I feel like a spinless simp


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SpyderRyder65 is offline SpyderRyder65 Post #1  June 9,2009, 1:35am
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I met a girl on another dating site,she answerd my posting and made a comment on my Spyder,and I asked her if she just liked my bike or wanted to go out she said she always liked to make new friends,so we start talking,and seem to have alot of things in common,

this went on for about a week so i figured what the heck I asked her out to dinner and we went, had a very nice time she showed me around her town after dinner showing me all the new things they have built in the past couple of years, (she lives about 45min away from me).Im in Sacramento shes in Stockton. so our date ended very nice she gave me a hug and a kiss goodnight, and off I went happy and content.

so every day for the next month and a half she called me everyday before she went to work to chat with me for a while,(fyi im on forced retirment from a slip and fall in the Kitchen I was a Chef). So i got all the time in the world.anyway we chatted everyday,in this time I havent gone out with her again, but I have hung out with her at her house a few times,the first week or so she asked and told me her sexual fantasys, and her likes and dislikes in the bedroom, shes a mom and struggles to pay her bills,Im far from rich and on a fixed income but im a generous and somewhat simpithetic person so she was saying how PGand E was gonna cut her off if she didnt come up with 300bucks to pay a bill. So I offered to help her out,then I helped her pay a couple of other bills to the toon of a bit over 500bucks total. and mind u I only get a little over 1k a month to live on so I basicaly gave her half my check for that month she never really asked me for any of it I more or less pushed it onto her. saying I wanted to help her and I didnt want to see her stressed out anymore than she already was, her ex doesnt really help out with his obligations,you still with me lol I know this is a long story . and she was driving around a piece of crap car, and again me being the spinless simp iam I gave her my 79bronco, that I really havent been driving much if at all lately and I gave it to her on a easy payment plan shes already made her first payment.
But she didnt pay me back any of the other money I lent her, nor did she even mention it .so back to normal stuff ive been trying to take her out again but seems like everytime I wanna go out somthing always seems to come up,or she cancels on me,so the last time she like on memorial day weekend she invites me for a BBQ and im like nice and then whacks me in the skull by saying u can come but I may also go see my grandpa that day so if I decide to go see him then u cant come out.
Im like why put a stipulation on it for but whatever, spineless simp me goes along with it,so what do u know the day of she texted me and Im like what time do u want me to come over and shes like im oh no sweety im gonna go see my grandpaw..OMG im like I figured have fun and left it at that and a few min later I texted her to put all my shit in my truck im gonna come over and pick it up, and about and hour later or so she calls me up and told me she told her sis she didnt want to drive to see her grandad and told me if she did she would have to drive to one town to pick him up and then drive to her sis's hometown and then spend the day and then have to drive her grandad back home and that she didnt really want to go through all of that .and that she really wanted to spend the day with me. which placated me and made me feel like she really did want ,BAH yeah right, So we spent the day together and I spent another 70bucks on the food dam am I dumb or what (dont answer that) lol and I cooked most of it seeing as how I was a chef,

Well since that day Ive seen her maybe twice still havent actually gone out on another date yet, more excuses and stuff shes gotta get done thing,whatever, and all the while shes went from talking to me about her sexual fantasys to saying dont u think we should be friends first and becom lovers later, the dreaded friends first line ...so of course I agree like a spineless simp, and Ive tried my damdest to compliment her tell her how beautiful I think she is.she hasnt accepted any more money well not really little stuff but mostly thats just me pushing it in her hand
The other day she told me my AC wasnt working right in my Bronco and If I could take back to the place that put in in last August and get em to fix it cause some screw worked its was outta its hole and she didnt want to mess somthing up on AC, so the nice guy (spineless simp) Iam I ride my Spyder all the way to her house 45min trip, talk for a little bit, then drive the bronco all the way back to Sac get it fixed the mech tried to tell me what happend to it wasnt there doing but he still didnt charge me for it although I suspect he did want to charge me for it,and then I drive all the way back to stockton,
Oh did I mention shes been sick for over a week now so we havent really did anything together and oh did I also mention we now because she is outta work cause she works for the school district so shes outta work for the summer months,
and now shes moved her best friend Donna into her house to help pay her bills Donnas not getting along with her husband, and somtime this month she is also moving her grandson into her house for a extended stay so I suspect that will mean even less time spent with me.and we have went from talking to each other every day to texting dam near exclusivly,
I talked to maybe three or four times in the last week and a half and ive told her I dont like this texting thing I miss talking to her, Ive told her that im not in love with her but i do like her alot ( WHY I DONT KNOW) Im starting to wonder why,one day shes like hi sweety and babe and the next all her texts are like two words or if I say I miss her shes like I know thats like her fav thing to say (I Know) now I wonder if I should have just kept my comments about my feelings to myself I treat all women with the utmost respect Im Chivlris I open doors every time,I buy em flowers for no reason at all just cause I like too,I tell em how beautiful they are and that they deserve only the best things in life,

