Santocomet is offline Santocomet Post #1  June 2,2009, 7:27pm
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This is my first post on this board.
I just would like to ask the experts what do they think of this situation.

I've starting hanging out with an friend of mien whom i met a couple of years ago. We didn't really talk but we met through a friend and just recently we started talking and hanging out a lot more.
I went to fix her computer at her house, She lives with her mom and sister. She tells me how much her mother loves me. This being the first time i met her mother. Her mother thinks I'm handsome and very ambitious. She cooks for me that night and we go out for some coffee. At the end of the night we plan to see movie the following friday and then she gives me a peck on the lips. I take this as a good sign.

That monday she had an issue with her computer and she needs it for work. So I go that night and fix her issue. We chat for 2 hours and left at 12am. She walked with me to my car, pecked me on the lips again. I felt a bit courageous so I grab her hand as she walked away brign her close and proceed to kiss her. I maybe 3 kisses in, not open mouth, but partly open. She pushes me away slowly tells me that she hasn't kissed anyoen since her Ex and its weird. I aplogize for being so forward. She tells me it's ok and she values our friendship right now and she needs time to herself. She says she needs time to move on and she doens't want to do to anyone that was done to her.
I wasn't sure if she was letting me down nicely or what.

We hung out twice after that, going to movies, going to eat and etc. we have plans to go eat this friday.

The part that is driving m e crazy is, what side am I on? Am I in the dreaded friend zone? Or am I a potential? I have tons of patiences for people but not for myself. and I would wait for her to be ready to pursue something further only if this isn't a foolish errand or pipe dream.

Any suggestions... If you atually read the long post lol.
 
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chibrook is offline chibrook Post #2  June 3,2009, 2:45am
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I assume you're with the daughter - although to read your post in the beginning I wondered if it was the mother lol. You've gone out to eat and to a movie since the "kiss that was not returned". Did you pay? Did she give you a peck on the lips then? When you see her Friday, you just have to tell her you're not interested in "hanging out", and if that's all she wants now - you're going to step back and give her her space for a while to get over her ex. Put it on her to come to you when she's ready to actually date. Otherwise, I think you're just setting yourself up for a broken heart - she'll use you as long as you're willing to "just hang out".
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #3  June 3,2009, 4:12am
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My advice is to believe what people tell you, much easier than trying to decipher the signs I assume you are both adults, she told you she wasn't ready for more than friendship with you, and she didn't ask you to wait. If I was interested but not ready, I would at least ask you to give me some time. She didn't. It is now up to you to decide whether you want to put your life on hold, stick around and wait until she becomes ready. Even when that happens, there is no guarantee that she'll want to date you, but your chances are certainly better if you are around. Sorry to be so blunt. I would recommend to move on, date other women, stay friends with her if you want. There may come a time in the future when you are both single, ready and interested in each other. It doesn't appear that now is that time
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #4  June 3,2009, 6:22am
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Do not put your life on hold. Don't kid yourself here. There is nothing wrong with being around her, but there something wrong if you're around her just waiting for her to come around. She might do that, she might not.

You should see it for what it is. She may want to "date", because friends don't really kiss like that, BUT don't look farther than that. Don't expect more and don't hold back with other people.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  June 3,2009, 6:54am
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She was actually being perfectly honest with you. She is not yet over her ex and not ready to move on and date. You are essentially the rebound material - the friend, the company, the support system, the slightly more than friend but not much, someone to fill the void on a lonely night. The problem with all of that is that when she is done and ready to move on, she is unlikely to stay with you. Sorry to be blunt but most likely you are just a crutch to help her get over the breakup.

So, wise thing to do would be to give her the space and to move on and date other people. If you happen to be single and she happens to be over her ex and the two of you still want to try and date at some point down the road, great. If not, you are probably dating someone else anyway. Whatever you do, don't hang around and wait for while putting your life on hold.
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #6  June 3,2009, 7:01am

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oh i got it. she leads you on by giving you pecks on the cheek so that you'll fix her computer for free rather then her having to take it to best buy and pay for it.

she's good. she even got you to buy her meals and pay for her movies
 
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