Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
lucky173's Avatar

lucky173 says "Life is a garden... dig it!!" :-)

Veteran

Join Date: Feb 2008

Posts: 1,377

See profile

Exactly. I guess I'm not used to this sort of thing, so it threw me a bit. In all of my on-off relationship with EH, I've never had a match start off OC like that. It's always been a quick, friendly, straightforward
note to say hi. The one other thing that caught my attention about this guy was that on his profile, for his occupation he put "tell you later." Now I'm not one to pick and choose a guy based on his career, but what's with all the secrecy? I mean, is this guy in the Mafia or something?

I didn’t realize the guy started the very first message in OC with this. Was there anything else to his initial message or was this it in its entirety??

As far as his occupation being listed as ‘’tell you later”, I don’t think that is so bad, as long as he makes it a point to actually tell you later. There are a few ways I could list my occupation, and though they would be accurate each also could be slightly misleading depending upon assumptions the reader may make on their own regarding the “title” of the position. I’ve also been surprised to learn how many people aren’t familiar with the business I’m involved in if I just say what I do, or think it has something to do with an entirely different field. More often than not, I’ve been asked to explain it. Perhaps something similar is the case with him?
- May 20th, 2009, 04:38 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#11   Reply With Quote
DancingFool's Avatar

DancingFool wishes the rain would go away...

Veteran

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 1,756

See profile

He is being creative but also testing out your sense of humor and creativity as well.
- May 20th, 2009, 04:56 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#12   Reply With Quote
goldengirl7676's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 123

See profile

lucky173 wrote :
I didn’t realize the guy started the very first message in OC with this. Was there anything else to his initial message or was this it in its entirety??

As far as his occupation being listed as ‘’tell you later”, I don’t think that is so bad, as long as he makes it a point to actually tell you later. There are a few ways I could list my occupation, and though they would be accurate each also could be slightly misleading depending upon assumptions the reader may make on their own regarding the “title” of the position. I’ve also been surprised to learn how many people aren’t familiar with the business I’m involved in if I just say what I do, or think it has something to do with an entirely different field. More often than not, I’ve been asked to explain it. Perhaps something similar is the case with him?
That was the message in its entirety, which I thought was a little odd.
- May 20th, 2009, 06:23 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#13   Reply With Quote
BlueberriesandWine's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 34

See profile

DancingFool wrote :
He is being creative but also testing out your sense of humor and creativity as well.
I agree. He is trying to distinguish himself from the other guys you may be talking to, and he also wants to see what you are made of. You gotta give him an E for effort. I would have fun with it!
- May 20th, 2009, 06:36 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#14   Reply With Quote
toxicgonzo's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 46

See profile

That's a better opener than "Hi, how are you?"

I'd give him an A for effort, but possibly a C for execution. It's not the best opener, it seems a little too personal.
- May 20th, 2009, 06:49 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#15   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

lucky173's Avatar

lucky173 says "Life is a garden... dig it!!" :-)

Veteran

Join Date: Feb 2008

Posts: 1,377

See profile

That was the message in its entirety, which I thought was a little odd.

Umm, yeahh, no, this would even strike me as odd for an entire first message in OC, and I’m usually all for creative introductions!

Still taking into account previous communication, I might address it with an equally creative (although slightly sarcastic humored) approach, and put the ball back into his court, so to speak.


“You’re correct, this is an interesting question. Considering Dear Abby is an advice columnist, perhaps you would consider giving me some insight into what potential problems you may foresee arising during our first meeting that I would need to seek advice about?”


I would leave that as my message in its entirety. The guy will either ‘play along’ and answer your question, or he will not respond. OR he’ll send a different kind of email altogether. You may get a better indication from any response if this initial message of his is an indication of his sense of humor, or a sense of creativity (as has been suggested) or a sense of vagueness, OR if he really IS expecting there to be some problems to occur upon a first meeting.

We’re all just taking guesses here why he sent that message in the first place. Only real way of trying to get a better feel for where he’s going with it is to respond to him in *some* kind of manner.


Let us know though, now I’m curious!

