Not completing the transaction!!?!?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #1  June 7,2009, 4:19am
LavenderField…'s Avatar

is going to play w/RIF in NYC!

Community Leader Alum

Joined: Dec 2008

Lalaland

Posts: 1,076

See profile

I have realized lately that because summer is here, there seem to be more buzz with the bees and everybody is up and about and ready and willing to meet people, yeay!!

So, now that the dating 'season' is picking up I have noticed this trend of what I call "not completing the transaction".

Example, I went to an event and afterwards I shared the elevator with a nice man. We started talking and walking, he clearly seems interested. In ~15 minutes we had down where we were from, what were we doing in the area, some useless facts about us growing up, our religion (same), our jobs, etc. We were in the same wavelength. We end up at this pizza place and I have to leave to meet my friend at a restaurant (woman). So I excused myself and told him just that and he said "it was nice to meet you, hope to see you around".

Now, there is NO WAY you 'see around' a person in NYC, you barely see people you actually KNOW! I wasn't going to offer up my number and maybe he was just being friendly and polite. This has happened 3 times this last week.

My questions are:
1.- Do YOU (male or female) lead somebody on, to then not finish the transaction?
2.- Do you just like to flirt with no end in mind?
3.- Do you just do this because the weather is finally changing?

(This was an example, I a not asking for suggestions on this case, just wondering what is your opinion.)
 
  Reply With Quote
tbesq is offline tbesq Post #2  June 7,2009, 4:38am
tbesq's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,536

See profile

1.- Do YOU (male or female) lead somebody on, to then not finish the transaction? If done it before, but not maliciously.
2.- Do you just like to flirt with no end in mind? I don't necessarily like to flirt with no end in mind, but sometimes it does happen. Maybe I enjoy the conversation but am not truly interested in the woman, although I can clearly see she is interested in me.
3.- Do you just do this because the weather is finally changing? Not at all =)
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  June 7,2009, 4:57am
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

1.- Do YOU (male or female) lead somebody on, to then not finish the transaction?
 
  Reply With Quote
LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #4  June 7,2009, 5:17am
LavenderField…'s Avatar

is going to play w/RIF in NYC!

Community Leader Alum

Joined: Dec 2008

Lalaland

Posts: 1,076

See profile

Ha Ha D_Lion! We know that NYC is not necessarily the mecca of being polite/friendly to strangers.

I do agree, if within the conversation you see flags or asterisks then yes, do not finish the transaction.
 
  Reply With Quote
coffeegeek is offline coffeegeek Post #5  June 7,2009, 5:19am
coffeegeek's Avatar

You just can't be nice to some people ...

Veteran

Joined: Apr 2009

Posts: 1,045

See profile

LavenderFields wrote :
I wasn't going to offer up my number and maybe he was just being friendly and polite
Maybe he was thinking the same thing and is now off on some other message board complaining about some girl who wouldn't complete the transaction

LavenderFields wrote :
My questions are:
1.- Do YOU (male or female) lead somebody on, to then not finish the transaction?
I don't knowingly flirt with anyone I don't have interest in. Whether or not they provide enough signals to make me think I have a green light to "complete the transaction" is something entirely different.
LavenderFields wrote :
2.- Do you just like to flirt with no end in mind?
Practice makes perfect
LavenderFields wrote :
3.- Do you just do this because the weather is finally changing?
Love knows no season
 
  Reply With Quote
legend29 is offline legend29 Post #6  June 7,2009, 5:22am
legend29's Avatar

is upbeat and happy despite the smell of mendacity in the warm spring air!...:)

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2008

NY

Posts: 4,910

See profile

LavenderFields wrote :
I have realized lately that because summer is here, there seem to be more buzz with the bees and everybody is up and about and ready and willing to meet people, yeay!!

So, now that the dating 'season' is picking up I have noticed this trend of what I call "not completing the transaction".

Example, I went to an event and afterwards I shared the elevator with a nice man. We started talking and walking, he clearly seems interested. In ~15 minutes we had down where we were from, what were we doing in the area, some useless facts about us growing up, our religion (same), our jobs, etc. We were in the same wavelength. We end up at this pizza place and I have to leave to meet my friend at a restaurant (woman). So I excused myself and told him just that and he said "it was nice to meet you, hope to see you around".

Now, there is NO WAY you 'see around' a person in NYC, you barely see people you actually KNOW! I wasn't going to offer up my number and maybe he was just being friendly and polite. This has happened 3 times this last week.

