recent dating experience


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treeye is offline treeye Post #1  June 7,2009, 3:01pm
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I've dated first guy for three months, I really like him and I think he likes me too but for three months, he didn't have the intention of even holding my hand but he's still going out with me; and after I made my move (not even kissing), he seemed freak out and disappeared. so I closed him.

after that, I meet up with another guy from the site and dated for a month he was so interested at the begining, then after two dates he seemed to become distant, we kissed almost an hour on our last date, then I told him I want to wait for sex. then he almost disappeared.

so I'm just venting i guess,I did learn something from these experiences, and I know i shouldn't be so obsessed with why i was not treated well by these men... no matter what it still hurts. i know i still need to keep trying but it is frustrating.
Last edited by treeye; June 7,2009 at 3:05pm.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #2  June 7,2009, 3:18pm
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If you dated for 3 months and didn't hold hands or kiss, I'd have to say it was a distal friendship. Heck, a hug and kiss on the cheek (aka "the dating kiss of death") is something even family members do.

Regarding guy #2
You two kissed for an hour? Did you tell him you want to wait for marriage or just wait until you felt more comfortable? In any event, you know what he values. So guy #2 is totally out of the picture then?
 
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treeye is offline treeye Post #3  June 7,2009, 3:40pm
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I guess i'm not very experienced in terms of dating, that's why for the first guy, I keep on thinking he's taking me out for dinner, we'd good conversation, although he never calls, he won't touch me at all, it's fine

so for the 2nd, I told him he'll probably have to wait for a long time ( no I didn't say marriage). but in my head, i always had the doubt that he didn't take as much interest in me as a person, and now he's showing signs of disrespect and withdraw. so I think I'm giving him up, no matter he comes around or not.

so will a guy wait for six months if he's really interested in me?

KungFuFtr wrote :
If you dated for 3 months and didn't hold hands or kiss, I'd have to say it was a distal friendship. Heck, a hug and kiss on the cheek (aka "the dating kiss of death") is something even family members do.

Regarding guy #2
You two kissed for an hour? Did you tell him you want to wait for marriage or just wait until you felt more comfortable? In any event, you know what he values. So guy #2 is totally out of the picture then?
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #4  June 7,2009, 7:41pm
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I may wait 6 months if the relationship wasn't exclusive and I was dating multiple people. I'm not a big fan of contrived arrangements e.g. "no sex until date #10 or no @^&/ sex until 6 months". The set arrangements seem too scripted and are not based on emotions.
 
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singinggirl is online now singinggirl Post #5  June 7,2009, 7:54pm
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treeye wrote :
so will a guy wait for six months if he's really interested in me?

Depends on the guy. If it's really important to you, then he will wait for you to feel comfortable if he's the right one. When I married, my husband was my first and we waited until the honeymoon. I have other friends for whom this is true, as well.
 
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Benevolence32 is offline Benevolence32 Post #6  June 7,2009, 7:54pm
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First guy was gay, second guy wanted sex sooner rather than later. As for how long a guy will wait every guy is different most don't like an exact timeline put on it though and most are not open to waiting until marriage. Some guys can wait quite a few months until you have a firm emotional attachment if it is your wish, others expect it within 6 hours.
Last edited by Benevolence32; June 7,2009 at 7:59pm.
 
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singinggirl is online now singinggirl Post #7  June 7,2009, 7:57pm
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Benevolence32 wrote :
First guy was gay.

Based upon my recent experience discussed in another post, this was exactly what I thought!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  June 7,2009, 9:12pm
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treeye wrote :
I guess i'm not very experienced in terms of dating, that's why for the first guy, I keep on thinking he's taking me out for dinner, we'd good conversation, although he never calls, he won't touch me at all, it's fine

so for the 2nd, I told him he'll probably have to wait for a long time ( no I didn't say marriage). but in my head, i always had the doubt that he didn't take as much interest in me as a person, and now he's showing signs of disrespect and withdraw. so I think I'm giving him up, no matter he comes around or not.

so will a guy wait for six months if he's really interested in me?
The right guy will have the same values that you have. So if your values tell you to wait six months his values will also say to wait for six months.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  June 7,2009, 9:14pm
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You know there is a First Question which asks what your match is comfortable with in terms of hugs, holding hands and casual kisses. "Do you consider yourself physically affectionate when involved in a relationship?"
 
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treeye is offline treeye Post #10  June 8,2009, 6:19am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
You know there is a First Question which asks what your match is comfortable with in terms of hugs, holding hands and casual kisses. "Do you consider yourself physically affectionate when involved in a relationship?"

yes i'm very affectionate, i want to wait simply because of my values. I'm not talking about "six months" with a guy, those who dated me can't even wait for over 1.5 months. how can a woman form a strong emotional connection with a guy who she just met within two months, esp. we're not spending every day together? ironically for the first guy, who's slow, seemed perfect for me, but it won't work out either. i'm almost 30, i don't know when i'm going to meet the right person, pass thru all the mistakes i might make during dating/relationship (coz of my inexperiences) and finally get married and have a family.
Last edited by treeye; June 8,2009 at 6:24am.
 
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