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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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Ha! Ha! BigCat - I read your first line about picking on us and walked away to get my coffee thinking to myself it is because it is one dimensional and then came back and read the rest of your post. He! He!

I think IceCreamMoon answered it exactly for me!!! (Now, look who is boring with just agreeing)

But I do want to add, I am not sure if your talent for spacial perception applies here. We are not talking about inanimate objects. I guess I just miss having a feel for someone's personality before dating them. That is what really does "it" for me and it does not translate well in this medium (here on advice it does!).

But alas, I am getting old and my circle of friends has shrunk so e-dating it is. Otherwise, I am stuck with the one other single guy at the party. Ha! Ha! (I wonder if that is how some gay people feel when someone knows just one other gay person and so they say...I have someone perfect for you!)
- June 11th, 2009, 08:33 am
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choiceweb0pen0 choiceweb0pen0 is offline
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
How are you doing?
Behind on my reading lol. you?
- June 11th, 2009, 08:38 am
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choiceweb0pen0 choiceweb0pen0 is offline
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bigfincat wrote :
I have to make fun of some of my favorite ladies on this thread.

Why is there ANY difference at all between the decisions that you make online & the ones that you make in real life as far as dating??

If someone is attractive & sounds somewhat interesting, then why not have dinner with them? Meet them & then decide if they are datable. Why restrict yourself more when an introduction happens to be online?

You can definitely make a conscious effort to not look at online dating as shopping for produce or to not make quick judgements on certain criteria.

Actually, after thinking about it, I may have figured that out to some degree. I think that some people can conceptualise one dimentional things in ways that other people cannot.

In my career, I have no problem envisioning what different furniture pieces will fit & be useful in a certain space or can tell what a certain fabric will look like when made up. Very few of our clients can do that. I can see how that can possibly be related.

I have also been known to see a cool looking object at a store or even in a pile of junk & look at it (sometimes for many minutes) trying to come up with SOME way for me to use it even if it is not its intended use. If I cannot come up with a place for it or a use for it, then I don't buy it.

I have no problem seeing the person through their profile so I make no distinction between the 2 worlds.

As far as the actual original thread:

General intelligence is far more important to me than a degree. While I do value the experience of college (& not just college but going away from home to college even more than that) I always saw it as a way to develop critical thinking & problem solving skills. If someone has those abilities then that is all I need.
Good points. I definitely would/should follow this advice. I will always be more interested in a profile that conveys a personality instead of someone using several bland buzzwords.
- June 11th, 2009, 08:39 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
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treeye wrote :

I didn't pass my spelling test though; well, I'm just getting frustrated with not being able to be matched with those who seemed compatible with me; and for those who's a match, there's no chemistry...sign
Didn't pass your grammar test either

Just an observation which could be all wrong. I sort of suspect that you don't really have a firm grasp on exactly what you are looking for in match / date / mate. You may want to keep an open mind, look for compatibility of core values not the superfluous things like degrees and money. Date as many as you can for the fun of the date and find what you do and don't find attractive in a person.
(It sure would be nice if I knew if you were male or female and what age group you fell into)
- June 11th, 2009, 08:45 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
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Formal education (degrees) nor income are particularly important to me.

Knowledge of the world around them and common sense are more important than an advanced degree from a "top university". I have known many a PhD that could not find the door with both hands.
Likewise, financial responsibility is more important than earning a large salary. You can find many foreclosed houses that were owned by two income couples earning very large salaries (far more than me).
- June 11th, 2009, 08:54 am
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lacedwithhope wrote :
I've posted this before, but I think a basic degree suggests a guy has some drive and follow-through, and probably believes, like I do, that education is important. I have a doctorate, but I'm certainly not competing with anyone. I was raised in a family that put a lot of emphasis on education however, so it's part of my value system.

