First Match Meeting traveling 4 hrs to meet her advice anyone?


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AMFC3030 is offline AMFC3030 Post #1  May 23,2009, 10:32pm
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whats up all. I am finally meeting a match that I've been talking with quite a bit since October. She wanted me to meet her back in January but I didn't go because I was afraid and also I had to help a friend move back that was into drugs. I told her and she was cool with it. We have been in communication over the past few months etc but I haven't told her about a fling I had a few months back. During the fling we also both had a lack of communication. Should I tell her or just keep it to myself as I don't want this to potentially mess anything up if there is a connection when we meet. We didn't have sex thats about the only thing we didn't do. Anywho, I know we are going to hit it off good because conversation over the phone and on web cam is always pretty good and it doesn't seem awkward at all. Does anyone have any advice. Oh yeah I also know she is into me cuz she sent me "naughty" photo's and vice-versa but that was quite a while ago. What does everyone think. Any insight would be good. Thanks to all for reading and any advice you can give.
 
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Doctora2012 is offline Doctora2012 Post #2  May 23,2009, 11:02pm
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Best wishes! I hope your meeting goes well.

As regards whether to tell her about the fling, I'd suggest not sharing this info. It'd be important to share if you were in a relationship or seeing each other exclusively, but it doesn't seem as though you have reached either point (as you have yet to meet in person).

Although this info. shouldn't factor into our interaction with the guys we're dating (pre-relationship), it'd still bug some of us to know that the guy we're talking with had a fling (so, in this case, it's best not to tell).

....Best wishes
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #3  May 23,2009, 11:29pm
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Often (not always) there is an expectation of sex when you meet after naughty photos are shared. If you're both in that state of anticipation, then you would not be wise to mention the fling.

Just curious... why were you afraid to meet the match?
Last edited by noseyparker; May 23,2009 at 11:40pm. Reason: the thought police are watching
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  May 24,2009, 3:32am
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Well, this sounds like a win for the “compatibility matching system.”

I have some things I’d keep in mind are not to get your hopes up, and don’t make a trip that you’d regret if your date goes nowhere. Meeting on neutral ground seems preferred, though that has actually not been my practice.

Unless you promised you would not see anyone during the e-mail phase, you have committed no wrong by seeing someone else.
 
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AMFC3030 is offline AMFC3030 Post #5  May 24,2009, 12:05pm
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Awesome thanks for the advice. I felt like maybe I had done something wrong but I never did commit to anything via email or phone convo etc. I guess the reason I was afraid to meet her was because I, like most guys am scared of a relationship. I've never been in one so that plays a huge role as well but I know now that I am ready for one if it were to come to that. But I'm not thinking of it like that now. I am thinking of this meeting as simply a new experience and who knows maybe I'll make a great new friend and if it happens to work out that we like each other and get together then right on but I'm not looking at it like that. Anywho thanks for the advice from all the peeps on this board!!!!
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #6  May 24,2009, 12:21pm
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You and her were not in a relationship and therefore having a fling with someone is non of her business and frankly there is no need to share it and I would not expect her to share any of the flings that she might have had since you tow have been in communication.

Good luck with the date, stay cool, have fun, and be yourself.
 
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ceec is offline ceec Post #7  May 27,2009, 3:01pm
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Do not,I repeat,do not tell her about the fling,EVER !
There will never be a need to that is strong enough to risk
hurting her needlessly !
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  May 28,2009, 7:58am
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Until you have both agreed to have an exclusive relationship then you are both free to date anyone that you may choose.

To even consider having an exclusive relationship before even meeting is just plain crazy.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #9  May 28,2009, 8:43am

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It seems strange to read your post and that you are so clueless.
A female friend who may or may not ending up as a girl friend or a lover will remember everything that you tell her and if you plant the seed that you are a cheat and untrustworthy it will remain in her mind forever! Since you guys have not met as of today there is no commitment to each other so your fling is irrelevant. Why would you want to confess anything about your private life to a stranger and especially someone who you hope to have a relationship with in the future? As far as what does everyone think-DUH? You will have to define what do you want out of the relationship and what quality's in a female friend are important to you?
When you meet her bring her a big box of chocolates it will bring out her sweetness. Think about what you say to her before you say it. To avoid putting your foot in your mouth.
Good Luck.

Harvey7
Last edited by Harvey7; May 28,2009 at 8:46am.
 
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AMFC3030 is offline AMFC3030 Post #10  June 9,2009, 12:26pm
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Well we hit it off really good and ended up hanging out quite a bit. She said she wants to come visit me come the middle of july but now I've barely heard a peep from her and it's been over a week since my return home. She text me yesterday and said she would call me but she never called. I know she is really busy w/school and work but how hard is it to send a freakin text saying hey i got busy I'll yack at ya later this week. What do you guys all think on this. We did hit it off good and she seemed genuine. I mean she invited me into her home our first meeting. It was basically me and her hanging out playing video games at her place. We didn't really go out in public much but that is because she is a home body. I dunno how would everyone ele read this.
 
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