blablabla19 is offline blablabla19 Post #1  May 22,2009, 1:05pm
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Ok everyone, I have a question for you all...

On Tuesday I had an awesome date with someone I met on match, she is going through a big schedule change and told me she wouldn't be able to do anything again until this upcoming week, when that will be we never really decided, she just said she would call me and that she would like to go bowling. After our date I sent her a text message to make sure she got home ok (we went out for drinks) and told her she could call or text me whenever she wanted to, we said good night, end of date.

Now my question to all of you is should I call / text her before then and just see how she is doing and let her know I am still interested or should I let her initiate communication? I really want this to work out so I would really appreciate any advice folks!
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #2  May 22,2009, 1:21pm
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Give it time...you're going to sound needy and clingy if you keep blowing her up for plans. I wouldn't let a week go by without at least a 5 min conversation on the phone but thats it.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #3  May 22,2009, 1:26pm
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Wait about a week, and if she hasn't contacted you by then drop her a line to see how she's doing. She stated that she wanted to do a specific activity. It still doesn't seem clear from your post who is supposed to initiate, but when in doubt it will have to be you.

Good luck.
 
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redevil999 is offline redevil999 Post #4  May 22,2009, 1:42pm
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You texted after the date, she said she would call you and you told her to call/text whenever she wanted. You probably should have set definite plans, but you didn't (maybe because her schedule was up in the air...).

Step back and take a deep breath. It's time for her to show some interest.


If you haven't heard from her in a few days, you could call and wish her a happy Memorial Day... Or since most bowling alleys have league play, you could just call to find out what days/nights she'll be available so you can check on vacant lanes.
 
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MommyGetCoffee is offline MommyGetCoffee Post #5  May 22,2009, 5:09pm
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IMHO, when in doubt, the gentleman should call. Give it a few days from your last communication and call to invite her out. She can always let you know whether/when she's free. But take the reins and say, "Hey, do you want to go bowling on Saturday evening? I'd like to take you to dinner, too. . . " Or something to that effect.

Have fun!
 
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blablabla19 is offline blablabla19 Post #6  May 22,2009, 5:50pm
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tbesq wrote :
Wait about a week, and if she hasn't contacted you by then drop her a line to see how she's doing. She stated that she wanted to do a specific activity. It still doesn't seem clear from your post who is supposed to initiate, but when in doubt it will have to be you.

Good luck.
Yeah I don't really know who is supposed to initiate it myself lol. SHE brought up the idea for bowling for our second meeting, but didn't really seem to know when that would be, just sometime this week.

I guess the whole thing I am worried about is contacting her too early (she'll think I'm too clingy) or not soon enough (I end up in the dreaded friend zone). But I will just take everyone's advice and wait it out a few more days, then throw her a line.

Thanks everyone, you've all been a great help!
 
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JoJoBean is offline JoJoBean Post #7  May 22,2009, 8:35pm
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I think you should call her sometime this weekend, I believe you said you went out Tue. night , so give her a call.
 
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chapgirl is offline chapgirl Post #8  May 22,2009, 9:08pm
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Yeah, I don't see a problem with giving her a call this weekend, even if it is to say," I hope the rest of your week went well, and that it dawned on me that we didn't establish who would make arrangements for bowling. Do you want me to do that, or would you like to?"

It lets her know that you are thinking about her, that you are remembering that she was going to have a busy week, and it is negotiating the arrangements, not being too controlling, and listening to her preference.
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #9  May 22,2009, 10:47pm
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Ok you met someone new that you really like and you're all excited. That's wonderful.

However, the tone of your post sounds like you are overthinking things a bit. So I suggest you step back a little here and think over what she said.

She wants to see you again, but is busy this week...and she said she would call you. So basically call her early next week after the holiday weekend.

Also, don't leave her options so wide open like you did "call me or text me whenever you want." That's basically saying hey I'm always available for you so take me for granted. Not a good message.

Usually when I'm dating a woman, I'll tell her when I'll call again. That way, she knows when to expect my next call, and I'm not waiting around for her to decide if/when she wants to call me. If she calls or otherwise contacts me before then...that's great. Plus I think most women like it when the guy is assertive, not asking her to call or when she'll call, but instead taking the initiative and saying when he'll call her.

So in this case, she says let's go bowling next time, but I'm busy this week, then my response is ok, then I'll give you call next Tuesday after Memorial Day and we'll talk about some great bowling spots around town to check out.
Last edited by robv_la; May 22,2009 at 10:50pm.
 
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sc4me is offline sc4me Post #10  May 23,2009, 4:52pm
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redevil999 wrote :
You texted after the date, she said she would call you and you told her to call/text whenever she wanted. You probably should have set definite plans, but you didn't (maybe because her schedule was up in the air...).

Step back and take a deep breath. It's time for her to show some interest.


If you haven't heard from her in a few days, you could call and wish her a happy Memorial Day... Or since most bowling alleys have league play, you could just call to find out what days/nights she'll be available so you can check on vacant lanes.
Yep. +1
 
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