I've found that even some guys with a bachelor's degree are uncomfortable with the disparity in our educations. I'm really not trying to be a snob, but rather just trying to figure out what works. And I don't care how much money he makes, as long as it's somewhere in the neighborhood of my income, so again there are no glaring disparities (i.e., resentment on his part.)
I have run into some of the same "uncomfortable" feelings with a certain man who has a bachelor's degree and a very good job, and I am at a loss as to how to make him understand that I really like HIM, and that disparities in education and income, etc. absolutely don't matter to me and shouldn't matter to him either. Maybe he reads eHarmony Advice. . .j/k.

If I can hang out with a guy and be myself and not have to worry about dumbing down my vocabulary, if he can make me laugh and appreciate my weird sense of humor, and if he occasionally says thoughtful or thought-provoking things, then, he is plenty intelligent for me. What more could I want? I have a law degree, but I don't want to spend all of my free time sitting around debating the qualifications of the latest Supreme Court nominee. My life goal is not to find a partner for team Jeopardy - I'm not smart enough for that.

It's the same with income. Yeah, I make six figures, but I pretty much live the way I was raised, by middle class public school teachers. I have no intention of amassing great wealth or reigning over a vast network of international estates. A nice little backyard someday. . .that's more along the lines of my goals. I respect the hell out of a man who is responsible and has a good work ethic. The number on his paycheck doesn't matter. I would never think that my job is any better or more important than any other simply because it pays more. In fact, in the case of this certain man, I'm quite sure that his job is exponentially more important than mine.
- June 11th, 2009, 09:52 am
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My thoughts:

Education: Although I have achieved a high level of education, my interests away from work tend not to focus on education. I don't require that my partner have the same level of education as me, but I'd certainly want her to appreciate the value of education and, as cp30 says, not devalue or undermine those who do believe it to be important.

Income: I'd want my partner to be able to support herself if need be. From what I've read on these boards and discussed with women, this is also an ideal situation for them. In building a future together, obviously the more financial freedom you have the better. But in terms of her having to earn the same as I, that's not a requirement for me. The income distribution of the women I've dated is about a 33 more-33 same-33 less split, which is ideal. I think financial responsibility is more important than the income itself.
- June 11th, 2009, 09:59 am
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cp30 cp30 is offline
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okay, those of you picking on me! I knew when I said that some of you might say...how weird! Meeting in real life has drawbacks to you!?

Yes!! Especially in this instance. Here is why...

1. We didn't talk long enough for him to know that much about me. So I have to wonder why he is that interested in me. Was it my dress? Was it my hair? Was it just that he learned I am from Chicago and I have cool taste in buildings and a light interest in art and photography? He could only tell it was a light interest because half the city was out that day doing the exact same thing! So, maybe he saw something special in me, but basially, it was a breif meeting, not like over the internet where we can actually read to determine how much we really might have in common on a deeper level, perhaps.

2. He is MUCH older! And while he may have been attracted to me I didn't find him particularly attractive...not bad...but again, gray hair and much older. Not my typical cup of tea. Just an interesting guy, most of which I found by googling him later. All I knew from conversation was that he was an architect and knew a lot about my city, which was cool. But, for all I knew he was an old creeper.

3. I am looking to date more for the long run.... I didn't see this going that direction based on what I knew from the breif meeting. So, meh. I would like to have dinner with him but his lack of knowledge of ME gives me pause, and well I am just not in any hurry. I'm not against it, just not gonna break my heart if we don't get out to dinner.

However I do have matches online that I think fit the bill more of what is important to me right now, and I'd be more likely to arrange my schedule for them.

Stop picking on me!
- June 11th, 2009, 11:25 am
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4getmenot 4getmenot is offline
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Education, degrees, certificates are not important to me. I have dated highly educated men and not so highly educated men before and have been equally disappointed with them. Intelligence IS what is important to me.

Income, it is important that he can support himself and be of support if he plans on marrying and forming a family. I, on my own support myself and 2 kids, I don't want to support someone else. They don't have to make the same as me or more just as long as I will not have to be the one supporting him as well.
- June 11th, 2009, 11:31 am
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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cp30 wrote :
Stop picking on me!
And do what instead?
It's the middle of the night here, some idiot client from overseas just called without checking the time difference. Can't go back to sleep, so I don't have much elese to do now
- June 11th, 2009, 11:34 am
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