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chawks64 chawks64 is online now
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Flour wrote :
Yes, but you can seem interested without physical contact. In some ways, less physical contact can be better as it implies you're interested in them for reasons other than their physical appearance. And if that's genuine, well that's even better, no?
Trust me, I can tell if a guy only wants me for "that", but I think he needs to be attracted to me intellectually, emotionally AND physically. It's the love hat trick.

Hitting a double just doesn't do it for me.

Maybe I'm a little sensitive to this because the last man I dated barely wanted to kiss me after 8 dates, and he only held my hand once, on the 3rd date. For me, that just doesn't feel right. Restraining yourself is fine. Not wanting anything in the first place is not a good way to start a romance.
- September 24th, 2009, 06:32 pm
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A first date? How much contact? Hmm....I think possibly a handshake should suffice. Anything more is an assumption that
could go well, or go bad. I think safe is always best. Chemistry will
guide the rest, one step at a time.

Sharon
- September 24th, 2009, 06:51 pm
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Depending upon how well the communication has gone prior to the first date, I would expect some kind of contact. A hand-shake just would not get it for me - I'm not a man. Kiss my hand, maybe. Kiss my cheek, more likely. Hug and a quick peck on the cheek now we are talking. Then again I am a very touchy-feely type of person.

If during the course of the date the click happens, expect more contact. I love to hold hands, hug, put your arm around me. Show me some affection. At the end, a hug and smooch is great if it comes to that and we both fee comfortable. If not so be it. We are adults after all, no?

Have a blessed day everyone.

Sue
- September 24th, 2009, 07:10 pm
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Flour Flour is offline
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wrote :
Maybe I'm a little sensitive to this because the last man I dated barely wanted to kiss me after 8 dates, and he only held my hand once, on the 3rd date. For me, that just doesn't feel right. Restraining yourself is fine. Not wanting anything in the first place is not a good way to start a romance.
Yea, that's a bit ridiculous, I can't blame you. I couldn't do that if I was attracted to the other person at all.
- September 24th, 2009, 07:52 pm
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Flour wrote :
Yes, but you can seem interested without physical contact. In some ways, less physical contact can be better as it implies you're interested in them for reasons other than their physical appearance. And if that's genuine, well that's even better, no?
Thankyou, Its good to see that someone else gets it also.
- September 24th, 2009, 09:09 pm
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Just how much physical contact is appropriate on a first date? Looks like a simple enough question. After reading many of the posts in this thread I guess it's not so simple. Damn, now I'm confused.
At the most I shake hands when first meeting on a first date, no matter if it's a blind date or we've been communicating for a while like through EH. Problem with that is I was taught to have a firm hand shake so I have to concentrate on not hurting her hand, that would be a bad first impression. I enjoy physical contact if I'm actually dating someone but until then I like my personal space and I respect my dates personal space as well. Definately no arm around the shoulder or anywhere else on the first date, I don't care what kind of signal I think she might be sending. No sense doing anything that you're going to regret the next day.
- September 24th, 2009, 10:16 pm
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After reading everyones post, I seem like a sex go getter from my post hahahahaha. Everyone is going to be different. I know my age group is way different from older ones. You do what feels right for the BOTH of you. All my dates (except for one) have always had a hug at least. I have NEVER done the handshake thing. I will do it if presented with that, but I have always gotten a hug.
- September 25th, 2009, 01:11 am
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FaithNGod wrote :
Actually He meant genitals touching. Who did I make blush? And since I am of Jewish blood It couldnt be gentiles touching
Sorry about the gender confusion, but I knew what you meant.
- September 25th, 2009, 08:24 am
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I have trouble with this one. I hear over and over that hugs and even kisses are okay and even expected on a first date, but I've never been completely comfortable with this. Over the years I've gotten over my fear of hugging someone who isn't family, or really close, but it still takes me a long time to get to the point where I'm comfortable holding someone's hand or kissing. Once I'm past the point where I'm certain that my physical contact is welcome and wanted, I have no problem with it. Just the initial. I have all these thoughts swirling around in my head keeping me from making a move for a long time. Thoughts about whether I misread her body language and the ensuing confusion, because I'm generally a nice guy and I'd hate to send the wrong message. At the same time I'm probably sending a message that I'm not interested when I actually am!

I'm working on getting past this, but it's taking some time.
- September 25th, 2009, 11:12 am
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Wootz wrote :
The human touch is a nifty, wonderful thing- but only if it is something we are comfortable with. Personally, I don’t greet (for the first time) with a touch- no handshake, no hug, definitely no kiss until I get a feel for how things are going and how receptive she is. Later on touching- handholding, etc., is a good start for me.

And guys, you can also cheat. Be assertive and start walking first (wherever you are going)-- but take her hand and if she doesn’t immediately follow, let go. If you are holding hands when walking, pay attention to how close to you she stands. Closer is better (unless you’re late and -running- *grin*). A light touch on the arm or upper back to get her attention works, too.

I did this on a museum first date, so there were lots of opportunities for a quick, light touch. Don’t go overboard on it, but let her know you’re there. That’s a good thing about museums, art galleries, and any place you walk around and look at stuff on a first date: it’s low pressure, you have plenty of space, and it gives both people opportunity to practice some initiative. Might be that *she’s* wanting to touch *you* as well. *grin*
I totally agree with Wootz! I'm generally not a shy person but I am when it comes to guys. So going on a date takes a lot of courage, plus I don't want to get into something I know might be going nowhere. I normally get asked by guys I've known through friends, work etc. and have had many a conversation with. So by the time they ask I have a good idea on whether I would give a date a go which, to me, implies considering a proper relationship. So when I do agree to go on a date, I'm pretty nervous as I don't go into it light-heartedly.
All in all, I therefore find it easier for the man to take the lead, with me giving off signals like walking close etc. I think Wootz has got the right idea, even though some folks might think gentleman behavior's out of fashion. It would certainly work for a girl lik me.
- September 25th, 2009, 01:39 pm
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