Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 5 of 15 « First 3 4 5 6 7 Last »
 
LinkBack (50) Thread Tools
dark_mullet dark_mullet is offline
dark_mullet's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 17

See profile

Double post sorry, this didn't appear at first.
Last edited by dark_mullet; July 20th, 2009 at 09:42 pm.
- July 19th, 2009, 10:54 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#41   Reply With Quote
dark_mullet dark_mullet is offline
dark_mullet's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 17

See profile

I never kiss on the first date. Ever. I don't care how much chemistry I think we have. Because the main point is "I think". I don't know how the girl feels no matter how good I think it's going. I'll often greet, and goodbye with a hug for the first date. A kiss is saved for the second date.

I've later found out a few times that the girl very much WANTED me to kiss her at the end of the first date, and was bummed that I didn't.. Oh you girls, thinking us guys notice minor hints!

As for other physical contact, I usually won't hold hands, snuggle, or put my arm around a girl. I'll get close physically, without it being awkward. Like if sitting by a lake, I won't leave a large gap between us, I just sit closely.

When it comes to the first date, I will leave it up to the girl to initiate physical contact.
- July 19th, 2009, 11:26 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#42   Reply With Quote
lilly85 lilly85 is offline
lilly85's Avatar

lilly85 got stood up!

Newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 4

See profile

Even if there is a ton of physical chemistry I think you only get your first kiss with someone once and it is fun to let the anticipation build.
On my first date with someone from Eharmony he shook my hand which felt really akward and for some reason made me feel very young( there was already a bit of an age difference). Then it was like the date that would never end( it was 7 hours). Even if I had liked him I think it is best to keep it short the first time and then if both parties like each other you can arrange a longer date. He also tried to get very gropy( it was the first and last date).
I hug everyone so for me a hug is perfectly comfortable and natural when first meeting. At the end of the first date if it went well I think a hug and kiss on the cheek is sweet.
I like to let the guy initiate contact. I wouldn't be crazy about the arm thing(feels kind of sleezy). If the date didn't go well the signals I will usually send will be to initiate a quick hug myself and not linger at wherever the date ends. If I like a guy and want him to kiss me I will usually find myself tilting my head towards him, playing with my hair( I know it's cliche but it's a nervous thing), place my hand close to his or find some little way to touch him like pulling fuzz off of his shirt.
- July 20th, 2009, 12:19 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#43   Reply With Quote
dark_mullet dark_mullet is offline
dark_mullet's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 17

See profile

I have to say that having arms around me/playing with my hair is pretty much the only 'hint' that I clearly read as "Seriously kiss me".
- July 20th, 2009, 12:34 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#44   Reply With Quote
lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
lil_lamb's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 1,020

See profile

for me, it's a hug. don't really like people who flinch at the hug. i think it's appropriate. you're friendlier than meeting a stranger or an associate, but a kiss is rushing things.
- July 20th, 2009, 12:51 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#45   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 2,848

See profile

As much or as little as both of you are comforable with.

Some people have an instant "cant keep hands, mouths, other body parts off each other" kind of chemistry. Others need time. Nothing wrong with either one, provided both are comfortable with the level of contact. "Appropriate" is not a word I'd even use in this context.

Personally, I'm very tactile, but only with people I'm comfortable with. Some people are inviting from the get go, but I wouldn't "jump" them in the middle of a conversation. I would touch their arm or shoulder. Sometimes it stops there, sometimes it doesn't...

Every relationship and every situation is unique. Follow your gut feeling, with a lot of consideration and tact, and pay careful attention to the response you receive. If you even suspect that the other person may be uncomfortable, withdraw a little and give them some space. Until... you feel an overwhelming need and want to touch them again, be it physically or not
- July 20th, 2009, 01:35 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#46   Reply With Quote
dalejrfan88 dalejrfan88 is offline
dalejrfan88's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 39

See profile

A man's physical touch would depend how I felt towards him.I wouldn't want to be kissed at the beginning of a date~too weird.
As far as the arm around me or hand holding~I would have to be into the guy to be comfortable with that on a first date.WAY into him!(O:
Really,all you can do is be you.If you're comfortable with physical affections on the first date then you will need to be with someone who is comfortable with that~that's dating,right?Good luck and just be you!(O;
- August 26th, 2009, 06:37 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#47   Reply With Quote
Seneca Seneca is offline
Seneca's Avatar

Seneca a Dios

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 230

See profile

I am very much a "touchy/feely" kind of guy HOWEVER I happen to firmly believe that my special touch and affection are rewards a women should not receive until she actually deserves them. I know that attitude from a man will not compute with about 90% of this country's women and with none of the men - but think about it - it's both true and valid.
More than once I've been on a date with someone who, within a short time, convinced me to be uninterested even if my life hung in the balance - there wasn't a snowball's chance in Miami that I even wanted to be in the same state as those bimbos so the odds of me touching/kissing them were less than zero.

