waltercl is online now waltercl Post #1  May 27,2009, 7:29pm
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I remember a line from a movie, a guy sits down next to a girl and starts to make small talk. She turns and says to him, "Don't even bother. I am so far out of your league that if there were an explosion in my league your league wouldn't even hear it for days."

So how do you know who is or isn't in your league? This is obviously somewhat of a rhetorical question, and I have my own ideas, but I thought it would be a good topic for discussion.


Disclaimer: I understand there are those who feel the discussion of "leagues" is irrelevant since their view is anyone can develop a successful relationship with anyone in any league if they allow time for the relationship to develop. I acknowledge this view and understand that for them this discussion might seem unnecessary. Please bear with me and others who might wish to explore this issue.
 
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Feral_Mustang is offline Feral_Mustang Post #2  May 27,2009, 7:42pm
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That league line cracks me up. From The Librarian.
 
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sheera007 is offline sheera007 Post #3  May 27,2009, 7:56pm
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waltercl wrote :
I remember a line from a movie, a guy sits down next to a girl and starts to make small talk. She turns and says to him, "Don't even bother. I am so far out of your league that if there were an explosion in my league your league wouldn't even hear it for days."



waltercl wrote :
So how do you know who is or isn't in your league?
I'm in a league of my own.





running away now
 
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becky21k is offline becky21k Post #4  May 27,2009, 7:57pm
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Forget about the bottom of the barrel; knock the barrel over and dig up some of the rocks under it and eventually you get to the league I seem to be in. I hate to liken it to actual baseball leagues because once you get below AAA or college leagues the analogy becomes michael jacksonesquely creepy...
 
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Chickie1984 is offline Chickie1984 Post #5  May 27,2009, 7:58pm
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The first step to knowing who is or isn't within your league is defining which league you belong to or would like to be in. If you aren't in your desired league yet, wait until you're there to date.
Once you've defined your league, identify the characteristics and seek them out. Different people have different idea of "league" for some it's looks, others it's ambition/career or combinations of whatever.

As for me, depending on which end of the "league" spectrum a guy is in it should take me between 10 minutes to 3 dates to figure it out. My philosophy is to date someone that I perceive to be within or above my league, not below. (they also have to feel like I am up to par for them). Someone within my league is easy. Someone above it will inspire me continually to keep growing and improving, which is something I want to do anyway but it's always nice to have that inspiration.

to answer the question of HOW do you know they are in your league more directly. it's simple. Observe how they look, speak and behave, and talk to them about "league" stuff (like career plans, fitness goals etc.)
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #6  May 27,2009, 8:04pm
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Some people see leagues as a dating ladder, where a loser at the bottom has to date a few 4s and 6s to get the swagger to be with some 8s and 9s.

to put an up and down structure to dating doesn't make sense as most people want something different besides a hot girl/guy.

You might think that a 38 y.o female attorney's "league" would be guys in their mid 40's who drive a porsche and have a 6800 sqft house with Italian marble all over the place.

Actually, she's into artists and musicians who are 7-10 years younger than her....so leagues dont really apply much.
 
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waltercl is online now waltercl Post #7  May 27,2009, 8:11pm
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One of the reasons I wanted to start such a thread is because you hear all the time about people being attracted to people who aren't attracted to them. And then that person is attracted to people who aren't attracted to them. In other words you have this phenomenon of wanting what you can't have.

So how can people maximize their chances of getting the ones they set their sights on and minimizing their chances of being rejected and disappointed?

Are there things people can recognize and understand to cope with this and turn it around to work for them?
Last edited by waltercl; May 27,2009 at 8:17pm.
 
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Chickie1984 is offline Chickie1984 Post #8  May 27,2009, 8:17pm
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the people someone might be attracted to are not attracted to them. And then that person is attracted to people who aren't attractive to them. In other words you have this phenomenon of wanting what you can't have.

Are there things people can recognize and understand to cope with this and turn it around to work for them?

excellent question!!!!!
my cousin told me not to pluck the top part of my eyebrows b/c it will mess up who is attracted to me (theory being you are attracted to someone who looks kind of like you).

lol, aka I have no idea
 
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waltercl is online now waltercl Post #9  May 27,2009, 8:25pm
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I know the first thing people think of when they see this topic is physical attractiveness and body size. And that indeed is a big part of how some people would describe various "leagues", but I'll give an example of how it also has to do with other things.

Let's take a single mom who is attractive and slender. She has two children, and let's say they're 8 and 10. Although she is great looking she is not going to be in the "league" of guys who don't want to date a single mom. There's nothing wrong with her, and there's nothing she can do to change her circumstances. All she can do is be the best person she can and accept that some guys are not going to want to date her because of her status.

Then here's an example of where someone can make a change and expand their league. A guy is 28 and lives with his parents. He's average when it comes to appearance. Some women are not going to want to date him because he still lives at home. He will not be in their league. If he wants to expand his available leagues then he can save up some money and get his own apartment.
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #10  May 27,2009, 10:23pm
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Basically it comes down to who you are attracted to and who you aren't. All the ducks got to line up in a row etc. including the person considering you in their league.

If you both don't consider the other as a potential...doesn't matter...

Sometimes both could even consider the other to have it all and still no sparks.

League is all what you feel...you can take yourself out of the ball game before you even start with the negative thought that someone wouldn't consider you.
 
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