He called me! Also, advice needed.


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christianlife is offline christianlife Post #1  May 30,2009, 2:26pm
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I have been in communication with a match for about a month.It took him awhile to answer my first questions so I nudged him and after I did,we flew through the stages into O.C. where we have been exchanging e-mails daily or every other day.We then progressed to IM where we have had lengthy IM sessions and today he called me.He didn't have much time to talk to me because he was on his way to work(he was going to call me earlier but his car broke down) but it was a nice conversation.He has a very nice voiceHe told me he would try to call me later.

On another note,I have been communicating with a few people from POF and I have a date with one next weekend.I am experiencing a bit of turmoil over this.I have never dated more than one guy at a time and I'm not sure I can.The guy that I am going on date with next week seems really nice.We've e-mailed,Im'ed and talked on the phone several times.My conflict is I REALLY like the guy from Eharmony that just called me today but he lives 3 hours away and we won't be able to meet right away because of his work schedule.I want to try the "dating more than one guy at a time" thing but since I've never done it,don't really know how.I don't want to lead anybody on but I don't want them to know, yet that they're not the only ones I'm dating,in case it doesn't work out.I don't know,I'm looking for the right guy and may have to kiss alot of frogs to find him but don't want to kiss more than I have to,if that makes sense. Does anybody have any advice about dating more than one person at a time?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 30,2009, 3:01pm
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Consider it normal with online dating to see anybody and everybody until you pick one. Assume your matches are doing to same.
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  May 30,2009, 3:03pm
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christianlife wrote :
I'm looking for the right guy and may have to kiss alot of frogs to find him
Excellent idea!
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #4  May 30,2009, 3:05pm
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I think at this stage it's more or less assumed that someone may be dating other people as well. If one of them asks you directly whether you are seeing others, then be honest, of course. If you get to a point where you just don't feel comfortable dating more than one, then make a choice and let the other(s) know.

At this point, you don't even know if you will be drawn to either of them romantically when you meet in person, so it doesn't make sense to make a choice at this point unless there are clearly factors that move you to do that (like they forgot to tell you that they're in prison or something...lol).
 
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christianlife is offline christianlife Post #5  May 30,2009, 3:25pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Excellent idea!
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #6  May 30,2009, 3:29pm

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I would have to agree with the advise already given with one exception you are not being disloyal to any of your dates or to yourself.
You are learning all about internet dating. At this point you have not established a relationship with anyone other then some e mails and a few chats so don't build your hopes to high or to low, just hope to be pleasantly surprised and also disappointed which I'm sure will be mutual for your date as well. Keep an open mind until you get a half of a dozen dates out of the way before you make any decisions.

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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #7  May 30,2009, 4:49pm
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Nothing to see here at all...

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neardc wrote :
At this point, you don't even know if you will be drawn to either of them romantically when you meet in person, so it doesn't make sense to make a choice at this point unless there are clearly factors that move you to do that (like they forgot to tell you that they're in prison or something...lol).
I'm with neardc on this.

I know how you feel though, I've never been comfortable dating multiple people either, so I don't, but that's a personal choice. However, at this stage you are not dating them, you have not even met. I don't consider the first meeting a date, just like I don't consider meeting at a club a date. I would advise to reserve judgement on whether you REALLY like someone until you meet in person. It's easy to get carried away and get your hopes up when people say all the right things online or on the phone, unfortunately it can all come crashing down after you've met in person. This is also the reason why I prefer to meet sooner rather than later. Good luck!
 
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SpyderRyder65 is offline SpyderRyder65 Post #8  May 30,2009, 6:10pm
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christianlife wrote :
I have been in communication with a match for about a month.It took him awhile to answer my first questions so I nudged him and after I did,we flew through the stages into O.C. where we have been exchanging e-mails daily or every other day.We then progressed to IM where we have had lengthy IM sessions and today he called me.He didn't have much time to talk to me because he was on his way to work(he was going to call me earlier but his car broke down) but it was a nice conversation.He has a very nice voiceHe told me he would try to call me later.

