I am right or wrong? Tell me what you think please.


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mathelou is offline mathelou Post #1  May 17,2009, 2:14pm
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C'est la vie... :o)

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Hey everybody,

I need help here to figure something out...Thanks in advance for enlightening me with your opinion on the matter

Long story short...Been communicating with this great guy for over a month. Text, msn and phone calls several times a day, almost every day. I drive up to meet him, get in a car accident so I never got the chance to meet him. Upon coming home, he calls me. Gets distracted, so he says he'll call me again later to see how I'm doing. Thing is, he never called back. Not the first time he says he'll call and doesn't. He knew I was pretty shaken up. I figure he's not that into me if I'm not even worth a phone call...so I called it quits. Am I so terribly wrong here? Was I expecting too much??

Guys, if you're interested in a girl, she drives over an hour to meet you, she gets into a car accident...wouldn't you call and see if she's ok if you're interested in pursuing a relationship with her?

Thanks everyone...

I
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 18,2009, 3:01pm
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I am half way thinking you should put this person behind you and move on, and halfway thinking you should not be criticizing him at all.

I suggest that he has probably experienced women flake on him before, and do so with dumb excuses, which may predispose his view of this situation. Okay, you really did ignore the red light (or whatever), and prang your auto, but I suggest putting yourself in his shoes for a while. Many men have had women no-show for the date.

Also, it is bad form to ladle excuses onto the no-show. If you miss / ruin the date, it is your responsibility to reschedule it.

***

When a man says he’ll call, he should do so.

If I am interested in a woman, I call / contact (e-mail, drive to her house, etc). That said, when I get a non-returned communication, or a dumb excuse (“I can’t talk today, I have to get my dog groomed”), I am likely to give up on her.
 
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kahappy is offline kahappy Post #3  May 18,2009, 3:09pm
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I have a feeling he may be thinking you made up the car accident story. I feel badly for suggesting this, as it seems you honestly did get in an accident--glad you are ok!
But he may have had other women bail on first dates with "emergency" excuses and he has the wrong impression here.
Do you think it's possible he didn't believe you?
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #4  May 18,2009, 4:22pm
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I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. But yes, I have had women call to give me reasons why they didn't show up, and they apologize. But when we reschedule, she again doesn't come through. There's just no way to really know. But I guess calling is better than not calling, which is why I generally give it a second chance.
 
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Wondering_Nomad is offline Wondering_Nomad Post #5  May 18,2009, 4:30pm
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If you were in an accident and really shaken up and that is what he did.

Just shout *NEXT*
 
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lenemngk is offline lenemngk Post #6  May 18,2009, 4:44pm
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Maybe it's not that he's not into you. Maybe (like everybody else has said) he thought you were just making up an excuse to not meet him because you had cold feet, a change of heart or you are the one who's not interested in him. But these are all just maybes.

If I were you, I would be doing one of the two things:

1. Move on and assume that he is not into me.

OR

2. Try to initiate a casual conversation through a text message or email and ask what I want to know but subtly. The answer (good or bad) could be my closure.

The best part is, you've only been communicating with him for a month so it probably won't be that hard for you to forget about him and to start pursuing a new match
 
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janissary is offline janissary Post #7  May 19,2009, 5:57am
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What a weirdo and lack of compassion. Even if you were faking the accident, he really should at least text or email to see if you're okay.

If you're really persistent, you could wait a weekend and call him just to say "hi" and casually see how his week has been.

I don't see why, instead of spending 10 or 20 minutes pondering on eHarmony, you can't just spend 5 minutes on the phone and get your answer from him?

It's okay to give people 2 or 3 chances, but anything more than that is a waste of time.
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #8  May 19,2009, 7:28am
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I think you should write him off as being rude, crude and sociably unacceptable.
 
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simpletonHeart70 is offline simpletonHeart70 Post #9  May 19,2009, 7:47am
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If that's the way things went down, he sounds like a jerk.

Someone gets in an accident to see you and you show no concern?

The only thing I can guess is that you were being overzealous about the whole relationship, i.e. why were you going to see him and not just meeting somewhere.

It sounds like he doesn't respect you nor care about you.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  May 19,2009, 7:51am
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Wondering_Nomad wrote :
If you were in an accident and really shaken up and that is what he did.

Just shout *NEXT*
+1
 
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