What do men really want in a woman?


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Nursey is offline Nursey Post #1  May 29,2009, 9:16am
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I am 34 years old and I have never had great luck at dating. What are men really looking for in a woman? I feel like I am clueless and dateless?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 29,2009, 1:38pm
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Intelligent, accomplished, funny, predictable, good-looking, agreeable personality and matching lifestyles.

All in one woman, if possible. Do you know anybody like that?
 
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Blackadder is offline Blackadder Post #3  May 29,2009, 1:56pm
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Well, that's a loaded question.

You can ask a hundred guys that question and get a hundred different answers. Personally, I'm seeking a woman who can hold an intelligent conversation yet be goofy and silly. I'm not looking for a someone to mother me or be my maid. I want a partner to share our life experiences. As for looks, well, she can be blonde, brunette, redhead, long hair, short, curly or bald, slim or fluffy, short or tall, trim or muscular, round or square, country or punk, surfer or geek. Yeah, definately bonus for geek girl.

I do have some preferences, not needs, but things that definately score bonus points for the woman in my book. Things that I think are sexy, like long, straight hair. Ponytails. Dark eyes. Thin lips. If she wears boots, but not spiked heeled ones. Drives a truck, don't know why but a woman who drives a pick-me-up truck is sexy. Casual dress, I have simple tastes. Flannel PJs are sexy, I have no use for flimsy lingerie.

Just be yourself and not who you think the guy wants you to be. People have different tastes so you never know who is attracted to your type.
 
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AsianFusion is offline AsianFusion Post #4  May 29,2009, 1:58pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Intelligent, accomplished, funny, predictable, good-looking, agreeable personality and matching lifestyles.

All in one woman, if possible. Do you know anybody like that?
Yeah, ME . . . but I'm taken!
 
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zal is offline zal Post #5  May 29,2009, 2:11pm
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One man's opinion -- Who the heck cares? Focus on what you want in man. Then look for guys who meet those qualities. Chances are you'll find some that are looking for a woman like you.
 
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peg099 is offline peg099 Post #6  May 29,2009, 2:23pm
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zal wrote :
One man's opinion -- Who the heck cares? Focus on what you want in man. Then look for guys who meet those qualities. Chances are you'll find some that are looking for a woman like you.
+100
 
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Jacquesne is offline Jacquesne Post #7  May 29,2009, 3:03pm
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AsianFusion wrote :
Yeah, ME . . . but I'm taken!
Does he know you're here?

Just sayin'

What do men really want in a woman? As other posters have said, depends on the dude. He could want a long term relationship. He could want a one-night stand. He could want a blond with brunette streaks, at least three earrings, more than one tattoo, weight between 123.87 and 143.21 lbs, height between 5'1" to 5'1-1/2", one green eye and one blue eye, who is either a veterinarian or a greeter at Wal-Mart, and a last name that starts with 'B.' Oh, and a nice smile who likes long walks on the beach.

I'm being facetious but the point is that worrying about all the little details is A) a waste of time and B) not really that important. Most guys don't have a checklist (even if they say they do...it's more of a guideline).

If you want some general tips I'd suggest these. First, be authentic. An emotionally mature guy (presumably what you're looking for) isn't going to play games and doesn't enjoy being on the other end. Second, be interested in him. I don't care if you're the perfect woman he's always been looking for if you aren't interested in him it won't end prettily. Be sure to let him know if you are!

Third, and in my opinion most importantly, be positive. Attitude is contagious. If you are a positive person you'll bring him up and he'll do the same in return. If you have a negative view of yourself he'll start to believe it. I cannot stress this enough. Many women I've talked to who complain that guys are "shallow" suffer from a negative self-image. When I observe what they're doing with a guy they constantly talk down about themselves, saying how they don't like their hips, they're overweight, their hair is the wrong color, they can't do this, they look ugly in that, blah blah blah get a therapist.

Would you like a guy constantly telling you about how wimpy he is, how horrible of a father he'll be, how he wishes he had more money, how fat his stomach is, how he hates being bald, etc.? Sure, I'm stereotyping. The point is that if someone talks badly about themselves long enough the other person will start to believe it.

Many women do this unconsciously. It's often a way to fish for compliments; they want him to comment on the outfit they picked out or the earrings they're wearing and make a negative comment so he'll say something to prove her wrong. The classic example is "Does this dress make me look fat?" She doesn't actually think she looks fat in the dress (hopefully). She just wants him to compliment the dress.

In moderation this is OK but when in doubt be positive. Make him feel like you honestly enjoy being around him. Most guys are trying to make you happy (even if it doesn't always seem like it). We'll often say ridiculous comments or even mean ones just to draw out a laugh. Guys will go through extraordinary lengths to get a woman to smile and laugh. So do it!

Basically, for long term relationships, guys are looking for a woman that compliments them (not in the "Your car is nice" way but in the fitting together way). They have their strengths and you have yours. In a good relationship the whole is truly more than the sum of its parts.

At a more practical level, if you're having trouble finding dates, make sure you aren't looking too hard. Find guy friends. Even if things don't work out with the friend it's highly likely that he has guy friends you might be interested in. You won't get any dates unless you meet guys. If you're interested in them don't be afraid to show it a bit. Give him some green lights. Few guys will bother with "unavailable" women. If you're giving off "red light" signals they'll probably keep their distance. Worst case scenario they aren't interested in return and won't reciprocate. Well, that's where you were before, right?

It's not easy. Trust me, I know. Putting yourself out there for possible rejection is scary. Flirt a bit when in a group of guys. If the guy you flirt with isn't interested you've just told every guy in the room who is interested that you're available. How? They will pick up on your flirting, see the guy you flirted with not returning it, and know by your actions that you're available.

At 34 you're running into guys who presumably are a bit more mature than, say, guys like me . They don't want to play games any more than you do. There's all sorts of tips and tricks out there that help but the main thing I would emphasize is don't get discouraged and do stay positive.

Good luck, and I hope something in there helps =).

Jacquesne
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #8  May 29,2009, 3:11pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Intelligent, accomplished, funny, predictable, good-looking, agreeable personality and matching lifestyles.

All in one woman, if possible. Do you know anybody like that?
Someone who knows what they want, can entertain themselves, low maintenance, reliable, predictable
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #9  May 29,2009, 3:11pm
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The title of this thread just makes me itch to post something highly inappropriate...sorry to the OP, it's not you. It's me. Twisted little monkeymind and all.

I will say...ask a thousand men, you'll get thousand answers. And to whoever said figure out what you want in a man instead of worrying about what every man wants...bingo.

Good luck.
Last edited by littlebluemonkeymind; May 29,2009 at 3:11pm. Reason: Sitting on her hands to keep from typing any more...
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #10  May 29,2009, 3:34pm
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I want to be with a cute(to me), intelligent, sweet, & respectful woman that is fun to be around. Those are my requirements.
 
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