I met a girl on another dating site,she answerd my posting and made a comment on my Spyder,and I asked her if she just liked my bike or wanted to go out she said she always liked to make new friends,so we start talking,and seem to have alot of things in common,

this went on for about a week so i figured what the heck I asked her out to dinner and we went, had a very nice time she showed me around her town after dinner showing me all the new things they have built in the past couple of years, (she lives about 45min away from me).Im in Sacramento shes in Stockton. so our date ended very nice she gave me a hug and a kiss goodnight, and off I went happy and content.

so every day for the next month and a half she called me everyday before she went to work to chat with me for a while,(fyi im on forced retirment from a slip and fall in the Kitchen I was a Chef). So i got all the time in the world.anyway we chatted everyday,in this time I havent gone out with her again, but I have hung out with her at her house a few times,the first week or so she asked and told me her sexual fantasys, and her likes and dislikes in the bedroom, shes a mom and struggles to pay her bills,Im far from rich and on a fixed income but im a generous and somewhat simpithetic person so she was saying how PGand E was gonna cut her off if she didnt come up with 300bucks to pay a bill. So I offered to help her out,then I helped her pay a couple of other bills to the toon of a bit over 500bucks total. and mind u I only get a little over 1k a month to live on so I basicaly gave her half my check for that month she never really asked me for any of it I more or less pushed it onto her. saying I wanted to help her and I didnt want to see her stressed out anymore than she already was, her ex doesnt really help out with his obligations,you still with me lol I know this is a long story . and she was driving around a piece of crap car, and again me being the spinless simp iam I gave her my 79bronco, that I really havent been driving much if at all lately and I gave it to her on a easy payment plan shes already made her first payment.
But she didnt pay me back any of the other money I lent her, nor did she even mention it .so back to normal stuff ive been trying to take her out again but seems like everytime I wanna go out somthing always seems to come up,or she cancels on me,so the last time she like on memorial day weekend she invites me for a BBQ and im like nice and then whacks me in the skull by saying u can come but I may also go see my grandpa that day so if I decide to go see him then u cant come out.
Im like why put a stipulation on it for but whatever, spineless simp me goes along with it,so what do u know the day of she texted me and Im like what time do u want me to come over and shes like im oh no sweety im gonna go see my grandpaw..OMG im like I figured have fun and left it at that and a few min later I texted her to put all my shit in my truck im gonna come over and pick it up, and about and hour later or so she calls me up and told me she told her sis she didnt want to drive to see her grandad and told me if she did she would have to drive to one town to pick him up and then drive to her sis's hometown and then spend the day and then have to drive her grandad back home and that she didnt really want to go through all of that .and that she really wanted to spend the day with me. which placated me and made me feel like she really did want ,BAH yeah right, So we spent the day together and I spent another 70bucks on the food dam am I dumb or what (dont answer that) lol and I cooked most of it seeing as how I was a chef,

Well since that day Ive seen her maybe twice still havent actually gone out on another date yet, more excuses and stuff shes gotta get done thing,whatever, and all the while shes went from talking to me about her sexual fantasys to saying dont u think we should be friends first and becom lovers later, the dreaded friends first line ...so of course I agree like a spineless simp, and Ive tried my damdest to compliment her tell her how beautiful I think she is.she hasnt accepted any more money well not really little stuff but mostly thats just me pushing it in her hand
The other day she told me my AC wasnt working right in my Bronco and If I could take back to the place that put in in last August and get em to fix it cause some screw worked its was outta its hole and she didnt want to mess somthing up on AC, so the nice guy (spineless simp) Iam I ride my Spyder all the way to her house 45min trip, talk for a little bit, then drive the bronco all the way back to Sac get it fixed the mech tried to tell me what happend to it wasnt there doing but he still didnt charge me for it although I suspect he did want to charge me for it,and then I drive all the way back to stockton,
Oh did I mention shes been sick for over a week now so we havent really did anything together and oh did I also mention we now because she is outta work cause she works for the school district so shes outta work for the summer months,
and now shes moved her best friend Donna into her house to help pay her bills Donnas not getting along with her husband, and somtime this month she is also moving her grandson into her house for a extended stay so I suspect that will mean even less time spent with me.and we have went from talking to each other every day to texting dam near exclusivly,
I talked to maybe three or four times in the last week and a half and ive told her I dont like this texting thing I miss talking to her, Ive told her that im not in love with her but i do like her alot ( WHY I DONT KNOW) Im starting to wonder why,one day shes like hi sweety and babe and the next all her texts are like two words or if I say I miss her shes like I know thats like her fav thing to say (I Know) now I wonder if I should have just kept my comments about my feelings to myself I treat all women with the utmost respect Im Chivlris I open doors every time,I buy em flowers for no reason at all just cause I like too,I tell em how beautiful they are and that they deserve only the best things in life,

And boy if they dont just walk all over me or blow me off ive dated two other girls recently too and both of them have now blown me off IM MY OWN WORST ENEMY.if I had a gun I couldnt Blow my brains out with it Id probably miss. I feel so stupid and used unappreciated,I was married for 7 years been divorced for almost 4 years now and my ex basically lost intrest in me after I got hurt on the job and fell outta love with me then she decided to take up a reltionship with some guy I introduced her too playing that stupid online game world of warcraft we used to play it together alot especially on the weekened,
And then they started playing together alot when I wasnt playing and then she asked me for a divorce and when I moved out He moved all the way from Boston and she moved him right in, Crushed my heart I always thought we would be together forever, and never thought she would divorce me.boy was I sadly mistaken. Im over her but I was with her for 7 years and for me I just cant completly forget her,but i know i dont love her anymore and have moved on a long time ago,dam did i just type all of this crap.So here I sit all broken hearted and feeling used abused and I feel like a dumb ignorant SPINELSS SIMP
sorry for the extra long story but apparently I had alot on my mind. I feel so alone.....Michael
thanks for reading if all u want to do is put me down for this then keep your comments to yourself ive had enough of that from my stupidity and from all the women that I seem to pick that just wanna use me...............>(