Fate... is there such a thing?


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greatstuff2009 is offline greatstuff2009 Post #1  May 21,2009, 12:48pm
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Since joining EH I get this question an awful lot. Yesterday... I got a text message from an old high school friend that I found on facebook. I had the BIGGEST crush on him and he admitted to having one me as well but it's been 15 years... we haven't seen or spoken to each other since then. He was working last night and could not talk but we went back and forth texting for 5 hours! I am in my 30's - I don't do this with my friends! By the end we talked about fate. He's bringing this up... not I. He is coming out to visit in about 3 weeks and I am just thrilled. I have never just clicked like this before. According to him he hasn't either and my instinct says to go for it. I realize this is a frenzy and will fizzle but I can't stop whirling. It feels so good! We complete each other sentences, have both been married, from the same tiny town, moved to big citied, we are both successful, considered 'attractive' and work many, many hours. Am I just crazy?!?! I want the chance to just let go and enjoy. I will continue to date other people but I can see myself falling hard, fast. Could it be fate... is there such a thing?!??
 
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Blackadder is offline Blackadder Post #2  May 21,2009, 1:32pm
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I don't believe in fate, that things are pre-destined to happen a certain way. If that was the case, whatever you do will always turn out the same way, so what would be the point of doing anything? You probably feel the way to do because you're going back to someone who's familiar and someone that obviously had a special place in your heart. That they are so open and receptive to you is bonus and great! Sharing some of the same experiences helps. The main thing is that you have found each other again, although I don't know what happened back then. Maybe you never took the opportunity back then to really know one another and see that spark or make that click. Now that you're older and more mature you can express your feelings better and not be held back by high school age emotions, peer pressures or embarrassments. I hope things work out. Have fun, just don't force anything, be yourself and let things flow naturally.

Sometimes the right person for us is right under our nose while our sights are out on the horizon. In the immortal words of Ferris Beuller, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
 
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stillthesame is offline stillthesame Post #3  May 21,2009, 1:59pm
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i do believe in fate, however its a combination of freewill and fate in life thats hard to figure out sometimes.
i say hey, you know what, go out, get to know each other again, you never know what might happen.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #4  May 21,2009, 2:15pm
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greatstuff2009 is offline greatstuff2009 Post #5  May 21,2009, 2:23pm
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Blackadder wrote :
I don't believe in fate, that things are pre-destined to happen a certain way. If that was the case, whatever you do will always turn out the same way, so what would be the point of doing anything? You probably feel the way to do because you're going back to someone who's familiar and someone that obviously had a special place in your heart. That they are so open and receptive to you is bonus and great! Sharing some of the same experiences helps. The main thing is that you have found each other again, although I don't know what happened back then. Maybe you never took the opportunity back then to really know one another and see that spark or make that click. Now that you're older and more mature you can express your feelings better and not be held back by high school age emotions, peer pressures or embarrassments. I hope things work out. Have fun, just don't force anything, be yourself and let things flow naturally.

Sometimes the right person for us is right under our nose while our sights are out on the horizon. In the immortal words of Ferris Beuller, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Hmmm... I'm not if my definition of fate is the same. I do see your point though. I can't agree more with you about actually stopping to see life. I think i've tried to force things that seemed 'right' but passed up on something directly in front of me. He agreed not to force anything. Just kind of go with it. I am just finally at a point in life where I'm not so afraid. I just hope I don't build up expectations that can;t be met. How do you do that? Just keeping busy I guess?
 
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greatstuff2009 is offline greatstuff2009 Post #6  May 21,2009, 2:26pm
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stillthesame wrote :
i do believe in fate, however its a combination of freewill and fate in life thats hard to figure out sometimes.
i say hey, you know what, go out, get to know each other again, you never know what might happen.
it is a fine balance isn't it? I just know i don't want to be alone but i don't to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone. is it fate we ran into each other all these years later??? He's 4 years older, we never spoke in high school. he was in college and visiting home on breaks. I dated his cousin in high school... I don't know but i am so ready to see him and find out. I just have to wait 3 weeks. Ack!
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #7  May 21,2009, 2:33pm
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I don't believe in fate or destiny. But, I do believe in opportunities, and it sounds like you've got one that you're going for!

It remains to be seen whether the butterflies you're feeling now are anything more than that, but yours would not be the first case of people from high school reuniting romantically years later (I think there are more than a few stories from high school reunions...lol). As blackadder said, there can be a comfort level with someone who knew you "when"; you just don't have to explain yourself in ways that you would to someone new.

I hope all goes well for you.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #8  May 21,2009, 2:33pm
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No such thing.

Meeting at random a person from your past is chance. Nothing more, nothing less.

Feeling “giddy” is biology. Nothing more, nothing less. Enjoy!
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #9  May 21,2009, 2:34pm

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first of all i hope this turns out well for you.

secondly, i don't believe in fate. i do think that the universe puts things in our path and it's up to us to decide what happens after.
 
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greatstuff2009 is offline greatstuff2009 Post #10  May 21,2009, 2:35pm
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neardc wrote :
I don't believe in fate or destiny. But, I do believe in opportunities, and it sounds like you've got one that you're going for!

It remains to be seen whether the butterflies you're feeling now are anything more than that, but yours would not be the first case of people from high school reuniting romantically years later (I think there are more than a few stories from high school reunions...lol). As blackadder said, there can be a comfort level with someone who knew you "when"; you just don't have to explain yourself in ways that you would to someone new.

I hope all goes well for you.
Thanks - I can't resist. Now I remember how I talked on the phone for hours as a teeny bobber about nothing but it made me so happy! Fingers and toes crossed for me!
 
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