Ladies -- will you date younger guys?


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stevex is offline stevex Post #1  May 16,2009, 7:57pm
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Not sure if there has been a thread about this in the past or not. But it is an interesting question. As I mentioned in another thread recently, I am nearing 21; however, most of the women I am matched with on eHarmony are 3-4 years older than I am. My ex was 5 years older than I. I think part of this is that most guys my age are not looking for a real relationship but rather sex buddies (to put it nicely). I have never been that kind of guy, I have thought about becoming that kind of guy but I don't think I would be happy in the end. The problem is, I have encountered a lot of women who want older guys. So I am curious, do you date younger guys or if you don't what is your reasoning.
 
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islandrain80 is offline islandrain80 Post #2  May 16,2009, 8:09pm
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I prefer older men. Always have, think it's because I want someone who is where I'm at in life (or close to). I haven't dated many men, but I did date one who was younger by 4 years. He wasn't where I was at (financially, emotionally, etc) so when it came to wanting a relationship he poofed.

That was over a year ago. Recently he got back in contact with me, said he was looking for a long term relationship. And I think he's maturity level actually went down in that year. This time around he didn't call, couldn't make plans but would flirt at work. What?

So I took the initiative, thinking he was shy maybe, and asked him out. I got told to "ask tomorrow". Thanks, but bye.

I know you shouldn't base your entire idea's on one experience, but it's not easy to avoid.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #3  May 16,2009, 8:14pm
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Happily. But then, I'm old enough to be your mother's older sister, so in a completely different demographic...lol.

The older I get, the more interested I am in finding someone around my age or younger. There are two reasons for that. One is simply that, if I'm going to find a loving relationship at this stage of life, I want to increase the odds that I'll be able to enjoy it as long as possible (no guarantees, I know, but my time with someone 15 or 20 years older is much more likely to be limited). No matter what his age, I also want someone who has a youthful attitude. Now, someone can be a fuddy duddy at 30 and youthful and vibrant in many ways at 90, but generally speaking, someone younger rather than older is going to be able to enjoy an active lifestyle for longer.

Around your age, women are more likely to look for someone older for a variety of reasons (they really can't go much younger without getting into trouble!). But, as you've already learned, it's still possible to have someone a little older be interested in you despite the age difference.
 
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Sunshine_7 is offline Sunshine_7 Post #4  May 16,2009, 8:19pm
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I like dating guys around my age -- say within 5 years or so either younger or older. I think, for most people, the datable age range gets larger over time. When you're 21, a woman who is 24 may seem a lot older. When you're 41, a woman who is 44 is your age. One of my best friends got married at 31 to a guy who was then 25; they're happily married (with two kids) 10 years later.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #5  May 16,2009, 8:26pm
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@islanddrain80:

I am sorry to hear about your bad experience. Actually my ex had had a bad experience with a guy who was 4 years younger than her before she dated me and she expressed concern before our first date but told me she was going to give me a chance. In the end, after a year of dating, it didn't work out. But it wasn't age that split us up.

neardc wrote :
Around your age, women are more likely to look for someone older for a variety of reasons (they really can't go much younger without getting into trouble!). But, as you've already learned, it's still possible to have someone a little older be interested in you despite the age difference.
That is very true, what is also interesting is the number of women I have met who were 19 and 20 who weren't interested in me in the past couple of months because I am still 20 and they wanted a guy who was 21 or older. Even some women expressing they wanted a guy several years older than them. I guess part of that is because generally men mature slower than women. I don't want to toot my own horn here; however, I think I am the exception to the rule. I just wish that despite bad experiences or common ideas in society that more of these women would give me a chance to show that I am not the same ol' immature prick they have dated in the past. Though I know that is very hard to do.
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #6  May 16,2009, 8:35pm
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Yes but it is a maturity and being on the "same page" regardless of age. Someone can be young or older and still be in a different stage of life.

I think at your age...2 to 3 years were the average that I dated younger. Now I try to keep my age range within 5 years + or - my age.

Eharmony seems to prefer matching women with the oldest I have on my match range. Occasionally I'll get a younger or somewhere around my age match.

At your age there are probably more matches available older than you so that's what you get. Just set an age range you are comfortable with and then look for someone that you match well with.

Good luck!
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #7  May 16,2009, 8:50pm
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Used to date men my age or slightly older, with a few exceptions. Then went to grad school, which likely retarded my development--and simultaneously developed a taste for men a few years younger. Liked the energy, I think. I wasn't in a place where I was looking for long term, and men my age were.

Now been there, done that. Love the age I'm in, and want someone who feels similarly. Dating much closer to my age, or not at all. Really not interested in someone whose babysitter I could've been, nor who could've been my bio father without a stretch of the imagination.

Stevetx, looks like a tossup. What do YOU like?
 
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Share3 is offline Share3 Post #8  May 16,2009, 9:24pm
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This question has been raised before. Anyway... At 21 you should probably date someone close to your age, I think from ages 19 to 25. Like someone else said, it's the maturity and the character and a whole lot of other things that are more important than the age. I am much older than you, almost 56, and eH matches me with guys from 48 to 72, and if he is the RIGHT guy, the one God has for me, then it won't matter what his age is.
 
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OneFaithfulOne is offline OneFaithfulOne Post #9  May 16,2009, 9:31pm
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At some point in time we all need to just look at the relationship and stop trying to find happiness in the parameters what we 'think' we should be in. Now being in my 50's I see nothing wrong with dating someone in their mid 40's. I really do not look at age as much as compatibiliy.

I met a really sweet guy and we hit it off and are still friends. Things slowed down when he found out I was 5 years older. Does not bother me but he was afraid. Mind you he came from a simple background build a business into a mutimillion dollar business and yet little ole me scares him. I think it is something he will have to work out.

Instead of age I look for responsibility, personailty.

Live like there is no tomorrow, dance as if no one is watching, and love as if you have never been hurt.
 
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Feral_Mustang is offline Feral_Mustang Post #10  May 16,2009, 9:52pm
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I'm 29, and just had a date with a 24 year old.

While this particular guy was a bit immature for me, I know men who are VERY mature at that age. More so than me in some aspects. They tend to be the type whose mommy and daddy never paid their way through college. I certainly would be happy with that kind of man. Anyhow, given statistics, we'd probably become decrepit around the same time. Plus, I'm physically more robust than most women my age, and doubt a high percentage of men much older than me could keep up with me.

So yeah, I never write off the young ones. Unfortunately a lot of girls do.

At your age, there are a few girls looking for something deep and serious. Quite a few, actually. Where would you find them? At a church.
 
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