Question about looks-based preferences


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  June 9,2009, 12:22pm
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Had a conversation with a friend this past weekend (yes, I talk about you folks incessantly ) and I'm curious as to what you think about this question:

How much of a desire for a physically attractive mate is about one's personal preferences, vs. concerns about other people's perception of them based on the physical appearance of their mate?

Looking forward to hearing your answers!
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #2  June 9,2009, 12:31pm
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Maybe my brain has checked out for today Lori, but I don't understand the question. Could you rephrase?
 
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hogrally is offline hogrally Post #3  June 9,2009, 12:33pm
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tbesq wrote :
Maybe my brain has checked out for today Lori, but I don't understand the question. Could you rephrase?
I also don't understand the wording of the question.
Are you asking how much does my friends approval mean to me in regards to whom I am dating?
 
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hogrally is offline hogrally Post #4  June 9,2009, 12:37pm
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when it rain its pours.... menzzzz

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Looking forward to hearing your answers

I have dated men who have made ppl turn their heads and go wow ....what does he / she in him? My ability to drink them ( or them me ) pretty is a usual comeback
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  June 9,2009, 1:02pm
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hogrally wrote :
I also don't understand the wording of the question.
Are you asking how much does my friends approval mean to me in regards to whom I am dating?
Yes, pretty much -- how much is someone's desire for a physically attractive mate based on their concerns about what other people will think of THEM based on their partner's looks.

Does that help?
 
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brownize916 is offline brownize916 Post #6  June 9,2009, 1:04pm
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Hopefully I read the question correctly.

Honestly I have never even thought about what other people might think when I've dated someone. Usually I am not just looking for a physically desireable mate but someone compatible personality wise. I do think about how a guy would interact with my friends, but the decision on whether or not to pursue someone doesn't have anything to do with what others will think.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #7  June 9,2009, 1:08pm
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No, my physical preferences are my own. Of course my friends sometimes have their own opinions about my choices, but ultimately beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  June 9,2009, 1:19pm
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A follow-on question: have any of you ever NOT dated someone purely because of concern for what others will think?
 
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blrdancer is offline blrdancer Post #9  June 9,2009, 1:21pm
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I may have worried more about this when I was in my teens or early 20s -- but don't really give it a second thought these days. If I'm attracted to them, that's all that matters.

I've actually had people (so-called friends) about the appearance of some guys I've dated in the past - it's obnoxious, but didn't change my opinion in the least.
 
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coffeegeek is offline coffeegeek Post #10  June 9,2009, 1:23pm
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The only thing that matters is that the person I date is beautiful in my eyes. I really don't care what my friends think and they know they will get hell if I catch them being shallow. If they see legit red flags, I welcome the input, but I don't accept "Dude, don't date her, she's ugly."
 
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