enough to try this. LDRs are hard no matter how you look at it. It requires a significant ... ” –  singinggirl

Join the “My Virtual Relationship or The five day first date” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:56pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0