On first dates I figure on a "high-5" at the end of the date and maybe during the date if a moment warrents it. Usually there is some laughter involved and I've never had any woman balk at it whatsoever (they are people, after all). Sometimes when a woman offers me her hand for a handshake at the end of a first date there seems to be hint that she is really OK with more than that. In that case I take her hand and do a fun imitation of a knight by kissing the back of her hand and saying something like Good Night, Sweet Princess Genevive - I'm off to do battle with the washing ma... er... three-headed monster in your honor. And then just give her a smile and a wink and a warm "Thank you for your company today". Two ladies were quick enough to respond in like manner and giving me the message that they wanted to see me again in the process.
I guess in short I would say that a date, especially a first date, is a meeting, not an Easter egg hunt. Enjoy it for what it is, for the Fun it can be.

Local Opinions may vary.
- August 27th, 2009, 10:07 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#48   Reply With Quote
Fabulousity Fabulousity is offline
Fabulousity's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 1

See profile

There has to be some physical contact on the first date or else I am reading "not into you..". If my date ever went to shake my hand, especially after we had gone through communication, I would be rather put off. I shake hands with associates and clients, not potential suitors. A hug is always good, accompanied by a quick kiss on the cheek adds a little class.
Unless I am throwing out some signs during the date that I am into you; leaning towards to, playing with my hair, touching your arm etc. having you place your arm around me would be a little much for the first date. Save that for when you know you are going to get snuggled into.
- September 14th, 2009, 11:34 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#49   Reply With Quote
Tenney Tenney is offline
Tenney's Avatar

Tenney is at home.

Newbie

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 11

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I am a reserved kind of guy but I love to hug. So when you meet on the first date and then end the first date do you shake his hand??? Or do you keep your hands in your pockets?

No hug at the end of the date = no second date (at least from me). And I will ask for one. Had a date with an eHarmony match recently who did not want me to walk her to her car and then shook my hand. Did we just have a business meeting??? Obvious to me that we are not on the same page here.
A handshake on a date seems to tell me cool and distant. I have had the proverbial handshake but because the pre-date contact was going well, I decided to pull that handshake into a hug, and found it was a wise thing to do. No contact is awkward, a handshake is like dating your father, a kiss might be too much in the beginning, buts hugs are definitely okay with me. I am an affectionate person, and because of my kids, I am always hugging someone with a boo-boo or holding hands and consoling away tears, so physical contact just comes second nature to me. I am not afraid to touch a man's hand at the table during dinner, if the right signals are there, a goodnight kiss definitely if things are right (starting with the cheek and seeing if he takes initiative?) but nothing more intimate that that--definitely a creeper moment for me on that.
- September 18th, 2009, 08:18 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#50   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 5 of 15 « First 3 4 5 6 7 Last »

