Should I close this match? Thoughts, please...


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goldengirl7676 is offline goldengirl7676 Post #1  May 17,2009, 7:55am
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One match and I have made it all the way to OC - imagine that!- and have been communicating for awhile now. Trouble is, he has now stopped communicating. It has been five days since I responded back to his last email, but not a peep back from him. I did notice that a day after I sent my last message, he "viewed" my profile. So I am assuming that if he has time to sign in to EH and look over my profile again, he has time to jot out a quick response back. Should I close him out? I think I know what the answer is to that question, but I wanted to hear what others had to say. I guess it just irks me a little because he appears to be yet another poofer. There are getting to be way too many of 'em on EH for me. Boo!
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #2  May 17,2009, 8:02am
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Why close him out yet? 5 days isn't THAT long. Especially if he's communicating with other matches too, he might not had enough time to compose a thoughtful email directly to you.
What do you have to loose by keeping it open and waiting a little longer for him to reply? Do you have a quota on how many matches you can communicate with?
 
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grammar_gal is offline grammar_gal Post #3  May 17,2009, 8:18am
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I would not close him out... just yet. I suppose I am rather curious as to the nature of your last correspondence... that might shed some light.

But I am in agreement with
boccabum
... he could be communicating with other matches... and that is his right. If you close him he will simply shrug and say, oh well, she must have been nuts anyhow. Don't give him the satisfaction.... just leave him there for a while longer.
 
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zeekle is offline zeekle Post #4  May 17,2009, 8:47am
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I like to give them about 2 weeks before I close it out. It does not hurt anything to leave it open. I would keep looking at your other options though
 
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JoJoBean is offline JoJoBean Post #5  May 17,2009, 9:04am
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I would not close him out. Try not to figure out his reasons, that will not serve you well. Go about your life and seek out other matches.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #6  May 17,2009, 9:18am
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I do not see the point in closing a match for lack of communication. Unless the eHarmony algorithm cares and doesn't match me with others because I have a certain number of open matches, than it doesn't make that big of a difference to me. She will either eventually respond or never respond. If I am still looking, it doesn't hurt. Maybe she is talking to other guys, and perhaps going on other dates. Doesn't mean I don't eventually have a chance.
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #7  May 17,2009, 9:43am
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I agree with the other posters. Don't be in such a hurry to close this guy out. There could be a myriad of reasons he has not texted or emailed you so cool it. Do not over analyze things either. Good Luck
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #8  May 17,2009, 3:43pm
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Basically there's a reason for his change in approach, he's gotten less interested in pursuing communications with you. So the obvious question is why?

Did he ask or imply he wanted to talk on the phone with you? If yes and you declined, then he's getting bored with your slowness. If no, then he's not really ready to pursue the next step with you.

In the big picture, you go to online dating site to actually date yes? Obviously that means meeting people in person with whom you might have some connection with. It doesn't mean just corresponding via email...that's a pen pal, not dating.
 
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onert62 is offline onert62 Post #9  May 17,2009, 5:17pm
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I felt I had something the first time I saw this lady with her son, I thought I did everything right, yet I was closed out after my first question, it was a guided communication.... she closed me out right away...and saying other after all we all have to be honest and say other is not even close to an honest answer..... I still a in shock that after all I pay on e Harmony that using the term Other is OK, or when ou find someone they look you over say hi you respond and then they tell you their involved with someone else...why bother sending a "Hi" in the first place????? After being single 47 years although I have dated many liars, thieves, and druggies, alcoholics, and ladies that could only express themselves by writing letter but could not say anything to your face...I am ready to search for that perfect lady and I don't expect other as an answer especially if you find them attractive from the start....my adreess is correct but I use acell phone for everything its a much better deal I could get on any phone line..so how could a lady even check on you too see if you were a real person or made up????
The OTHER is a JOKE to me to be closed out like that..and a ladyseeing some guy should never say hi to another guy and then when he writes back say I'm involved with someone else what's the point to this???? I will find her I know she is out their, and e Harmoney sure beats match.com, chemistry.com and all the other mating.coms ut their..but to use Other as an answer is just plain wrng tell the truth let the guy have his say then if it can't be worked out then close it! Not other and let her close it...without knowing why..what a crock!!!!!
 
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MommyGetCoffee is offline MommyGetCoffee Post #10  May 17,2009, 6:29pm
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Leave it open and continue exploring other options is my $.02, also. After all, this is, to a great extent, a numbers game. Keep communicating with matches, as many as you can, and eventually you'll click with someone. Meanwhile, this person may resume communication. The point, as others have said, is not to worry about why he's been silent. Simply keep busy, happy, and communicating with other matches. Your love will come!
 
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