Last edited by lucky173; May 20th, 2009 at 07:28 am. Reason: not sure!
- May 20th, 2009, 07:26 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#16   Reply With Quote
glassonlyhalffull_fillit's Avatar

glassonlyhalffull_fillit Love being part of two again

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 2,015

See profile

OK, a third match has now reached the point of OC. He is the one who initiated things and has now sent me a message, but I don't know if I am to take it as creativity on his part or think of it as just being a little odd.

Here's what he wrote:

Here is an interesting question. If you were gonna write a letter to Dear Abby about our first meeting what would it say? Mr. X (not his real name)

So no hi, how-are-you or anything like that. I'm not sure how I am supposed to respond to this one. I haven't even gotten to talk/e-mail with the guy yet and he's asking me what I would say to Dear Abby about our first meeting? I don't get it.
Dear Abby, I met a fan of yours. I am considering a second date with him. He is a man of little words, but he realized how wonderful I am!
- May 20th, 2009, 08:07 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#17   Reply With Quote
choiceweb0pen0's Avatar

Pacesetter

Join Date: Feb 2008

Posts: 287

See profile

I would take it as a creative approach to OC. That first e-mail can be awkward, after the previous steps of guided communication.

Personally I would have trouble not writing some kind of satire, about how my date was late, spilled coffee on me, then went to the bathroom and never came back.
- May 20th, 2009, 08:33 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#18   Reply With Quote
DancingFool's Avatar

DancingFool wishes the rain would go away...

Veteran

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 1,756

See profile

The fact that the OP is getting into such a funk over this makes me wonder if they are not a good match after all. Personally when I see something like that, it brightens my day and would not send me to the boards for advice. As so many posters have said, it just begs for a humorous response.
- May 20th, 2009, 09:22 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#19   Reply With Quote
lil_lamb's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 1,267

See profile

"dear abby, a guy i'm talking to through an online personals site posed this exercise - if i were to write to you about a first meeting with him, what would i write?

abby, what would i write?"
- May 20th, 2009, 09:47 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#20   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
eHarmony Profile Workshop - Question 2: What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful? eHA_Admin_Lori Using eHarmony 83 January 26th, 2010 08:02 am
a classic question - what does it mean if a girl says she's busy arcenciel Dating 39 January 14th, 2010 11:53 am
Question about First Messages: Wafflehouse Using eHarmony 3 May 17th, 2009 09:12 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Dude, whatever. Again, I used to be exactly where you are and am simply trying to explain to you the harsh truths about what you are doing wrong. From your posts it is clear to me that what you ... ” – slaw

Join the “She broke my heart, but is it my fault?” discussion

“Aw Katie, I hope it didn't come off as "don't go any further!!!! be cautious and suspicious!" Not what I meant at all lol.I was just being that little "conscience" thing on the shoulder that shows ... ” – richey

Join the “Saturday Night Date” discussion

“ya i dont' know what to make of it either. He could be messin when he says that, or he could be a scorned man thinking women "play", or maybe he was here for the last 2 weeks and is now convinced ... ” – richey

Join the “He asks me if I'm allowed to call boys??? What??” discussion

“A have to agree, it's desperate, it's unecesary, the English language provides plenty of opportunities to be lighthearted, playful, sensual, sexy, straightforward f = self-limiting and after age 17, ... ” – PenguinOne

Join the “The F*Bomb!! On a FIRST Date? Are we Cool like that!!” discussion

“I have to agree with Richey on this. To me, if someone said stop talking I would be seriously ticked off. You need to discuss this with him in a non emotional way. If you are going on and on he ... ” – tjlpd

Join the “Stop Talking” discussion

“I am so happy for you Scarlett and Peg!! You know w hat? There are a lot of goofballs on POF, but at least you have the opportunity to look through the many matches on there and find someone that ... ” – peg099

Join the “Monday, February 8th weekend and date roundup!” discussion

“I don't think a nudge is a one-time thing. You just have to wait a week until you send another one. This is not true. You get one Nudge "per Stage". This is why it is very important to save them ... ” – ScottK

Join the “Close or leave open?” discussion

“Parakeet - it sounds like things are moving along for you two. I would not worry about facebook friends. It would be like someone I dated worrying about my friends here on eHa. Enjoy.” – LizziePooh

Join the “Female Facebook Friends. Need Advice.” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:59 pm.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0