mutiple dates, no questions asked about me


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treeye is offline treeye Post #1  June 3,2009, 7:30am
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i start to like this guy, he seemed interested, but what's bothering me most is he doesn't ask me many questions. i'd hope he ask about the places i lived at or the school i went to, or my family, but generally, no.

it has been four dates. he's not outgoing type.

is it because it's his conversation style or is it because he's not interested in me as a person? should i try talking about myself more, giving more time or should i see it as a red flag ? thanks.
 
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treeye is offline treeye Post #2  June 3,2009, 7:33am
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ps. he did ask about what i like to do for fun, what food i like; that's about all.
 
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ursusamericanus is offline ursusamericanus Post #3  June 3,2009, 7:34am
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Talk about yourself! It's expected of us women anyways.

You might try asking leading questions. Ask him where he's lived then add in "that's great I use to live...wherever."
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  June 3,2009, 7:36am
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You said it yourself - he is not the outgoing type, which means that you will need to lead the conversations and that he is probably too reserved to ask you too many personal questions.
 
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Bearwolf102 is offline Bearwolf102 Post #5  June 3,2009, 8:00am
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Dear treeye,
He is either shy which would make sense on the first couple of dates for some folks. Or he isn’t good in conversation. Or perhaps he isn’t paying attention to your feelings. He is monologing rather than dialoging. If the conversation is always about him or swings to him he may not be interested in you for you. I would be careful here. It sounds like he is not providing an opening on purpose. This is generally considered rude behavior. If he likes you he should be getting to know you. He should be asking questions and more importantly listening for your answers. He should be open to your questions as well.
If he doesn’t listen to you or seems disinterested…stay away from this one.
Best,
Bearwolf102
 
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Ylog is offline Ylog Post #6  June 3,2009, 8:16am

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What does he talk about? Does he open ANY conversational threads at all? If he doesn't open any conversational threads then you are the one who is doing all the work and no wonder you like him. You have worked so hard for him and are invested heavily into him.

What he does talk about is a good indication of what a person is.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  June 3,2009, 12:22pm
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You have not provided information on several areas.
1. If he is just not talking much at all then he could just be shy and not a very good conversationalist. This would not necessarily be a red flag, you would need to determine how you feel about this. If you are comfortable with him not being very talkative then no problem.
2. If he is only talking about himself then that would be a red flag that he is self centered.
3. If he seems to be generally talkative but just is not asking you about yourself then he may just not be that interested in you.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #8  June 3,2009, 1:02pm
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I'm not sure if i asked this before, but WHY do you like this guy?

I'm not saying he's a bad guy. There are just people that aren't meant for one another.

I ask because I want you to think about the question. Do you like him because of who he is OR, do you like him because its better than being alone?
 
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treeye is offline treeye Post #9  June 4,2009, 5:16am
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en. of course i like him. i like his character, his honesty, his hard working. and there're a lot of chemistry there too.

i'm just having some doubts, i guess it's normal? at this point, i'm thinking maybe he's not good at interacting with people, which is ok; but maybe he's not interested in me as a person, but only time can tell, right?


Dafearon wrote :
I'm not sure if i asked this before, but WHY do you like this guy?

I'm not saying he's a bad guy. There are just people that aren't meant for one another.

I ask because I want you to think about the question. Do you like him because of who he is OR, do you like him because its better than being alone?
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #10  June 4,2009, 6:14am

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The missing word is "compatibility". When two people meet and one or both can almost finish the other sentence or thoughts is compatibility.
When someone lacks a sense of intuitiveness with you it generally means that they are not self aware or tuned into your emotional side. Thus your spinning your wheels.

I would sit down and make a list of questions that you would like to know the answer to and you should e mail it to him, to see if you can open the compatibility doorway. I would ask him to do the same for you, to answer and tell him no topic is off limit. See what kind of response that you get? If it's a disappointment move on and don't waste your time.

Harvey7
 
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