Bookmarks

« What happened? | Array | Just wondering »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/dating-advice/dating/24990-how-much-physical-contact-appropriate-for-first-date.html
Posted By For Type Date
Phrases that Signal the end of a romantic relationship This thread Refback October 13th, 2009 04:03 pm
What Not to Eat and Drink on a First Date This thread Refback October 12th, 2009 09:19 am
Dumped! What Happened? This thread Refback October 11th, 2009 03:09 pm
How to find love, advice on dating : eHarmony Advice This thread Refback October 11th, 2009 03:17 am
The Top Kissing Complaints This thread Refback October 10th, 2009 11:36 pm
Five Ways to Scare a Guy Away by eHarmony Advice This thread Refback October 10th, 2009 10:35 pm
Online Dating 101: Profile This thread Refback October 10th, 2009 05:55 pm
A Wink and a Smile: The Way You Appear is About More Than Your Looks! This thread Refback October 10th, 2009 04:12 pm
Harnessing Your Wild Side This thread Refback October 10th, 2009 01:44 pm
Keeping an Open Mind (and Heart) When Dating This thread Refback October 10th, 2009 01:11 am
Men's Intuition: How Men Read Your Signals This thread Refback October 7th, 2009 04:05 pm
Startup Love: What Starting a Company Reveals About Launching a Romance by eHarmony Advice This thread Refback October 4th, 2009 05:45 am
How to find love, advice on dating : eHarmony Advice This thread Refback October 3rd, 2009 05:24 am
The Secret of Sex Appeal by eHarmony Advice This thread Refback October 3rd, 2009 03:12 am
Online Dating 101: Photos This thread Refback October 2nd, 2009 08:36 am
Are You Dating A Fixer-Upper? This thread Refback October 1st, 2009 09:01 pm
Relationships: When the Honeymoon Phase is Over This thread Refback October 1st, 2009 07:23 pm
Scent and Attraction: Love at First Whiff? This thread Refback September 30th, 2009 09:13 pm
First Dates: Three Things You Never Reveal! This thread Refback September 28th, 2009 12:47 pm
Matchmaking Around the World by eHarmony Advice This thread Refback September 27th, 2009 09:35 pm
First Dates: Three Things You Never Reveal! This thread Refback September 27th, 2009 04:59 pm
Why Do Women All Seem to Want Taller Men? This thread Refback September 27th, 2009 09:45 am
Are you too Intimidating? by eHarmony Advice This thread Refback September 27th, 2009 12:46 am
5 Types of Women that Men Avoid This thread Refback September 26th, 2009 07:03 pm
Jealousy: Why it can Ruin Your Relationship This thread Refback September 26th, 2009 05:04 pm
2009 Checklist for Dating Success This thread Refback September 26th, 2009 01:06 pm
#1 Surprising Reason Men Said They Chose Their Wife by eHarmony Advice This thread Refback September 26th, 2009 11:53 am
Five Ways Women Sabotage Their Relationships This thread Refback September 25th, 2009 04:10 pm
The Relationship Killers: 8 Things you Should Never Say This thread Refback September 25th, 2009 03:04 pm
The Relationship Killers: 8 Things you Should Never Say This thread Refback September 25th, 2009 01:54 am
Creepy Behavior That Men should Avoid when Dating This thread Refback September 24th, 2009 11:12 am
Five Ways Women Sabotage Their Relationships This thread Refback September 24th, 2009 04:19 am
5 Types of Men that Women Avoid by eHarmony Advice This thread Refback September 23rd, 2009 11:36 am
Dating: Why Manners Matter This thread Refback September 22nd, 2009 09:41 pm
Her Biggest Dating Fears This thread Refback September 22nd, 2009 08:43 pm
Relationship advice, communication skills, online dating tips: eHarmony Advice This thread Refback September 22nd, 2009 01:10 am
The Top Ten Guide to Dating in Toronto by eHarmony Advice This thread Refback September 21st, 2009 10:12 pm
The Wrong Reasons To Be In A Relationship This thread Refback September 21st, 2009 06:24 pm
Let's Talk: Breaking Down Barriers and Developing a Closer Connection This thread Refback September 21st, 2009 01:15 pm
Relationship advice, communication skills, online dating tips: eHarmony Advice This thread Refback September 21st, 2009 02:54 am
Her Biggest Dating Fears This thread Refback September 20th, 2009 08:39 pm
FREE Dating Advice, Relationship Advice & Dating Tips : eHarmony Advice This thread Refback September 20th, 2009 08:28 pm
Between the Pickup Lines This thread Refback September 20th, 2009 03:53 pm
Dating tips and advice on how to date : eHarmony Advice This thread Refback September 19th, 2009 06:44 am
What Women Want This thread Refback September 19th, 2009 02:45 am
Free Relationship Advice, Learn Communication Skills: eHarmony Advice This thread Refback September 18th, 2009 11:50 pm
5 Things Not to Wear on a First Date This thread Refback September 18th, 2009 07:01 pm
First Dates: Three Things You Never Reveal! This thread Refback September 18th, 2009 04:43 pm
How much physical contact is appropriate for a first date? - Page 2 - Dating & Relationship Discussion Boards – eHarmony Advice This thread Refback July 6th, 2009 09:03 pm
How much physical contact is appropriate for a first date? - Page 4 - Dating & Relationship Discussion Boards – eHarmony Advice This thread Refback July 5th, 2009 06:28 pm

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
First Date Financial Woes . . . Vinsa81 Dating 20 May 22nd, 2009 05:55 am
To Date or Not To Date 4ever29 Relationships 2 May 18th, 2009 10:50 am
First date money woes? Vinsa81 Ask a Dating Expert 2 May 13th, 2009 02:23 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Mine taught me I'd get beat for making a cost on the phone bill, which was for adults. Know what, I have a job now and buy what I want. Young people have different lifestyles ... if most of ... ” – D_Lion

Join the “Calling at 2 in the morning” discussion

“ I realized after I made my post that I should have said I do not believe enough men could be intimidated by women that it would encompass a significant share of a woman's dating experience. ... ” – D_Lion

Join the “where men are financially now” discussion

“I'm no dating expert, but on my current girlfriend, apparently I did many things right (she unintentionally told me why she was attracted to me). Remember all woman are different, so this is no ... ” – glyster

Join the “Third Date” discussion

“I am a very moderate drinker myself. I love a good glass of wine, but it isn't something I am in the mood for with every meal. I might drink once every six months or it might be every other weekend. ... ” – FruitaBu

Join the “Alcohol and dating...” discussion

“There could be reasons that a person wishes to remain anonymous. I once met a professional golfer online who did not want his last name revealed.” – FLA123

Join the “Here's a good one for you” discussion

“For me, the only real stress is the shopping. But I'm not working now; I can go anytime, and there's always the Internet. Savings bonds and Gift Cards help. I don't give the shopping a thought ... ” – j0hn8andy

Join the “Destressing the holidays!” discussion

“Regardless of the reason(s) why....and how valid or invalid these are, if you've tried to break up with him several times I don't forsee things just 'becoming better'.” – jayjay

Join the “Help! Am I making a mistake?” discussion

“Personally, I like the guy on Scrubs who says "He is going to give you a physical you ain't never goin' to forget."” – FLA123

Join the “Need some advice please...” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:58 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0