Ladies, would you date a guy who recently became unemployed?


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kyjohng is offline kyjohng Post #1  May 17,2009, 8:08pm
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Ladies,

Would you make contact or even date a man who was unemployed - due to a recent layoff - if you found his profile otherwise interesting?

I am asking this because I was recently let go and am debating whether or not I should be back out in the dating world at this time or wait until I have a sense of direction both work wise and financially.

Looking forward to your responses.

Thanks!
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #2  May 17,2009, 8:24pm
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You might want to check out this thread that posed a similar question: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...fessional.html (DATING AS AN UNEMPLOYED PROFESSIONAL)

I would say that it's not a deal breaker, but depends on a lot of different factors: his current financial situation (how able he is to weather the loss of income), the nature of his work (e.g., some types of work are more cyclical or prone to periodic layoffs), what he's doing to find work (is he making an effort to find new employment), his state of mind/emotional health (is he depressed?), etc.

(Good luck with your job search!)
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #3  May 17,2009, 8:29pm
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I would personally wonder why, and then go from there. But he wouldn't necessarily be taken out of the picture until I knew the reason(s) why.
 
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JoJoBean is offline JoJoBean Post #4  May 17,2009, 8:37pm
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It would depend on many things, can he support himself? Is he depressed? Does he see a light at the end of the tunnel? So many people are out of work and I am told we will see more of it. I wish you great luck and a job in the near future.
 
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kyjohng is offline kyjohng Post #5  May 17,2009, 8:40pm
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neardc wrote :
You might want to check out this thread that posed a similar question: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...fessional.html (DATING AS AN UNEMPLOYED PROFESSIONAL)

I would say that it's not a deal breaker, but depends on a lot of different factors: his current financial situation (how able he is to weather the loss of income), the nature of his work (e.g., some types of work are more cyclical or prone to periodic layoffs), what he's doing to find work (is he making an effort to find new employment), his state of mind/emotional health (is he depressed?), etc.

(Good luck with your job search!)
Thanks for the referral to the similar post; that was interesting reading in its own right thought that poster had a much larger income that mine.

And, thank you for being open minded in your reply.
 
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down2urth is offline down2urth Post #6  May 17,2009, 8:42pm
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This of course is a very individual thing, but I would, but only if:

1. he's honest and up front about his situation.
2. he still shows chivalry in the desire to take me out. there are a lot of inexpensive/free things to do, so if you're not working, taking some time to find interesting art shows/outdoor concerts, etc. says a lot about your character.
3. he is still able to focus on being in, and developing a relationship. i've learned that many men have a hard time having more than one focus, and earning a living usually takes precedence. if he is (or you are) able to do both, then i'd say that's pretty impressive.
4. it's pretty clear that he's driven and been able to accomplish things, and that he does have a clear career path.

It's a pretty rough economy right now, so I think people (women) are going to be pretty understanding. Good luck to you!
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #7  May 17,2009, 8:50pm
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On the opposite side, I would be willing to date a lady who was unemployed. It happens to the best of us at times. Best wishes to you and I hope that you find a job. I see that like me you are also in the IT field, and so surely you will manage to find something. Perhaps something in the banking industry because of your background in finances. Even in the rough economy those good at what they do can sometimes prevail.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #8  May 17,2009, 11:42pm
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Yes. As long as he is doing something other than sitting around moping. He could look for a new job, go back for more education, volunteer work etc. It's not the unemployment per se which bothers me, it's the men (and women) who do nothing to alter the situation, or see it as an opportunity and just sponge from others. I think it's great you are even reviewing your current situation WRT dating, as the others write, you can take her out inexpensively until you're back in employment. If returning to the workforce is right for you at this time. All the best
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #9  May 18,2009, 2:30am
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To be honest, in the past I’ve closed profiles that listed occupation as “Unemployed”. Reason being – the guy made no further mention anywhere in the profile of *why* he is unemployed. I don’t expect a full blow-by-blow account upfront as to the reasons *why* someone is currently unemployed, but to list that as if it WERE the occupation entirely with no indication if it’s temporary or recent leaves a bad impression.

For me, it’s kind of the same thing as listing ‘disabled’ as the occupation, without giving *some* indication as to the limitations or scope of the disability.


In the past I have dated a man who is unemployed. My last LTR actually, I knew him prior to dating him and he got laid off a few days prior to our first date, was out of work for about 6 months.

Generally speaking it would depend on the man and the situation. As already mentioned in the other posts, a lot of factors to consider, it’s not really a simple “yes I would” or “no I would not” kind of answer.
 
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Work_in_Progress is offline Work_in_Progress Post #10  May 18,2009, 3:34am
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kyjohng wrote :
Ladies,

Would you make contact or even date a man who was unemployed - due to a recent layoff - if you found his profile otherwise interesting?

I am asking this because I was recently let go and am debating whether or not I should be back out in the dating world at this time or wait until I have a sense of direction both work wise and financially.

Looking forward to your responses.

Thanks!

If we seemed like a potentially good match, I would view current/recent unemployment as one detail in the bigger picture, and it wouldn't turn me off unless/until I saw evidence that it was a pattern in your life and/or if there was a lack of effort on your part to find new employment.

Personally, whether a potential match is employed or not, I would tend to have a greater interest in and be watching for signs of overall financial responsibility, regardless of how much or how little he has.

Also, there are lots of things people who aren't focused on money can do in the process of getting to know one another that don't have to cost much, if anything, and some of them are even more fun and more likely to be a good setting for conversation.

Best wishes to you, on the dating scene and in the hunt for new employment!
 
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