How do you tell a guy???


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katybethseattle is offline katybethseattle Post #1  May 30,2009, 9:55am
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What is the best way to bring up the subject of body type with a man you are chatting with online and want to meet if it has not yet come up? Do you just say "Hey, I had two kids and sort of forgot to do something about it?"
 
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Ron is offline Ron Post #2  May 30,2009, 11:54am
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What is the best way to bring up the subject of body type with a man you are chatting with online and want to meet if it has not yet come up? Do you just say "Hey, I had two kids and sort of forgot to do something about it?"

Sounds like you put on some extra pounds that you'd like to shed. Obviously this is not something you can (or should try to) conceal. And it's nothing to be ashamed of. Be up-front about your circumstances. Hopefully you have chosen to "do something about it" and are taking concrete steps to achieve your goals. Frame the subject positively: you can indicate that among your hobbies, you are engaged in an exercise program in an effort to maintain a healthful lifestyle that will set an example for your children.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #3  May 30,2009, 12:00pm

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katybethseattle wrote :
What is the best way to bring up the subject of body type with a man you are chatting with online and want to meet if it has not yet come up? Do you just say "Hey, I had two kids and sort of forgot to do something about it?"
I would say it just like that, as soon as the subject comes up
Last edited by scarlet13; May 30,2009 at 12:01pm. Reason: fix quote
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  May 30,2009, 12:10pm
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I’m not sure you should say anything. I just don’t see that any of the possibilities help you, and most will hurt.
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jcd1968 is offline jcd1968 Post #5  May 30,2009, 12:21pm
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By including a recent full body or 3/4 body shot on your profile, and mentioning that you had updated it? Or, by simply sending him one?

A picture will say much more than you can.
 
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sc4me is offline sc4me Post #6  May 30,2009, 12:59pm
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Just don't say, "I'm working on it" when you haven't done a thing. It's one thing to be overweight, heck I'm overweight for my height and build, but it bothers most guys to be continually told "I'm going to start going to the gym next week."
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #7  May 30,2009, 1:05pm
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jcd1968 wrote :
By including a recent full body or 3/4 body shot on your profile, and mentioning that you had updated it? Or, by simply sending him one?

A picture will say much more than you can.
What he said.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #8  May 30,2009, 1:19pm

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How soon do you expect to be standing naked in front of your date?

How soon do you expect to be seated at a table with a date?

Why is it necessary to discuss your imperfections with a stranger?

You will deal with each situation as they arise so stop beating up on yourself. Just go out and have a good time>>> PERIOD.

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jcd1968 is offline jcd1968 Post #9  May 30,2009, 6:06pm
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If a woman is attractive clothed, guess what? She'll be more attractive naked. Those sex hormones just have a way of making that a reality . Is this really the first question for a woman?

Okay, sitting across from a table. Now, that's a poignant question. If (and I'm only being broadly speculative here) she has misrepresented herself to him up to that point, then he's going to feel betrayed. It doesn't matter if her physical appearance is unattractive to him or not (the OPs avatar is attractive, for instance). Human beings are simply like that.

There was one woman I met on-line who lied about her age. I didn't have a problem with her actual age. It's just that she turned out to be 7 years older than me and had sent pictures which were taken 15 years before. She was attractive, but it felt like I was being manipulated by that small fact. I would have probably dated her again if she had been honest and sent current photos.

I think the OP is more concerned in that she doesn't want to mislead the guy she is communicating with, and wants advice on how to avoid that situation. This is a dating site, which means we are communicating with absolute strangers with the intention of dating.

Look, I'm going to make the assumption that the OP has posted pictures of herself, and has truthfully represented herself. I have no reason to believe other wise. Her feelings are perfectly natural. Actually meeting someone for the first time, after having communicated on-line can be unsettling. Simply not knowing if you connect as well off-line is enough. I certainly wouldn't want to meet someone and have them disappointed, or worse, reject me, based on the way I look.
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #10  May 30,2009, 8:07pm

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katybethseattle wrote :
What is the best way to bring up the subject of body type with a man you are chatting with online and want to meet if it has not yet come up? Do you just say "Hey, I had two kids and sort of forgot to do something about it?"

You are very attactive. Hmm maybe you can slowly bring it up. I mean if he has never seen a photo that is. Perhaps you can say the above adding "but I make up for it in other ways" with a wink. Just a suggestion.

Stick around on eha and you get a lot of advice. I believe there are older threads here on this subject. You can check out the link below that leads to a group
that archives former threads/questions.

Good luck with him! Let us know what happened.


http://advice.eharmony.com/group/991...ot-topics.html
group

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/gr...ly-matter.html thread about overweight women
 
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