My questions are:
1.- Do YOU (male or female) lead somebody on, to then not finish the transaction?
2.- Do you just like to flirt with no end in mind?
3.- Do you just do this because the weather is finally changing?

(This was an example, I a not asking for suggestions on this case, just wondering what is your opinion.)
Wow...that was some elevator ride!

But seriously, I am guilty of making small-talk with strangers. I am a very friendly person and it is totally innocent on my part. I am always surprised when they ask for my phone number, or offer their number. I never call back though...but if I were to meet someone that sparked my interest in a 'small-talk' situation, I would not hesitate for a minute!.

I think he was very interested in you, because you two did more then just 'small-talk' and he was probably waiting for you to ask him for his number or to offer yours. Some men like take-charge women, and then some men like to wait for the woman to offer because they know how skittish some of us are about meeting strangers and exchanging numbers. Maybe he was just shy...

BTW: I know NYC is a big place, but who knows...if you both travel in the same circles, you just may see him again. If you do, and find him still interesting...just wrestle him down and give him your #!
Last edited by legend29; June 7,2009 at 5:24am. Reason: misspelled words....I should never type before I've had my ginseng tea!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #7  June 7,2009, 5:50am
LavenderField…'s Avatar

is going to play w/RIF in NYC!

Community Leader Alum

Joined: Dec 2008

Lalaland

Posts: 1,076

See profile

I can see that Legend!! Youtalking to strangers!! But trust me.. lately I am not the one starting them!!

Read my post to D_Lion..

I am looking to see what is the general consensus.. and looks like "practicing their game" is a likely answer.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  June 7,2009, 6:27am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

1.- Do YOU (male or female) lead somebody on, to then not finish the transaction?
Not intentionally, but if your example is what you mean by this question then I guess I may have on occasion. Though unless a girl had spoken to me first it is unlikely that I would have approached her.

2.- Do you just like to flirt with no end in mind?
Only on the Advice boards.

3.- Do you just do this because the weather is finally changing?
No.
Last edited by Gr8Guyn2008; June 7,2009 at 6:28am. Reason: Formatting
 
  Reply With Quote
iNegotiate is offline iNegotiate Post #9  June 7,2009, 6:28am
iNegotiate's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 14

See profile

To me, if I'm talking with someone like that (and yes I may end up with small talk in the grocery store or anywhere else) - if it seems more than just chat, before I break away I might say "I wish I could chat more with you, but I need to leave now". That gives them the chance to ask for more info or not. I've gotten everything from "I go to church at xxx, or I shop here on Saturday afternoons to nice chatting too, have a great day".
 
  Reply With Quote
angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #10  June 7,2009, 6:54am
angelofmerci's Avatar

loves the feel of the wind blowing in his face while riding the curves

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 1,302

See profile

If God forbid I should find myself single again and I found myself in the scenario you drew I would definitely try to get the person's name and phone number so that I could pick up where we left off. Unfortunately as a teen and then young adult I was too naive to know when a girl was interested in me. She would have had to be wearing a sign saying she was interested in me before it sunk through my head.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Did he expect me to ask him out? | Dating | Why is it so hard to admit a mistake? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Most anyone has been there I imagine. My advice is: don't over think it, it's all a numbers game (more for some than others), focus on your happiness/life, and work on your market value.” –  Raw_Truth

Join the “Very discouraged.” discussion

“ I figured it had something to do with that "hair gel" that Cameron Diaz was using in the movie "There's Something About Mary"...” –  Shelby

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I used to do this in my youth. A couple relevant factors likely were that I broke up with them, they would have liked to re-engage and I had poor boundaries--desperately wanting to stay friends. ... ” –  EccentricAmbiguity

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion

“ You can also try saran wrapping your midsection for a few days. I've heard that works but I haven't tried it. If you do, please let us know how things go. . Lol!! Why don't you try it first ... ” –  EccentricAmbiguity

Join the “Belly Fat” discussion

“Trust your gut feelings! It seems to me his friend does not have a sense of boundaries and it seems that your boyfriend is doing nothing to discourage his constant annoying interference in your ... ” –  elliechris

Join the “When is friendship a problem” discussion

“Lol yeah I do hope so. Thanks again! ” –  elyone

Join the “Profile Review please 25/F” discussion

“Jenky & PSG, you two are so great! I'm loving following your story! I admire you both for being brave enough to try this. LDRs are hard no matter how you look at it. It requires a significant ... ” –  singinggirl

Join the “My Virtual Relationship or The five day first date” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:33pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0