On another note,I have been communicating with a few people from POF and I have a date with one next weekend.I am experiencing a bit of turmoil over this.I have never dated more than one guy at a time and I'm not sure I can.The guy that I am going on date with next week seems really nice.We've e-mailed,Im'ed and talked on the phone several times.My conflict is I REALLY like the guy from Eharmony that just called me today but he lives 3 hours away and we won't be able to meet right away because of his work schedule.I want to try the "dating more than one guy at a time" thing but since I've never done it,don't really know how.I don't want to lead anybody on but I don't want them to know, yet that they're not the only ones I'm dating,in case it doesn't work out.I don't know,I'm looking for the right guy and may have to kiss alot of frogs to find him but don't want to kiss more than I have to,if that makes sense. Does anybody have any advice about dating more than one person at a time?

Yes make sure u remember who u are dating and dont ask em a ? u asked the other guy. lol I hate when im dating more than one girl and i go oh didnt u tell about so and so and shes like no wasnt me u must be talking about the other girls your dating lol ooops thats soo embarrasing .. hope u have a good memory. everything else dont worry about im sure your not the only one thats doing it. the guys your goind out with may be doing the same thing. like u said u gotta kiss a few frogs till you find your prince.. good luck and hope u find your prince...................Michael
 
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hankm25 is offline hankm25 Post #9  May 30,2009, 8:05pm
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christianlife wrote :
I have been in communication with a match for about a month.It took him awhile to answer my first questions so I nudged him and after I did,we flew through the stages into O.C. where we have been exchanging e-mails daily or every other day.We then progressed to IM where we have had lengthy IM sessions and today he called me.He didn't have much time to talk to me because he was on his way to work(he was going to call me earlier but his car broke down) but it was a nice conversation.He has a very nice voiceHe told me he would try to call me later.

On another note,I have been communicating with a few people from POF and I have a date with one next weekend.I am experiencing a bit of turmoil over this.I have never dated more than one guy at a time and I'm not sure I can.The guy that I am going on date with next week seems really nice.We've e-mailed,Im'ed and talked on the phone several times.My conflict is I REALLY like the guy from Eharmony that just called me today but he lives 3 hours away and we won't be able to meet right away because of his work schedule.I want to try the "dating more than one guy at a time" thing but since I've never done it,don't really know how.I don't want to lead anybody on but I don't want them to know, yet that they're not the only ones I'm dating,in case it doesn't work out.I don't know,I'm looking for the right guy and may have to kiss alot of frogs to find him but don't want to kiss more than I have to,if that makes sense. Does anybody have any advice about dating more than one person at a time?
I have to disagree with everyone else on this one. You said it yourself, you favor the guy who lives three hours away; essentially you are using the guy that is available as a fall back. I think that is unfair to him. I really think it is a question of character: what if the guy who lives three hours away can't meet with you in less than a few months by that time you would have gone on several dates with the guy that is most available. What would you do just run off and leave him as soon as this guy snaps his fingers?
 
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christianlife is offline christianlife Post #10  May 30,2009, 9:04pm
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hankm25 wrote :
I have to disagree with everyone else on this one. You said it yourself, you favor the guy who lives three hours away; essentially you are using the guy that is available as a fall back. I think that is unfair to him. I really think it is a question of character: what if the guy who lives three hours away can't meet with you in less than a few months by that time you would have gone on several dates with the guy that is most available. What would you do just run off and leave him as soon as this guy snaps his fingers?
I like the guy that lives close,too; I just don't know him as well.You make it sound like I'm some female gigolo that dates multiple guys and strings them all along,breaking hearts along the way.As I said earlier,I'm conflicted about dating multiple guys;I've never done it before.I just wanted to try something different,since dating one guy at a time hasn't worked but I want to do it in way that is helpful in learning who these guys are and finding the guy that is right for me.I don't want to hurt any feelings,though so I how do I go about dating multiple guys while sparing their feelings?
 
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