a classic question - what does it mean if a girl says she's busy


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arcenciel is offline arcenciel Post #1  May 16,2009, 4:40pm
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sorry this is not exactly a new subject in the dating game - and it sounds like I'm a teenager or something :/ but it's still one that confuses me!

So I met this girl at a conference and we got on really well, and we exchanged some nice e-mails (all on friend level). So I decided to ask her if she'd like to go have a drink with me some time. Anyway, she replied that she enjoyed meeting me, but she was really busy right now with exams at college, and was going to be heading to her parents (in another country) for the vacation.

But now I'm confused - I mean I'm sure the exams and vacation stuff is true, but is this just a polite way of saying thanks but no thanks? I really like the girl and I would love to have a chance to get to know her in the future, but not if she's really not interested.

Advice please!
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #2  May 16,2009, 4:43pm
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Tough call as it could be very true and a matter of bad timing. It could also be a polite way of saying she isn't interested.

If she gave you info or you know when she might be back...I would suggest asking her out then. Things would be calm and then the current reason wouldn't be valid.
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #3  May 16,2009, 5:02pm
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She is not interested. Move on.
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #4  May 16,2009, 5:04pm
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If a woman is interested in you, she will definitely let you know, and you will definitely know, too.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  May 16,2009, 5:14pm
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Normally when she says she is busy, it means she is not that into you. This is the one time where it could actually be the exception to the rule and she is genuinely busy. The only way to find out is to ask her out when she is back from vacation. You really have nothing to lose here. If she says that she is busy again, you have your answer and if she does go out with you - great.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #6  May 16,2009, 5:16pm
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DancingFool wrote :
Normally when she says she is busy, it means she is not that into you. This is the one time where it could actually be the exception to the rule and she is genuinely busy. The only way to find out is to ask her out when she is back from vacation. You really have nothing to lose here. If she says that she is busy again, you have your answer and if she does go out with you - great.
It actually sounds like she may be heading out of the country for the entire summer vacation. He says "the" vacation... which may mean the entire summer break.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #7  May 16,2009, 5:27pm
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When I say 'I'm busy' to anyone, it means I am busy. However, there have been enough comments from both sexes on these boards demonstrating that 'I'm busy' is used in place of 'I'm not interested'.

Could you ring her up and ask her if she'd like to catch up for a coffee when she gets back?
 
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alex751 is offline alex751 Post #8  May 16,2009, 5:41pm

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Yes, women are sometimes busy. But in my experience, the ones who are truly interested you suggest another possible time to get together.

Sorry, but you should move on. Use the extra time to pursue other women.
 
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peluka is offline peluka Post #9  May 16,2009, 6:10pm
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If she didn't give you an alternative, for example, "I'm busy right now, but when I get back from my trip we could (go somewhere/do whatever)", then it's a polite way of saying she's not interested.

If she's busy but interested, she would let you know by suggesting a date (a rain check) or something concrete. Simply saying "sorry but I'm busy" means, "no, thanks".
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #10  May 16,2009, 6:16pm
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peluka wrote :
If she didn't give you an alternative, for example, "I'm busy right now, but when I get back from my trip we could (go somewhere/do whatever)", then it's a polite way of saying she's not interested.

If she's busy but interested, she would let you know by suggesting a date (a rain check) or something concrete. Simply saying "sorry but I'm busy" means, "no, thanks".
I would agree with you ...unless she is going away for a couple of months. Noone is going to say "no thanks. I'm busy. But can we get together in a month or 2 or August". That would be rather silly & insulting.
 
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