Are men really that simple?

I am probably too sensitive on this stuff, but I can't help feeling that men want the ideal in looks, and discount everything else: education, career, stability in mental health. I can understand not wanting poor health or hygiene, but after 3 kids and not being a runner, middle age happens! It would be like me saying I can't stand a man without hair or I must have a man who is very attractive by conventional standards. Women never say things like that, but men do.

I was probably a bit challenging when I asked about these 2 items. As a nurse, I asked if he himself was a BMI of 18-24 (normal wt according to the charts in my office) or if he just expected that in a mate . I am a 27 on that chart, which is technically overweight, and judging from his pictures at age 55, he probably carried a bit over too.

I am probably too sensitive on this stuff, but I can't help feeling that men want the ideal in looks, and discount everything else: education, career, stability in mental health. I can understand not wanting poor health or hygiene, but after 3 kids and not being a runner, middle age happens! It would be like me saying I can't stand a man without hair or I must have a man who is very attractive by conventional standards. Women never say things like that, but men do.

And to beat all, he says he "can't stand" a woman who flirts with other men! What would he expect to get if he has a very attractive woman who is not overweight at age 50-55? A woman who knows she looks darn good and likes the attention of men!

Is this just one guy, or is it the gender? And just to set the record straight, I am told I am an attractive woman, but certainly not photogenic or attractive in a movie star way - I look much younger than my age with no wrinkles, but I am about 20 pounds over the charts and wear a size 14. Looks are just a tiny part of who I am.

Yes the vast majority of men ARE that simple. As in they will mostly go for looks and when they find someone that looks better than you that will have them, they will mostly dump you like a hot potato.

The answer? Use their own standards to judge them. If they are middle aged, only of average appearance and in your opinion, overweight, then why overlook those faults? Women constantly make this simple mistake. They look beyond the appearance hoping to find something more beautiful on the inside. Unfortunately it rarely exists. And now you're stuck with a very average to ugly man who also treats you like rubbish. What's the point?

That kind of stuff will just mess up your self esteem. As a woman it's very important to insist on the whole package...a pleasing appearance AND a beautiful personality. To settle for anything less is to invite disaster on the relationship front.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking you need a partner to have a fulfilling life. You absolutely don't. And having a disappointing relationship will erode your life experience more quickly than anything else. In the vast majority of cases you will be happier and better off financially alone than in a cr*p relationship. Why does no-one ever tell women that being solo in life is a GOOD option...?