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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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scarlet13 How many Fates turn around in the overtime?

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FaithNGod wrote :
I am interested in knowing how many of you women out their think about your kiss on your wedding day? How many of you wish that to be your first contact you had prior to your wedding day? How many of you think about the anticipation leading up to your first physical touch in the form of a kiss and wounder how that would be?

I know that their has to be many of you because I am a man and I think about such things and desire them for my self. So what would keep you from achieving such a goal? Would it be fear or rejection?

I have married friends who had no physical contact with his future wife to be and they have a wounderful fulfilling relationship. He is a mans, man just like me. What a testimony of love and devotion to eachother. Do you think they have any question of eachother's faithfulness?

I dont know about you ladies but I dream of the day I could plant one tender and honest kiss on the lips of my new bride in the witness of our loved ones and God in heaven.
personally, i don't really care if i get married or not. i would like to be in a long term relationship but marriage i can take or leave.

just because someone does not wait until their wedding day to kiss their life partner, does not affect their degree of faithfulness to their partner.
- September 27th, 2009, 05:49 pm
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scarlet13 wrote :
personally, i don't really care if i get married or not. i would like to be in a long term relationship but marriage i can take or leave.

just because someone does not wait until their wedding day to kiss their life partner, does not affect their degree of faithfulness to their partner.
Omg, who the heck waits till their wedding day to kiss their partner? or waits for the nookie?
What planet are we on?
- September 27th, 2009, 06:10 pm
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scarlet13 How many Fates turn around in the overtime?

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melman wrote :
OK, so how should this belief be expressed so that you won't disrespect it by calling it holier-than-thou or pharisaical?

It's a valid belief, held by many. Even if it's almost impossible to discuss in public because hostile reactions such as yours are almost always immediate.
the way the post was worded gave me the impression that the poster considers anyone engaging in any type of intimate behavior before marriage untrustworthy or somehow calling their faithfulness into question.

considering that gays cannot marry in most states in this country that position is ridiculous. i know many same sex couples in long term successful relationships, BTW.

here's the thing. most people who do not hold the same beliefs as the poster don't judge people with those beliefs- personally i could care less. i respect their beliefs but don't agree with them. however, most of the people that hold these beliefs don't share that non-judgemental attitude, implying that everyone else is somehow bad or wrong or impure or whatever.
- September 27th, 2009, 06:19 pm
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First of all I was speaking from my heart. I am sorry if that makes any one feel inferrior in any way that was not my intention. I was also was not inferring that you need to refrain from physical touch prior to marriage to have a faithful marriage.

If having pysical contact prior to marriage is so great why are the statistics showing greater failure rates of relationships of those who live together and have premarital sex.

I also guess that having physical contact has been sucessful for you.

I much rather aspire to something greater than just go along with what everyone is doing. You have the choice to do the same or not.

Thankyou for those who have defended my opinion. Thankyou for those who have rejected my opinion as well. When it comes to your own personal actions you will reap the fruit of those decisions good or bad. I have learned that i reap good or bad in my own life and try to make the best decisions I know how.

These are my thoughts concerning this thread and you have the freedom to agree or disagree.
- September 27th, 2009, 06:53 pm
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FaithNGod wrote :
First of all I was speaking from my heart. I am sorry if that makes any one feel inferrior in any way that was not my intention. I was also was not inferring that you need to refrain from physical touch prior to marriage to have a faithful marriage.
I didn't pick up any 'holier than thou' attitude from your post. My only caution is it sounded like you're building up an image of the 'kiss' and 'physical contact' to be a big fantasy. Of course physical intimacy is great....but if you spend years building up expectations of how great it's going to be one day....you may very well be disappointed. Things just are what they are....rather than the fantasies we build them up to be.
- September 27th, 2009, 06:58 pm
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go ahead and link those statistics. though i bet i could show the flaws in that study.

it's statements like these that show that you clearly think that someone not agreeing with you is inferior.

wrote :
I much rather aspire to something greater than just go along with what everyone is doing
and? who doesn't?

I respect your beliefs. i only ask for the same consideration from you.
Last edited by scarlet13; September 27th, 2009 at 07:03 pm.
- September 27th, 2009, 07:00 pm
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FaithNGod wrote :
I much rather aspire to something greater than just go along with what everyone is doing. You have the choice to do the same or not.
That's the kind of attitude I'm referring too. We come from a pretty similar background faith-wise, and I think than presenting a "no physical contact before marriage" approach as "greater" is:

1) Not supported by scripture in any definitive way

2) is extremely condescending to those who approach their relationship in a godly way but not according to this external standard to set up by some

I should reiterate that I'm not knocking the decision at all: it has some very valid advantages. I did, however, chose the word "Pharisaical" for a very specific reason: the Pharisees engaged in a kind of legalism that piled up rules upon rules beyond that which was found in the law and told others that they had to live up to this new standard to be truly good or faithful.

Again, I think it's great if you feel called to a non-contact approach to relationships....I think it's engaging in a level of legalism/judgment not supported by scripture to say that it demonstrates lesser faithfulness or commitment to show any physical affection before marriage.
- September 27th, 2009, 07:28 pm
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What is wrong with a kiss? If I allow you to kiss me on the first date...what does that mean to you, guys? Or shockingly....if I kiss you...
Honestly, will you respect me less? Do you think I'm going to be easy or that this relationship is about sex?
Please guys...don't hold back! Let us girls know.
- September 28th, 2009, 12:18 am
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Yeah, yeah... and what if you don't allow a kiss on the first date? Then I go home feeling worse than if the date had been a total disaster.

Don't imagine for a second that this is easy stuff.
- September 28th, 2009, 07:16 am
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WintersEnd wrote :
What is wrong with a kiss? If I allow you to kiss me on the first date...what does that mean to you, guys? Or shockingly....if I kiss you...
Honestly, will you respect me less? Do you think I'm going to be easy or that this relationship is about sex?
Kissing on the first date certainly doesn't make me think a woman is easy or that the relationship is only about sex. Though I'd say the opposite is also true. If a woman is very reluctant to do anything physical early on (i.e. kiss or even hold hands) then I'll think she's the opposite of easy. Though....in the past I've found that once a woman like this gets past this initial reluctance....look out! I've never had a woman initiate a first kiss though.
- September 28th, 2009, 08:35 am
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