Why "wait for him to call"?


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islandrain80 is offline islandrain80 Post #1  June 1,2009, 11:57am
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So...there's the question. It could go both ways...if a guy doesn't call the woman might think he's not interested. If the woman doesn't call, might he think she's not interested?

I understand some men want to chase, do you think that's across the board (different cultures, nationalities, etc?)
 
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coffeegeek is offline coffeegeek Post #2  June 1,2009, 12:11pm
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islandrain80 wrote :
So...there's the question. It could go both ways...if a guy doesn't call the woman might think he's not interested. If the woman doesn't call, might he think she's not interested?

I understand some men want to chase, do you think that's across the board (different cultures, nationalities, etc?)
If you're interested in the other person, does it matter who contacts who? I'm not sure about everyone else, but I'm usually more caught up in "oh there's this new person, they're great, and this seems to be going somewhere" over sticking to traditional rules and such silliness. If you like him, call him. The worst that can happen is you find out he's not interested and you can move on. The best would be he is interested and now the ball is in his court to reciprocate
 
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Bearwolf102 is offline Bearwolf102 Post #3  June 1,2009, 12:20pm
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I agree with coffeegeek though traditionally the man should pursue perhaps he is shy. The worst that can happen is you find out he isn’t interested.

Have a great one,
Bearwolf102
 
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4getmenot is offline 4getmenot Post #4  June 1,2009, 12:46pm

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Forget the gender...you are interested you call.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #5  June 1,2009, 12:52pm
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4getmenot wrote :
Forget the gender...you are interested you call.
Right On
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  June 1,2009, 4:59pm
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4getmenot wrote :
Forget the gender...you are interested you call.
+1
Been saying this a long time and many of the women are still reluctant to initiate anything. So sad.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #7  June 1,2009, 5:09pm
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There are a few ways this could play out. If the woman offers her number and the man accepts it (the reverse happens all the time), he may or may not use it. He's not wrong if he doesn't decide to call -- she initiated it. This happens often in the reverse, and in many cases (as I understand it) women usually don't call. If he asks for the number and she gives it to him, the onus should be on him to call. If both man and woman exchange numbers, I think that cancels out any "obligation" on the man's part -- either one could initiate a phone call.

I'm not going to fight the common belief that the man should initiate, although I don't think it's a mandate. The common reason for this, as I understand it, is "so that I know he's interested"... as if whether the woman is interested in him means nothing. I think the only time the onus is on the man to make the call is if he asked for the number. And when I say the onus is on him, it doesn't mean he has to call...after all, it's a free country. But hypothetically if you had to blame some for a relationship not getting off the ground in that situation, it would be him.
 
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coffeegeek is offline coffeegeek Post #8  June 1,2009, 5:11pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
+1
Been saying this a long time and many of the women are still reluctant to initiate anything. So sad.
I keep sayin', this place needs a community maintained wiki.
 
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lenemngk is offline lenemngk Post #9  June 1,2009, 5:28pm
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Well... If I'm really interested, I won't just sit there and wait. I will call. I don't see a point in following obsolete dating rules. Like coffeegeek pointed out, "The worst that can happen is you find out he's not interested and you can move on. The best would be he is interested and now the ball is in his court to reciprocate."

If a gal makes the first move, it doesn't mean she's desperate
 
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islandrain80 is offline islandrain80 Post #10  June 2,2009, 6:18am
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Tried calling last night. The number I had was disconnected. So I sent him an email on the dating site. Being nosy I checked this morning if he had logged in. He did, after my email was sent.

I'm thinking...it's time to move on. Which hurts and really sucks...the dates seemed so promising. le sigh.
 
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