lilly08 is offline lilly08 Post #1  June 9,2009, 9:59pm
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Hi,
I have been on eHarmony for a couple weeks and am expecting my first phone call with a guy. We communicate really well and naturally through messaging but I am so nervous about talking on the phone. I am in my mid-twenties and have always been in relationships so I have very little "dating" experience. I don't want thw phone call to be akward. I am usually pretty social and can carry a conversation but I am so worried about it when it comes to dating. Does anyone have any ideas about what worked for them during the first phone call. What are good conversation startes without seeming like you are giving them the third degree?
 
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treeye is offline treeye Post #2  June 10,2009, 12:00pm
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as to what to talk about, google
relax is the best strategy as to good phone conversation.

good luck
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #3  June 10,2009, 12:23pm
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Just treat it like a normal conversation. While you haven't met him yet, he's not a complete stranger to you...you've gone through GC and OC e-mail communication. Tell him about your week, ask him about his week, etc. You'll be nervous, but remember that he'll be nervous as well. Sometimes just telling someone "I'm a little nervous about this" helps. You'd be surprised at what a good icebreaker that can be.

Best of luck with the phone call.
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #4  June 10,2009, 12:53pm
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i agree, relaxing is the key. ways to do this... take a deep sigh before you pick up, talk a little slower and use fewer sentences, don't look for proof of anything and don't try to explain what you're like during the call.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  June 10,2009, 1:02pm
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[FONT=Calibri]Guy: Is Friday at 6:00 okay? How about [name of restaurant]?
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #6  June 10,2009, 3:09pm
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I'd say, don't talk to him like he's one of your girlfriends. You know...rambling on about ex's; however, that's common sense.
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #7  June 10,2009, 9:48pm
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Ask him how his week has been. Sometimes you can discover something in his reply that opens up more conversation. He could say "I attended a 3 day seminar." That opens up to what the topic of the seminar, where was it held at, did you enjoy your stay, go out at night to see the sights. Good luck
 
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sc4me is offline sc4me Post #8  June 11,2009, 4:15am
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There's nothing worse than someone who talks endlessly about themselves. Ask him questions (and listen) and let him ask them of you.

Yes, it will be awkward at first, but you will fall into a rhythm. Also, plan on keeping it short -- like no more than 10-15 minutes. If it does stretch out longer that is a good sign.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  June 11,2009, 10:01am

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Hi Lilly08,

I’m excited to hear that you’ve gotten to the phone call stage with your match and I’m glad you’ve gotten a lot of good suggestions already. One thing that came to mind immediately was to use information from your match’s profile and communications you’ve already had through the eHarmony interface as springboards for further conversation and questions to ask him. Asking your match open-ended questions gives him freedom to share stories, and may create opportunities for further topics to open up.

I found some articles from the Advice site that might help you out. They mostly focus on the in-person date, but could be applied to a phone conversation as well. The first two address dealing with “nerves”, the third one gives advice on conversation techniques, and the fourth focuses more on how to get to know your match:

How to Deal with Nervousness by eHarmony Advice
Healthy First-Date Nerves—or Much More?
Master the Art of Conversation
How to Get Good at Dating

Enjoy!

Sincerely,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Kate; June 11,2009 at 10:03am.
 
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