doctors-professional ethics and dating


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jomarie is offline jomarie Post #1  June 7,2009, 2:06pm
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Okay, I have a question, especially directed to any doctors out there! I have an enormous crush on a doctor I recently met/became a patient of. He was incredibly kind and sweet to me, not to mention handsome, single, and age appropriate. He is very advanced in his career and a highly respected physician. I'm not good at flirting, but it's been a really long time since I've met anybody I've felt such a strong attraction to (both physically, and in terms of his personality). He has been so sweet and has made such an impression on me- yet I don't know for sure whether he is 'interested', or if he is just very good at 'bedside manner'. So my question to any doctors out there is: Have you ever been in a position where you wanted to date a patient, and if so, does professional ethics stop you from pursueing? He invited/recommended me to join an exercise class that he participates in, but it didn't work for me. I don't know if he likes me, or if he was just doing his job! As I am no longer in need of his services as a neurologist, I am wondering how I can ever see him again, and wishing he would have asked me out! Whenever I saw him as a patient, I didn't want to waste his professional time by asking personal questions, but I'm dieing to get to know him better. Any advice?
 
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Bandmate is offline Bandmate Post #2  June 7,2009, 2:15pm

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jomarie wrote :
Okay, I have a question, especially directed to any doctors out there! I have an enormous crush on a doctor I recently met/became a patient of. He was incredibly kind and sweet to me, not to mention handsome, single, and age appropriate. He is very advanced in his career and a highly respected physician. I'm not good at flirting, but it's been a really long time since I've met anybody I've felt such a strong attraction to (both physically, and in terms of his personality). He has been so sweet and has made such an impression on me- yet I don't know for sure whether he is 'interested', or if he is just very good at 'bedside manner'. So my question to any doctors out there is: Have you ever been in a position where you wanted to date a patient, and if so, does professional ethics stop you from pursueing? He invited/recommended me to join an exercise class that he participates in, but it didn't work for me. I don't know if he likes me, or if he was just doing his job! As I am no longer in need of his services as a neurologist, I am wondering how I can ever see him again, and wishing he would have asked me out! Whenever I saw him as a patient, I didn't want to waste his professional time by asking personal questions, but I'm dieing to get to know him better. Any advice?


My advice on dating a handsome succssesful Doctor..... take a number and get in line.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #3  June 7,2009, 2:33pm
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If this guy actually invited you to a gym where he works out, that's fairly interesting.

If you've become OCD about this, you might want to either call him up and leave him a voice mail saying that you're so-and-so, and you were wondering if, in a non-professional sense, he'd like to get coffee sometime. Or you can go the alternate route and go to his gym, but the phone call is easier.
 
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jomarie is offline jomarie Post #4  June 7,2009, 2:38pm
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Gee thanks, Bandmate
Trust me, that was my first thought as well! But he's been so sweet to me, I can't help but want more!
 
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Bandmate is offline Bandmate Post #5  June 7,2009, 3:20pm

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jomarie wrote :
Gee thanks, Bandmate
Trust me, that was my first thought as well! But he's been so sweet to me, I can't help but want more!

I know how you feel,my last girlfriend was a nurse and i couldn't get enough,it was the stories she told me about Doctors that motivated my reply to you.I wound up loosing her to a P.A....medical field lingo for Physician's assistant...how do you like that....but the guy worked alot of hours and made about 200,000 a year so i wasn't surprised....should we meet in any other discussion i'm a realist to a fault,gets me in trouble sometimes,but what can i say,that's who i am.....good luck with the Doc.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  June 7,2009, 3:34pm
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I nearly made the same comment Bandmate did.
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When_I_See_You_Smile is offline When_I_See_You_Smile Post #7  June 7,2009, 3:35pm
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Mr_Right wrote :
If this guy actually invited you to a gym where he works out, that's fairly interesting.

If you've become OCD about this, you might want to either call him up and leave him a voice mail saying that you're so-and-so, and you were wondering if, in a non-professional sense, he'd like to get coffee sometime. Or you can go the alternate route and go to his gym, but the phone call is easier.
I agree. Or, you could send him a hand-written thank you note, with a personal invitation, of course! Just tell him that he has made quite an impression on you, and that you would love an opportunity to get to know him on a personal level. I've tried this, and it works!

The bottom line here, is that if you're not his patient any longer, you have nothing to lose.

Best of luck! Let us know how it turns out.

WISYS
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #8  June 7,2009, 3:36pm
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You can bet that there is a whole passle of other patients mooning over him in the same way...lol. In professional jargon, this is called "transference."

It is, though, most certainly unethical for a physician to pursue or engage in a sexual relationship with a patient.

The AMA says: "Sexual contact that occurs concurrent with the physician-patient relationship constitutes sexual misconduct. Sexual or romantic interactions between physicians and patients detract from the goals of the physician-patient relationship, may exploit the vulnerability of the patient, may obscure the physician's objective judgment concerning the patient's health care, and ultimately may be detrimental to the patient's well-being.... Sexual or romantic relationships between a physician and a former patient may be unduly influenced by the previous physician-patient relationship. Sexual or romantic relationships with former patients are unethical if the physician uses or exploits trust, knowledge, emotions, or influence derived from the previous professional relationship."

Frankly, I would treat this as a fun "crush" and move on to a more appropriate match.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #9  June 7,2009, 3:44pm
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neardc wrote :
concurrent

Go for it!
 
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Jaqueisse is offline Jaqueisse Post #10  June 7,2009, 3:48pm
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I'm a male doc. It would be a breach of ethics to ask out a patient, which could have serious professional consequences. If you're not a patient anymore, ask him out. His "invite" may have had much more meaning than you suspect.
 
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