Happy and Confused!

If he is going to be gone and is not interested in communicating he may not be truly available. Don't get your hopes up here. He seems kind of fishy to me! Please let us know if you hear back from him.

Had a 2nd date with a great guy (1st date was weds, 2nd thurs). We did dinner and a movie. He gave me a lot of compliments, kept trying to get me to start into his eyes (I'm shy, so keeping eye contact isn't easy). During dinner he said he could read palms, so he read mine...then kept reaching for my hand during dinner.

On the way to the theater, he asked the ticket lady how I looked. She looked surprised lol, but said "ok". Then asked him how she looked, he replied "I can't tell you, I'm with her". During the entire movie he was holding my hand, rubbing my arm...finding ways to touch me.

During the 1st date, he said on Friday he was going to Chicago for busines (so I had a warning he was leaving). Thurs night he stayed until 2am and we had some good conversatioin about family, what we're looking for in the future, etc. But he had an early flight Fri so had to leave

He said he'll be gone 2-4 weeks, or might be back sooner. I'm trying not to over worry because he hasn't called or text'd. It's just, it was the best 2 dates I've ever had, among him being really cute, outgoing, smart, funny (oh and he makes really good money - different from the men I usually date).

I know it's not exclusive, so I'm still keeping my options open, but I miss him lol. When I talk about him to others, I can feel this huge grin on my face, and they tell me "I seem happy". At the same time, I'm trying to contain it because if it doesn't work out I don't want to be really hurt. .

Also, kinda worried if he might be a player. He's got money, was very flattering...at the same time he asked so many questions about me, I've never had anyone try to get to know me so well.

What do you think?

Having been contacted by my share of scammers and players, and having read/heard enough of others’ encounters, while I wouldn’t assume anything just yet, I would exercise a little caution and try to be alert to and honest with yourself about anything that seems “off.”

I know everyone is different, but right off the bat all the flattery and “palm-reading” (did he actually keep a straight face?) strike me as contrived, and the exchange with the ticket lady just downright weird and kind of tacky (who would want to be put on the spot like that?) And he told you at some point in the first two dates how much money he earns?


Also, while he acted so taken with you so quickly, there were no firm plans for when he gets back? Normally I might not think much about a guy not calling/texting within a few days of even a date/s he really enjoyed; however, this one is supposedly gone on business (for 2-4 weeks??), but his trip begins on the holiday weekend when it’s unlikely there’s any business going on… So perhaps he’s taking this time for a little R&R first, but doesn’t even think to make contact to say “I enjoyed the dates” or “hoping I’ll be able to see you as soon as I get back.”??

The final thing that really jumped out at me was that “he asked so many questions about me, I’ve never had anyone try to get to know me so well.” But again, he’s away for 2-4 weeks, with no stated intention to keep in touch at all while he’s gone or firm plans for when he returns.


Sometimes the reason/s a person might be so flattering and try to learn details so quickly have nothing to do with romance, and I’m wondering if you’re not sensing this yourself and didn’t come here to ask us with the hope that we could reassure you it all sounded “normal.”


It might be that he is a nice guy who really likes you and just goes a little overboard with the flattery and gestures. We can only know the details you’ve shared here, which are taken out of context from the rest of the time you shared together, and the “face-to-face” behaviors that went with them. But I sincerely hope that if your own gut is sending you warning signals, you listen to it. That’s your built-in alarm system; you have it for a good reason. Please let us know how it turns out.

Sounds like you had wonderful dates with this guy! In an effort to protect your heart, however, continue dating other guys. I know it's tough doing so, especially when someone has captured your attention like this guy has. But going out with others will prevent you from focusing exclusively on this guy....we still don't know what he's really about (sincere? player?) so while we (meaning you, of course;-) figure him out, try getting out there and meeting other men.

Take his attention and compliments as being sincere -- and a testament that men think you're wonderful! Many others will see what this guy sees, so give others the opportunity to meet you, too.

....Best wishes:-)