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zal zal is offline
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zal is nurturing his evil side...

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If you are not happy single, you probably won't be happy as a couple.
- June 1st, 2009, 03:34 pm
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Lostintranslation lives in Florida - I was just at the pool. In October!

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Hold me!
- June 1st, 2009, 03:37 pm
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bravethestorm 10/10/09 Engaged to eharmony match

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curious_girl wrote :
Is it so bad? Could we not be happy?
I don't think anyone knows what the future holds so it's more important to be happy with the "right now". For me, I've seen people that hope a SO will make them happy and it might temporarily but not long term. Two happy people that also make each other happy are a good match. In that case, the expectation that someone will make them happy isn't needed and therefore appreciated as a bonus.

So for me...I'm not willing to settle and if that means being happy with being single I'm ok with that. I think it comes down to the personality type you are though if you feel more of a need to be in a couple. For me I'm an introvert and enjoy my independence as much as I enjoy my time with others.
- June 1st, 2009, 03:45 pm
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Hold me!
ok, just run interference with ccm for me...

;-)
- June 1st, 2009, 03:47 pm
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curious_girl wrote :
Seriously.

What if the mediocre relationships we've all had are the best we're ever going to get?

What if we don't want to settle for mediocrity and so we remain single; dating as an interesting person presents themselves and amusing ourselves when they don't?

Is it so bad? Could we not be happy?
That was a great movie.

And if this is as good as it gets? I am ecstatically happy. I love my life, and am grateful for every minute of it.
- June 1st, 2009, 03:58 pm
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littlebluemonkeymind meh

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Hold me!
Back or down, dear friend?
- June 1st, 2009, 03:58 pm
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4getmenot wrote :
"Hope is the most exciting thing in life and if you honestly believe that love is out there, it will come. Even if it doesn't come straight away there is still that chance all through your life that it will"
absolutely! 1,000,000,000+
- June 1st, 2009, 04:10 pm
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I'm always seem to be the one that believes that we ALWAYS settle. It depends on what you are settling on, that defines things.

If you are settling for someone you don't love, but don't want to be alone, don't settle. You're settling for too little, so to speak. But honestly, if you're settling for a teacher, who will never make as much as you expect, but love him dearly, then that too is settling. You are settling your financial expectations. One is perfectly fine, while the other is not.

The question you have to ask yourself is this. Will you be happy for the rest of your life? If the answer is a true to heart "no", then move on. But if the answer is a true to heart "yes", then what does it matter if you are "settling".
- June 1st, 2009, 04:30 pm
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pinz is away for a bit ... HAVE FUN.

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I've been thinknig about this recently too .. I've always felt 'happy' with my Self, yet I have increasingly noticed a growing 'restlessness', especially in relation to men.

It was gently pointed out to me that there is no such thing as 'perfection' ... I do actually KNOW this to be TRUE, and YET, I have been extremely fortunate to have grown up in a loving family where it was OBVIOUS that my parents loved each other. And that's the 'bar', that's what I'm LOOKING and AIMING for. It may be that in 'this day and age' the kind of depth of feeling my parents had for each other is a thing of the past. To be sure, the nature of 'coupling' and relationships is very different today. My dad was not a 'player', he was a gentleman, truly, a gentle man, and my mum equally was not a 'player'. Dad was the first man she slept with. They got married, wanted children and had a family together. They never looked twice at anyone else. It is SO DIFFERENT these days ...

It may be silly of me, but I CONTINUE to wait it out ... Men come, men go ... and I KNOW I have NOT 'met' HIM - yet.

But I have HOPE yet.

I think my increased 'restlessness' is kind of a 'filtering' or 'editing' system. I've SEEN a LOT and just don't have the patience for the shenanigans like I once did. Meaning, the 'guy' who 'gets it', is going to have to have a level of maturity and experience, a kind of 'worldliness', from the get-go ... That sadly and easily eliminates over 60% these days. imho.

Seriously.

Hope this self-observation helps.
- June 1st, 2009, 04:57 pm
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curious_girl wrote :
What if the mediocre relationships we've all had are the best we're ever going to get?
I suggest everyone find happiness in the moment, regardless of their relationship status.
- June 1st, 2009, 05:15 pm
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