stevex is offline stevex Post #1  May 16,2009, 11:02am
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So as I was sitting here this afternoon getting ready to the Texas Steak Cookout, I started wondering something rather interesting. Do opposites attract? It is a very interesting topic, because most of us tend to seek out people that are very similar to us. We want people who have the same world view, who enjoy the same things. However, when we meet the person that tends to match us we can sometimes get bored rather quickly talking to them. If they agree with everything you say or vise versa, at least for me, that can get rather boring.

One of the exciting things I think about dating is being able to learn new things, experience new things and share new ideas and new philosophies. Obviously this only works if both parties are open minded. There are probably just as many people who do not attract the opposite because they are so closed minded and set in their ideas that they are not interested in people who are open minded or who have different ideas.

For example, there are plenty of women that wouldn't be interested in participating in an amateur radio activity with me, or going to a computer swap meet or something like that. While on the other hand, there are many new things that I would be willing to try and get involved with. If I met someone who enjoyed Yoga and hiking, I would try Yoga and hiking. But because I don't always do those things, women who enjoy Yoga and hiking see that my hobbies are amateur radio and computers and do not engage me.

So do opposites really attract and we just don't let nature work because of other ideas we have. Or should we meet people who are just like us? Or is there a line in which there are certain things we can put up with and others that we figure someone is too far past the line and we are not interested?
 
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jaybee451 is offline jaybee451 Post #2  May 16,2009, 11:15am
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I very much believe they do. I'm not looking to meet someone who's a duplciate of myself, but would much rather date someone who'll make me discover new experiences.

That is perhaps the only criticism I have about dating services that try to match people based on "likes", but I keep my preferences wide open to meet different people.
 
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Magdalena72 is offline Magdalena72 Post #3  May 16,2009, 11:56am
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Unless you clone yourself you'll never meet anyone "just like you." I know for myself it's extremely important to be with someone shares at least some common interests. Agreeably it would be boring if there were no differences, but even people with a lot of common interests have some interests that are different. I think if you're looking for longterm compatibility you need to have enough commonality to avoid serious conflicts that could drive you apart. Here's an example: what if you can both agree you love animals, but you breed rare tropical fish and your partner has several cats? Do you see how your tastes might clash and stand in the way of 'happily ever after'? For things to work out longterm you need to at least be similar enough in crucial areas for the relationship to be viable. If you're both passionate about at least a few of the same things all the better. It is my personal belief this would strengthen your bond.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #4  May 16,2009, 7:45pm
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Both of you make very valid points. I guess a good example would be with my ex-girlfriend. Her interests were theatre, music, and horror films. I am not an actor but was supportive of her and went to auditions with her and enjoyed that. Our musical interests were slightly different; however, there was one band we both liked and got the opportunity to enjoy together. We had some films that we both enjoyed but she loved horror movies and I can't stand MOST horror films. While for the most part things stayed interesting, she was a good listener and while she had little interest in my radio hobby she was interested in hearing my other thoughts and learning a few things from me. With that, I also learned things from her and one of her interests was make-up art, she did the make-up for a horror film that was shot in Waco (called Risen, but I don't think they ever actually got anyone to distribute it). So for Halloween, despite the fact that I haven't done anything for Halloween since I was in 8th grade, and that I hate makeup on me I let her do full makeup on me. I think for the most part we had a good relationship in regards to our differences in interests. I probably shouldn't have bitched too much about the horror movies though because that is one thing I hated doing was sitting through those.

The only real issue that came up with us having different interests though I think was the fact that I am very active with radio stuff and several times when we were dating I spent the weekend away doing radio stuff. The problem with this was that I didn't see her much during the week as I work and live an hour away and only came by her place once or twice a week. So when I would go and spend the weekend away she didn't like that.
 
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EugeneDammrod is offline EugeneDammrod Post #5  May 18,2009, 3:26am
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I also believe they do. I've always been attracted to intelligent, wealthy, emotionally stable, and attractive women.
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #6  May 18,2009, 4:23am
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I think opposites do attract. In fact, I tink opposites attract first but many times people don't act on those feelings. But I also believe that when too people are vastly different with very little in common (and I'm speaking of core beliefs and not just hobbies), then it makes for a very difficult relationship many times. The key perhaps is a balancing act, to find people who are similar but who have enough differences (differences that the other is willing to accept/tolerate without attempting to change) to keep the relationship exciting and intriguing. I haven't heard many people say they got divorced because they were too much alike. I hear more of the split came about because they grew apart and had become too different.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  May 18,2009, 5:57am
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I think opposites attract.
 
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janissary is offline janissary Post #8  May 18,2009, 7:48am
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Yes, opposites do attract but they also repel - ALOT.
 
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