Is LizziePooh ready to date?


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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #1  June 1,2009, 6:46pm

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Ok, folks...I want to know if you think I am ready to date again.


As many of you know, I have taken a break from dating. I have been single for two years - I dated the first year and took a break the second year. Prior to being single, I was in a relationship with a man for eight years. It did not work out...obviously. I think I am over him, I was not sure - hence the break. But I think I am there. Do you guys think so?

You guys know the most of what is in my head from what I write. Do you think I am ready to date?



Disclaimer - Feel free to just tell it like it is, it is really hard me to take offense. I have pretty thick skin to some things.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #2  June 1,2009, 6:51pm
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Lizzie, I think you are definitely ready to at least get your feet wet. It's not like you're instantly jumping into a committed relationship. There will be more time before you get to that point with anyone, even if you had the fortune of meeting someone compatible really quickly.

Wanna go speed dating with me some time?
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #3  June 1,2009, 6:52pm

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yes. but I think I have said as much before. It is considerate and smart of you to deal with your previous relationship before dating.

But I think its a crime to keep yourself out of the dating pool much longer

Most men I date (and I'm sure women too, but I don't date thme) don't even bother to wait.....in fact most people I'm pretty sure are fairly careless about the baggage they take into the dating pool.

You have definitley set yourself apart in a good way. To wait much longer would be hurtful to you and not helpful, in my opinion.

I have taken long breaks as well. At some point, it becomes more habit than anything and hard to get back into, can even be hard to relate to people again.

I have read that men jump into new things again too quickly and that women tend to wait too long.

I think yo are on the verge of waiting too long.

And you always have me here to keep dating tabs with, and share horror stories, fun stories, happy stories, sad stories....lol.
 
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EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #4  June 1,2009, 6:55pm
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And I personally believe that dating helps one move on even faster.

So go for it and stop depriving some lucky guy from being with you
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #5  June 1,2009, 7:09pm
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Yes...you have always seemed level-headed and balanced to me. You don't hide your heart. You don't spew your emotions all over the place. You have a strong sense of who you are and that has held true over the time I've posted with you here.

Get out there and go, Lizzie. We're here for backup if you need us.
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #6  June 1,2009, 7:14pm
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LizziePooh wrote :
I think I am over him, I was not sure - hence the break. But I think I am there. Do you guys think so?
If you have to ask others, you're not ready.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #7  June 1,2009, 7:20pm

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You guys are being too nice. Don't you ever think sometimes, there goes Lizzie again about her ex?? He! He! Sometimes, I think to myself is this normal? Is this healthy?

I don't know what it is about this place but I share things here with you guys that I really never even touch on with my friends in real life. It is very nice.

And to be fair to the boys here, I jumped as quickly as I could back in dating and then jumped as quickly back out. But sometimes I think, if I had just met one guy that really got my engine going I would be a lot further along in this process.LOL Who says rebounds are a bad thing?

And I am curious if anyone disagrees and believes that I am still hung-up on my ex.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #8  June 1,2009, 7:23pm

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ThePriestess wrote :
If you have to ask others, you're not ready.
See, that is a really good point. TP'ism at its' finest - short and sweet.

But sometimes I think I am just going to have to accept the fact that I loved a man and probably always will in some way. Does that mean I am not ready or is that just a fact of life? It will always be there and it can be there and I can be ready to move on. Yes??
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #9  June 1,2009, 7:26pm
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LizziePooh wrote :
And I am curious if anyone disagrees and believes that I am still hung-up on my ex.
Well, I think from what I've read you post before, and from when we've talked at the M&Gs, that I would not say that you are still hung up on your ex.

I would say that you had a long history together....8 years is a long time and you did fall in love. That is tough to get over, but I think you can and still talk about someone who was such a significant part of your life for the better part of the last decade. You shouldn't act like those years didn't exist...I think that would be a worse sign--it would probably mean you haven't been able to deal with it and move forward. The fact that you talk about him in a way that analyzes your relationship says to me that you've processed it, and you've learned from it.

Come on Lizzie, stick your toe in the pool.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #10  June 1,2009, 7:28pm

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lizzie, from what you have told me I don't think you are hung up on your ex. I think you are a typical female that worries too much about things that other people are really careless about. (which is a sign you are a good person)

For example. I was like you. I wanted to do this RIGHT! Yet, I hardly meet men that can measure up to my standards because they don't seem to care... I just get frustrated because they don't put thought into these things at all....every now and then I meet someone great that cares enough to think ahead, about relationships and to truly make room in his life for somoene like me, but more often than not I find people, men in particular (as those are what I date) just are not thinking this deeply about relationships.

I started to feel that all my effort to be the best I can be and to keep my head and heart clear while noble....isn't even that appreciated and it can lead to frustration because few men measure up in this area. (end of that rant).

As for your ex. How could you not be a tad hung up on someone you see at work and still occasionally have friendly conversations with? It's normal! You were together for a long time.

Dating will help if you let it. Don't force anything. You will have bad dates that make you miss the ex more. You will have dates that make your ex look like a monkey. Then you will know its all worthwhile.

I promise

Just never force anything, and go out with people that seem interesting....some will grow on you and some wont.

The bald guy I was writing about the other day from match.com is seriously growing on me now and I can't wait to hear back from him. It's weird how at first someone is just so new and different....like a space alien and I can't picture being with them but something about them makes me tune in.....and a few of those become major crushes I didn't see coming....just like the last guy, I never thought I'd be getting over him!
 
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