Should I ask these guys out?


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Jasmine83 is offline Jasmine83 Post #1  May 16,2009, 6:59pm
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In April I renewed my eHarmony account. I decided to communicate with all of my matches that will communicate back. That’s what I have been doing. I went on two dates with one match and then he never called me back for no apparent reason. I thought we had a good time. I should have known something was up when I caught him staring at his watch a bunch of times! If he didn’t like me, he should have been honest about it.

[FONT=Arial]Then I exchanged numbers with this other match and he called me like 5 times and never asked me out. Very weird I thought. A lot of matches do open communication with me and then they disappear after a few messages. It’s frustrating because I am really trying. I’m not even being picky anymore. I am on open communication with 4 matches that are really still communicating. I am close to being on opened with 2 other matches. I always wait for the guy to ask me out. Should I ask out the 4 matches? Things are just moving so slow. Or should I give the 4 matches my number?
 
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natka is offline natka Post #2  May 16,2009, 7:45pm
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some people can be very mean. both men and women. we chat with people with what might be an open heart but we are always looking for someone better looking or someone more spontaneous... etc...
if a guy wants your number, he will ask for it. no point in offer your information to a guy who might not be interested in you and is just passing time. i've had those e-mail back and forth. take it slow. get to know people. take your time. if no one is emailing you, forums!!! haha T_T
the thing about online dating is that many people have issues with meeting up. some have even fake photos up and give out their wrong age. i wouldn't give out ur number to 4 guys also.... i've rushed it and then had to call the phone company to ask them to block the numbers......
good luck
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #3  May 16,2009, 8:04pm
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I am going to disagree with Natka, some guys can be very shy and have a hard time asking for your number. If you think they are good match and you have been talking to them for awhile, give them your number.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  May 16,2009, 8:24pm
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First let me say that your experience with guys poofing along the process is nothing unusual. My matches do it too.

I never know when to suggest to my matches to meet. After a few e-mails in OC I will say something along the lines that I would like to meet whenever they feel comfortable doing so. Sometimes they will say that they think that would be a good idea and sometimes they will say that they want to spend a bit more time e-mailing. I can accommodate them either way. You could ask the guys out if you feel that is appropriate. But at the very least you can drop a direct hint that you are comfortable meeting them and would like to do that whenever they are comfortable.
 
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Sunshine_7 is offline Sunshine_7 Post #5  May 16,2009, 8:27pm
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OMG, I just have to share my very odd experience on Eharmony that relates to this topic. I was emailing (open comm) with a guy and, partly since I hate email, I suggested we talk on the phone. He said yes and gave me his number, but when I called it, it was a wrong number (complete with baby crying in the background and man who answered not knowing anyone by guy's name). I emailed him, and he said he misstyped and gave me a new number one digit off. Well, when I called that number and left a message, I never heard back, by phone or email. My take on this is the guy was happy with email and no more. I wonder if there aren't people on EH who just want a pen pal.
 
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Jasmine83 is offline Jasmine83 Post #6  May 17,2009, 6:48am
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I sometimes feel that these guys aren’t really looking to find someone to settle down with. L
The guy that I went on a second date with, we went to Busch Gardens. It’s an amusement park in FL. We spent the whole day together. Then I never hear from him again. I feel stupid that I thought he liked me. I should have seen the signs. He didn’t try to kiss/touch me, and he was looking at his watch. For some reason I still thought he liked me. I thought maybe he was shy/nervous. If he was too chicken to call me and tell me he didn’t want to see me again, he could have even sent me a text “I’m sorry but it’s not going to work out.” That’s nicer then poofing!
I just want to find someone so bad so I don’t have to do this anymore. I think people that find the one are so lucky.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #7  May 17,2009, 7:17am
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Jasmine83 wrote :
I sometimes feel that these guys aren’t really looking to find someone to settle down with. L
The guy that I went on a second date with, we went to Busch Gardens. It’s an amusement park in FL. We spent the whole day together. Then I never hear from him again. I feel stupid that I thought he liked me. I should have seen the signs. He didn’t try to kiss/touch me, and he was looking at his watch. For some reason I still thought he liked me. I thought maybe he was shy/nervous. If he was too chicken to call me and tell me he didn’t want to see me again, he could have even sent me a text “I’m sorry but it’s not going to work out.” That’s nicer then poofing!
I just want to find someone so bad so I don’t have to do this anymore. I think people that find the one are so lucky.

This is your problem right here. Stop this behavior and you'll become more attractive to men, and you'll not care so much in the future if 1 date doesn't work out.
Again, I disagree with the other posters who say that you should wait for the guy to initiate. You're paying money to Eh to get dates, not to be an item in the window of the dating department store. Do you want to get chosen like that or do you want to do the choosing? A woman in 2009 is and should be able to have the power to ask a guy out. OK. Your thread is titled "Should I ask these guys out?" Why don't you do just that and see what happens. NOT asking them out is getting you nowhere, right? So try something different.
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #8  May 17,2009, 7:24am
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boccabum wrote :
This is your problem right here. Stop this behavior and you'll become more attractive to men, and you'll not care so much in the future if 1 date doesn't work out.
Again, I disagree with the other posters who say that you should wait for the guy to initiate. You're paying money to Eh to get dates, not to be an item in the window of the dating department store. Do you want to get chosen like that or do you want to do the choosing? A woman in 2009 is and should be able to have the power to ask a guy out. OK. Your thread is titled "Should I ask these guys out?" Why don't you do just that and see what happens. NOT asking them out is getting you nowhere, right? So try something different.

Gotta love it when someone says just what you wanted to say, but much better than you could have. Thanks bocca!
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #9  May 17,2009, 7:43am
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boccabum wrote :
This is your problem right here. Stop this behavior and you'll become more attractive to men, and you'll not care so much in the future if 1 date doesn't work out.
Again, I disagree with the other posters who say that you should wait for the guy to initiate. You're paying money to Eh to get dates, not to be an item in the window of the dating department store. Do you want to get chosen like that or do you want to do the choosing? A woman in 2009 is and should be able to have the power to ask a guy out. OK. Your thread is titled "Should I ask these guys out?" Why don't you do just that and see what happens. NOT asking them out is getting you nowhere, right? So try something different.
+1000
 
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alex751 is offline alex751 Post #10  May 17,2009, 8:20am

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Jasmine83 wrote :
I sometimes feel that these guys aren’t really looking to find someone to settle down with. L
The guy that I went on a second date with, we went to Busch Gardens. It’s an amusement park in FL. We spent the whole day together. Then I never hear from him again. I feel stupid that I thought he liked me. I should have seen the signs. He didn’t try to kiss/touch me, and he was looking at his watch. For some reason I still thought he liked me. I thought maybe he was shy/nervous. If he was too chicken to call me and tell me he didn’t want to see me again, he could have even sent me a text “I’m sorry but it’s not going to work out.” That’s nicer then poofing!
I just want to find someone so bad so I don’t have to do this anymore. I think people that find the one are so lucky.
fficeffice" />>>
Sorry, but I don't consider this poofing. If I'm not into a girl after the first date, then I don't contact her again. However, if she does happen to contact me asking for another meet up, then I'll kindly write a "Thanks, but no thanks." note.

Can I get a witness?
 
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