Waiting for that first date.


Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Icarus_rw is offline Icarus_rw Post #11  June 5,2009, 9:57am
Icarus_rw's Avatar

is almost not single.

Quick Study

Joined: Nov 2008

Chicago

Posts: 141

See profile

s77 wrote :
Great post - I've wondered a lot about the same thing.

I've reached open communication with a handful of guys over the past couple months, and been on a couple dates, but the majority seem to fizzle. We've reached the point of saying "Let's meet up" (usually initiated by him) and then when I say "Ok, I'm free this day or that" there's no response. Seriously guys, what's the deal?? We're all here to meet people and while chatting online is fine and necessary for a bit, I'm not looking for a pen pal here.

Why are guys so hesitant to meet in person?
Ha! I'm looking at 18 women that I've initiated communication with. Two of which I'm at phase 3 with, 1 I've lost hope on. The other might have some potential. The reason I've initiated with these women is mostly because I liked their profiles and I just hate to have them just sit in my box, also, my subscription is about to end and I'm kind of looking for something to keep me on here. So, s77 it's just not the guys, it goes both ways!

I'm tempted to not renew my subscription and to not click that little radio button that tells eHarmony to not send me any new matches so the other side can suffer with a non responder. Kidding.

~I
 
  Reply With Quote
Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #12  June 5,2009, 10:31am
Oregon_Coast_…'s Avatar

We're one of a kind, like dip di-dip di-dip, doo-bop a doo-bee doo

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

OR

Posts: 2,405

See profile

You are only going to be as successful on the internet as you are in real life. It's all aobut who you are as a person, how you present yourself, how you look, etc.
 
  Reply With Quote
loislane is offline loislane Post #13  June 5,2009, 12:59pm
loislane's Avatar

is so very, very tired of writer's block.

Newbie

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 34

See profile

Icarus_rw wrote :
Ha! I'm looking at 18 women that I've initiated communication with. Two of which I'm at phase 3 with, 1 I've lost hope on.
Obviously I'm doing something wrong. Two men have actually been interested in communication, one made it to open communication and then nothing.
And I keep getting matched with bikers.....there's nothing wrong with bikers per se, but I'm thinking I must've answered those personality profile questions wrong....
 
  Reply With Quote
eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #14  June 5,2009, 2:40pm

Moderator

Joined: Sep 2008

Pasadena, California

Posts: 1,814

See profile

Very funny, Stevenvictx,

At the same time, sorry that you're still waiting. It might help to know that when you join eHarmony, you’re really not joining a dating site, but a relationship site.

The whole approach lends itself to fewer dates through Guided Communication. It’s really a process of elimination. The intention behind it is that, if possible, it’s better to cut things off with someone who has less potential sooner rather than later. So if somewhere along the stages of communication one of you determines that it’s not a match based on the answers you’re getting, you can end the communication before you get too involved. This sets you both free to pursue more promising candidates.

As you alluded too, though, it would be nice to get the right person in communication sooner rather than later, given that they show up in your matches. You might want to contact our Customer Care department and see if they have any insights to help open your match settings or enhance your profile: http://help-singles.eharmony.com/
Also, there are some threads over in the Using eHarmony section dedicated to helping members get feedback on each question of the About Me page. So far, 4 of the questions are being covered. In fact, the Community Manager, Lori, just started a new thread:

What you’re most passionate about:
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/sh...ad.php?t=24399

What you’re most thankful for:
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/sh...ad.php?t=24755

Who was the most influential person in your life and why:
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/sh...ad.php?t=25135

What is the quality that you’re looking for in a partner?
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/sh...ad.php?t=25503 (eHarmony Profile Workshop: Question 6: What is the most important quality you seek in another?)

Hope things turn around!

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
  Reply With Quote
eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #15  June 5,2009, 2:53pm

Moderator

Joined: Sep 2008

Pasadena, California

Posts: 1,814

See profile

Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :
You are only going to be as successful on the internet as you are in real life. It's all aobut who you are as a person, how you present yourself, how you look, etc.
I don’t know if this is always true, Oregon_Coast_Guy –

Meeting people online requires some different skills than meeting people in person. Of course, the skill-sets do overlap – especially when it comes to actually communicating with the person in “real life”.

Meeting someone online requires, for example, learning how to present your profile in a way that is appealing and reflects reality. And optimizing your settings has more to do with knowing the ins and outs of how eHarmony specifically works. Some people who have an easy time meeting “just anybody” on the fly feel more challenged when it comes to the intentionality of eHarmony. Likewise, some who have found it tough to make romantic connections "out there" flourish and come into their own on eHarmony.

Either way, we’re dedicated to helping people get the most out of their eHarmony experience.

All the best,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
  Reply With Quote
bwr is offline bwr Post #16  June 5,2009, 3:13pm
bwr's Avatar

wants to become relevant again

Enthusiast

Joined: Oct 2008

AZ

Posts: 591

See profile

Its best to try other sites along with eH. This is what I do. I seem to get 1 date every 2 months with eH. When I started eH, I only got 1 date per year. Its all in the profile and how you display your pics. You just have to experiment around and discover what works for you. It just takes trial and error and time.
 
  Reply With Quote
bwr is offline bwr Post #17  June 5,2009, 3:15pm
bwr's Avatar

wants to become relevant again

Enthusiast

Joined: Oct 2008

AZ

Posts: 591

See profile

Bottom line is I can now get more first dates no problem, but I am not getting any quality dates this year that go any further than 1 meeting.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Fate... is there such a thing? | Dating | people being upset over topics of posts »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
How much physical contact is appropriate for a first date? JustSomeGuy12 Dating 158 October 15,2011 7:55am
My date yesterday-Not exactly the best! christianlife Dating 40 October 26,2009 6:31pm
Do I go on the date or trust my gut? Seriousminded 40 plus singles 18 September 5,2009 7:44pm
To Date or Not To Date 4ever29 Relationships 2 May 18,2009 8:50am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Most anyone has been there I imagine. My advice is: don't over think it, it's all a numbers game (more for some than others), focus on your happiness/life, and work on your market value.” –  Raw_Truth

Join the “Very discouraged.” discussion

“ I figured it had something to do with that "hair gel" that Cameron Diaz was using in the movie "There's Something About Mary"...” –  Shelby

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I used to do this in my youth. A couple relevant factors likely were that I broke up with them, they would have liked to re-engage and I had poor boundaries--desperately wanting to stay friends. ... ” –  EccentricAmbiguity

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion

“ You can also try saran wrapping your midsection for a few days. I've heard that works but I haven't tried it. If you do, please let us know how things go. . Lol!! Why don't you try it first ... ” –  EccentricAmbiguity

Join the “Belly Fat” discussion

“Trust your gut feelings! It seems to me his friend does not have a sense of boundaries and it seems that your boyfriend is doing nothing to discourage his constant annoying interference in your ... ” –  elliechris

Join the “When is friendship a problem” discussion

“Lol yeah I do hope so. Thanks again! ” –  elyone

Join the “Profile Review please 25/F” discussion

“Jenky & PSG, you two are so great! I'm loving following your story! I admire you both for being brave enough to try this. LDRs are hard no matter how you look at it. It requires a significant ... ” –  singinggirl

Join the “My Virtual Relationship or The five day first date” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:18pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0