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rei818 rei818 is offline
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When_I_See_You_Smile wrote :
Go for it! If you don't hear from him by tomorrow evening, send him a quick email to let him know that you had a good time. He will appreciate knowing where you stand.

Best of luck!
thanks, WISYS!

he ended up contacting me later in the evening and we spent a couple hours chatting. already have plans for dinner and a movie this week.

of course, now i am wondering if we are moving too fast or if he is only interested in bedroom activities, blah blah/insert other common concerns here - i guess it is just the inner monologue of a woman in her late 20s who hasn't been dating for a while. and i guess i should just relax and go with the flow. i have decided to consciously stall any physical stuff so there is time for me to figure out whether the chemistry is more than lust.

thank you for the encouragement!
and thanks to everyone here who takes the time to provide feedback to others,

rei
- May 25th, 2009, 01:55 am
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Mza Mza is offline
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Like others have said, it deoends on the person, some people can't get enough contact fast enough, then there are people like me, who, like little or no contact, best thing you can do, is if you are unsure (this applies to hugging, kissing, holding hands) ask her, if I'm with a guy and he asks me if it's okay to hold my hand, it shows me that he's considerate of my feelings and chances are I'll more likely respond positively to it if he asks me first, instead of just doing it, that to and by asking the other knows it's coming and you can spare the awakrdness in it.

So to anwser your question, personaly I thinking holding hands and holding/hugging are good on your first date.
- May 25th, 2009, 08:53 am
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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I agree that a handshake on a date would feel weird. I do a lot of that with clients and business associates, but in a social setting women rarely shake hands, I think it's more of a guys' thing.

The rest depends on a woman, we are all different, some are more tactile than others. I would advise to err on the side of caution initially and greet her with a big smile - you can't go wrong with that. If you've been communicating extensively and developed a good rapport, a hug may be appropriate. Then read her signs and follow her lead - if she touches you on the arm when she laughs, leans towards you or moves closer, then she would probably be open to more contact. But I'd recommend small steps rather than an arm around her shoulder right away - I would not be comfortable with that on a first date unless we really clicked right away.
- May 25th, 2009, 09:19 am
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96speed 96speed is offline
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I always greet my date with a nonsexual hug and wish them well with a hug. As long as your clean and don't stink, there isn't really a way for you to go wrong with that. Its more intimate than a handshake, but offers a little contact for you both. Plus, every now and then you get a whiff of one of the best things ever--that fresh, just-shampoo'd woman's hair smell--without being a creep. Mmmmm .

Throwing the arm over the shoulder, unless is timed perfectly, just seems like a creep move like you'd see in the movies. Again, unless the timing is perfect, it seems like you're just waiting for the right time to put the moves on and women know this. Then again, showing initiative with confidence is sometimes a turnon for women. I'd play it safe until the comfort level for both parties goes up and not worry about how physical I should be. That will come in time with the right one.

Ryan
- May 25th, 2009, 09:32 am
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lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
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i'm huggy. i think a hug is a nice greeting/goodbye for a first date with someone you met online and have talked with a bit. hug, of course, not a grope. a first kiss i don't like really. i think people should hold back a little, show some discrimination.
- May 25th, 2009, 09:34 am
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I know you were asking for input from the girls but I will share my experience.

As mentioned each person is different and I always let the girl lead so that I don't overstep her boundary. I have been greeted on the first date with a handshake to a kiss. Personally I consider a handshake too business like and was surprised by a kiss on first meeting. Most times on first meeting there is no contact.

At the ending of a first date I expect a hug and if the girl does not offer then I will ask and have never been turned down. One of my First Questions is "Do you consider yourself physically affectionate when involved in a relationship?".
- May 25th, 2009, 09:39 am
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...After several conversations with a potential "match",-which were mostly about work,etc.we decided to meet for lunch.First thing,he decided to sit right next to me in a booth,so that I couldn't even look across at him.We went to an outdoor event.All day,he kept touching me,putting his arm around my waist,etc.Trying to show everyone that he'd finally snagged a date-?After a while,I became creeped out and jumpy.-Yuck. So much for that.Guy number two,was the same.If you specifically state.."friends first",etc...why do they refuse to respect that?!!!
- May 25th, 2009, 09:59 am
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96speed wrote :
I always greet my date with a nonsexual hug and wish them well with a hug. As long as your clean and don't stink, there isn't really a way for you to go wrong with that. Its more intimate than a handshake, but offers a little contact for you both. Plus, every now and then you get a whiff of one of the best things ever--that fresh, just-shampoo'd woman's hair smell--without being a creep. Mmmmm .

Throwing the arm over the shoulder, unless is timed perfectly, just seems like a creep move like you'd see in the movies. Again, unless the timing is perfect, it seems like you're just waiting for the right time to put the moves on and women know this. Then again, showing initiative with confidence is sometimes a turnon for women. I'd play it safe until the comfort level for both parties goes up and not worry about how physical I should be. That will come in time with the right one.

Ryan
Whew! I completely agree with you about the arm move being creepy. Plus, I never know what to do...it's dead weight around my neck. I always feel bad for the teenage girls in the mall who have to bend down a bit because a) their bf's arm is either too heavy or b) he's too short. Guys, don't do the arm thing. It's awkward. Holding a girl's hand or giving a hug is much better
- May 25th, 2009, 05:59 pm
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The human touch is a nifty, wonderful thing- but only if it is something we are comfortable with. Personally, I don’t greet (for the first time) with a touch- no handshake, no hug, definitely no kiss until I get a feel for how things are going and how receptive she is. Later on touching- handholding, etc., is a good start for me.

And guys, you can also cheat. Be assertive and start walking first (wherever you are going)-- but take her hand and if she doesn’t immediately follow, let go. If you are holding hands when walking, pay attention to how close to you she stands. Closer is better (unless you’re late and -running- *grin*). A light touch on the arm or upper back to get her attention works, too.

I did this on a museum first date, so there were lots of opportunities for a quick, light touch. Don’t go overboard on it, but let her know you’re there. That’s a good thing about museums, art galleries, and any place you walk around and look at stuff on a first date: it’s low pressure, you have plenty of space, and it gives both people opportunity to practice some initiative. Might be that *she’s* wanting to touch *you* as well. *grin*
- June 19th, 2009, 02:22 pm
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Completely agree with below , love the wording and wisdom of the blue highlighted!.A warm non-sexual hug is a great way to get a sense of things.
96speed wrote :
I always greet my date with a nonsexual hug and wish them well with a hug. As long as your clean and don't stink, there isn't really a way for you to go wrong with that. Its more intimate than a handshake, but offers a little contact for you both. Plus, every now and then you get a whiff of one of the best things ever--that fresh, just-shampoo'd woman's hair smell--without being a creep. Mmmmm .

Throwing the arm over the shoulder, unless is timed perfectly, just seems like a creep move like you'd see in the movies. Again, unless the timing is perfect, it seems like you're just waiting for the right time to put the moves on and women know this. Then again, showing initiative with confidence is sometimes a turn on for women. I'd play it safe until the comfort level for both parties goes up and not worry about how physical I should be. That will come in time with the right one.

Ryan
- June 19th, 2009, 02:35 pm
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