Waiting for that first date.


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stevenvictx is offline stevenvictx Post #1  June 3,2009, 7:10pm
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How long have people been on this site dating before ever getting a actual date?

I'm going on month # 4
------------------------------------
I wonder maybe if........

I'm too ugly, and need to get a copy of playgirl, cut out the upper body half and use it. Then when we meet just say I was in a terrible car accident.

My profile reminds woman too much of a infomercial......For the clapper 3.0

I need to tell them I was recently bailed out by obama for being to big to fail.

My profile is in the lesbian section.

This site is run like Hollywood, there is a A-class section who pay for all the extras, get real people who actually exists, and there's the B class section for those who are cheap,and are matched with people who are the leftovers who may or may not be alive.
 
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christianlife is offline christianlife Post #2  June 3,2009, 7:24pm
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I joined in February and have yet to have a single date from Eharmony.I joined POF a few weeks ago and have had two dates from that site and lots of interest from others on the site.
I also joined a Christian dating site.

I'm being patient with Eharmony because, from what I've read,sometimes it takes awhile to actually get through all the stages and to an actual date.I would suggest to you,while you are waiting for an Eharmony date, to join a few other sites.There was a post on here, awhile back, from somebody that belonged to 4 different sites and met his love on one of those sites(I don't think it was Eharmony;I think it was a Christian site)If he would have only relied on Eharmony;he wouldn't have met his honey.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #3  June 4,2009, 6:58am
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Unfortunately your experience is the norm. I average about one date per year from EH.

Do you have a female friend that can look at your pictures and read your About Me profile and give you honest feedback?

If you go to the Using EH forum here, you can post your About Me profile and the members here will definitely give you a critique.

Other standard suggestions: Open up your matching distance by one zone. Up your age limit by a year. Can you decrease the important of any of the "Black&White" questions? Can you add any more acceptable answers for the B&W questions?
 
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Icarus_rw is offline Icarus_rw Post #4  June 4,2009, 10:33am
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stevenvictx wrote :
I wonder maybe if........

I'm too ugly, and need to get a copy of playgirl, cut out the upper body half and use it. Then when we meet just say I was in a terrible car accident.

My profile reminds woman too much of a infomercial......For the clapper 3.0

I need to tell them I was recently bailed out by obama for being to big to fail.

My profile is in the lesbian section.

This site is run like Hollywood, there is a A-class section who pay for all the extras, get real people who actually exists, and there's the B class section for those who are cheap,and are matched with people who are the leftovers who may or may not be alive.

Internet gold in my opinion! I literally fell out of my chair laughing! I'm really an off and oner and I've found it has taken me into my 3rd month with eHarmony to actually get to Open Communication with someone. I tend to have a lot of women sent to me who I believe no longer are on the site but forgot to hit the little radio button:

"No, please do not send me new matches until I say otherwise"

Or I get those that I know have viewed my profile yet never seem to want to communicate, or just plain forget to close me out. I usually take the initiative after some time and close them out. I figure they're probably busy with some ex football/basketball player. I often wonder though if all the women in my box are all going after the same guy. That makes me giggle inside because I figure well, only one of them can get him. Then I start to think maybe I am that left over.

But yeah I totally hear yah bud. I've read my profile over and over again and it does sound like an infomerical as well. But that is what we are trying to do right, sell ourselves? I would say be patient, you never know, you might wake up tomorrow and see that you have an email communication from a woman that in the end, totally completes your world!

~I
Last edited by Icarus_rw; June 4,2009 at 10:37am.
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #5  June 4,2009, 12:03pm

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i think i waited about that long to get a match from my own state...
 
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dreamingartist is offline dreamingartist Post #6  June 4,2009, 12:18pm
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I am in open communication with 4 or 5 but no dates. I've laid the groundwork, hey lets meet up, give me the #, etc... but they go 1 or 2 weeks between writing in open communication. very slow. I've had more luck approaching women in public but all you get with that are psychos. It's hard to quality a woman in a bar. You can't shop for champagne in the beer isle, but you can get beer alot easier than champagne.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #7  June 4,2009, 8:58pm
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I know a guy that is on his second year with eH and hasn't been on a date, but he has been on and off on the past two years from what I gather and has standards that I don't know how any person could match. As for me, I have been on eHarmony since February, no dates yet but I paid for a year and am optimistic that I will find someone before the end of the year. I am also on Chemistry and POF (though POF is such an annoying site). I am on OkCupid but rarely visit it. My point, perhaps try some other dating sites, too?
 
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s77 is offline s77 Post #8  June 4,2009, 9:28pm
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Great post - I've wondered a lot about the same thing.

I've reached open communication with a handful of guys over the past couple months, and been on a couple dates, but the majority seem to fizzle. We've reached the point of saying "Let's meet up" (usually initiated by him) and then when I say "Ok, I'm free this day or that" there's no response. Seriously guys, what's the deal?? We're all here to meet people and while chatting online is fine and necessary for a bit, I'm not looking for a pen pal here.

Why are guys so hesitant to meet in person?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  June 5,2009, 6:52am
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Hmm, given the loser that I am I seem to be doing really well against most of the other posters

I was on eHarmony 7 1/2 months before I got the first match to communicate. It was maybe 9 or 10 months before a match agreed to meet. But now that I have been on eHarmony for about 1 1/2 years and started to get matches that communicate and even some that are not still so scared and unsure of themselves to meet I do get more than one date a year from eHarmony.

Just an aside referencing some of the other posts relative to other sites. Match, over 600 girls contacted 4 first dates in a year. Yahoo! Personals, 1 first date in six months. POF, have had no communication in about 9 months on the site.
 
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alex751 is offline alex751 Post #10  June 5,2009, 7:41am
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This topic has been discussed in earlier threads.

For eHarmony, one of the critical factors for whether you get a lot of matches is geography. In my current location, which is a college town that has more women than men, I've been on the site for 3 months now and have gone to open communication with 18 women.

I tried the site a few years ago where I used to live and rarely made it to OC with any of my matches.
 
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