And boy if they dont just walk all over me or blow me off ive dated two other girls recently too and both of them have now blown me off IM MY OWN WORST ENEMY.if I had a gun I couldnt Blow my brains out with it Id probably miss. I feel so stupid and used unappreciated,I was married for 7 years been divorced for almost 4 years now and my ex basically lost intrest in me after I got hurt on the job and fell outta love with me then she decided to take up a reltionship with some guy I introduced her too playing that stupid online game world of warcraft we used to play it together alot especially on the weekened,
And then they started playing together alot when I wasnt playing and then she asked me for a divorce and when I moved out He moved all the way from Boston and she moved him right in, Crushed my heart I always thought we would be together forever, and never thought she would divorce me.boy was I sadly mistaken. Im over her but I was with her for 7 years and for me I just cant completly forget her,but i know i dont love her anymore and have moved on a long time ago,dam did i just type all of this crap.So here I sit all broken hearted and feeling used abused and I feel like a dumb ignorant SPINELSS SIMP
sorry for the extra long story but apparently I had alot on my mind. I feel so alone.....Michael
thanks for reading if all u want to do is put me down for this then keep your comments to yourself ive had enough of that from my stupidity and from all the women that I seem to pick that just wanna use me...............>(
Last edited by SpyderRyder65; June 9,2009 at 2:02pm.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  June 9,2009, 10:24am
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Could you please add paragraphs and punctuation to your post. As is, the post is nearly impossible to read.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #3  June 9,2009, 10:36am

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Short term answer go to her house late at night and repo/ or pick up your truck. Take her to small claims court or just forget about it and move on. There are a lot of people that practice the art of being a hustler and that is what your friend did to you, move on.

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SisterCassie is offline SisterCassie Post #4  June 9,2009, 6:58pm
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Goodness, that was entertaining. You still have a sense of humor! I was hoping when you said she asked you to fix the a/c in the truck that you saw that as your opportunity to take it back. Maybe she was giving you an out there.

I don't know what it is like to play the damsel in distress; not something I ever developed a hankering for. I have seen this though and wondered how some women can be so tasteless. And how some guys can be so ... generous.

Good luck ... I think you know what you need to do to save yourself from yourself and her.
Last edited by SisterCassie; June 9,2009 at 7:02pm. Reason: punctuation perfection
 
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illustrator is offline illustrator Post #5  June 9,2009, 7:44pm
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SisterCassie wrote :
Good luck ... I think you know what you need to do to save yourself from yourself and her.

I'm not so sure about that.
 
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SisterCassie is offline SisterCassie Post #6  June 9,2009, 7:50pm
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illustrator wrote :
I'm not so sure about that.
Give the guy some support, dude! lol
 
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illustrator is offline illustrator Post #7  June 9,2009, 8:05pm
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SisterCassie wrote :
Give the guy some support, dude! lol

Moral support? Not my style - got a rep to uphold.

Financial support? No way - we're in a recession.

Advisory support? Umm . . . . some things are better left unsaid.
 
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marybear is offline marybear Post #8  June 9,2009, 8:06pm
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Hey, you get no sermon from me. We all want people to be the best we can imagine-----but we forget many are not. Yeah, you do need to move on (get the bronco back or put it in her name for purposes of liability) Hey, you sound like a gem of a guy----but you have your blinders on. If you have some close women friends, next time ask for their advice. I have the same problem you have sometimes-----too open and trusting too quickly. Hey, learn your lesson and notice the signs next time----if you look back they really were there. We have all felt stupid-----we all do stupid things-----but that doesn't make us stupid. It just makes us people who want to see the best in others. Next time, protect your wallet------and be a little less trusting with your heart.
 
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SisterCassie is offline SisterCassie Post #9  June 9,2009, 8:16pm
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marybear wrote :
We have all felt stupid-----we all do stupid things-----but that doesn't make us stupid. It just makes us people who want to see the best in others. Next time, protect your wallet------and be a little less trusting with your heart.
Very nicely said.
 
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tinkerbella is offline tinkerbella Post #10  June 9,2009, 10:22pm
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Wow, Spyder, I hate to be harsh here, but you are not being a spineless simp. You are simply refusing to take responsibility for your own actions.

You & this woman are both trying to manipulate each other; her, with the promise of sex; you, with money.

You chose this path by "forcing" the money on her (as you said), perhaps hoping that by feeling indebted to you, she would be more likely to go out with you. Yes, you were being "nice," but let's face it, you were also hoping for something else (sexual affection, a relationship) in return. When that didn't happen, you became frustrated.

The root of this behavior ("forcing" or offering money to someone you are attracted to) is perhaps feeling that money is all you have to offer them, that you yourself are not enough, or that you must also give them material goods. Due to our materialistic society, many men fall into the trap of thinking this way.

The only thing you need "offer" a woman when you are interested in her is time with each other! Ask her out-it could be just for a cup of coffee to start. Or dinner & a movie. Whatever you think is best. Go from there.

Back to this creepy woman- were you giving her money as a way of asserting your power, avoiding the possible rejection that may have come if you had simply asked her out on another normal date, and not supported her financial concerns?

If so, she would have done you a favor. She is clearly looking for a meal ticket.

Understand me here: she was wrong to take your money. At the very least, she should have paid you back and made her true feelings (friends only) clear. However, she wanted the money, and so manipulated you with the promise of sexual favors.

This is a tale as old as time. I tend to think in these situations, each side knows what it wants, neither of you is innocent. It's not like you were giving money to some 400lb grandma to help her out-you had a little side action in mind. This woman probably has a little black book full of money men she calls, and that's a sad way to live.

I would see a therapist to help you build your self-esteem. Then you may find it much easier to attract a mate free of all this drama.
 
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