OK guys help me out here...interested or just keeping his options open?


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br4m is offline br4m Post #1  May 16,2009, 8:26am
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OK here is the situation, What do you think?

We had a great date 3 weeks ago, Friday. He called the next day and said how much fun he had and that he wanted to see me again soon. He has texted me every morning for 3 weeks and we have talked a few times....but nothing about actually seeing me again.

So his he interested or just keeping his options open?
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #2  May 16,2009, 12:09pm
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br4m wrote :
OK here is the situation, What do you think?

We had a great date 3 weeks ago, Friday. He called the next day and said how much fun he had and that he wanted to see me again soon. He has texted me every morning for 3 weeks and we have talked a few times....but nothing about actually seeing me again.

So his he interested or just keeping his options open?
Of course he's interested in you. He went out with you and has been communicating all this time. What do you think? But the real question is, what have YOU done to show your interest in him? Maybe he hasn't made any plans with you because he has no idea if you like him or not? Maybe, just maybe, he's waiting for YOU to ask HIM out? If you want to see him again, why don't you make plans with him. What are you waiting for? Is he supposed to do all the planning here?
As for keeping his options open. If you've only gone out once and that was 3 weeks ago, what makes you think he's NOT keeping his options open? Of course he is (or should be) keeping his options open and be dating other women. The key for you here is, what are you doing to be one of his options? And after that, what are you doing to be his only choice?
 
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Sunshine_7 is offline Sunshine_7 Post #3  May 16,2009, 8:46pm
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I don't think he's interested in dating you. If he were, he'd ask you out. Three weeks is a long time to do the texting thing, isn't it? Dating needs some momentum. I guess it's possible he's unsure of your interest, and maybe shy, although then it is back to what you're willing to do. Are you comfortable asking him out? My personal experience is that if the guy's not asking me out, there's a reason, and it's usually not a good one.
 
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Shads is offline Shads Post #4  May 16,2009, 9:22pm
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boccabum wrote :
Of course he's interested in you. He went out with you and has been communicating all this time. What do you think? But the real question is, what have YOU done to show your interest in him? Maybe he hasn't made any plans with you because he has no idea if you like him or not? Maybe, just maybe, he's waiting for YOU to ask HIM out? If you want to see him again, why don't you make plans with him. What are you waiting for? Is he supposed to do all the planning here?
As for keeping his options open. If you've only gone out once and that was 3 weeks ago, what makes you think he's NOT keeping his options open? Of course he is (or should be) keeping his options open and be dating other women. The key for you here is, what are you doing to be one of his options? And after that, what are you doing to be his only choice?
Yup yup!
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #5  May 16,2009, 11:48pm
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According to some posts on here, it seems that people who date online feel the need to keep their options open. They don't want to 'settle', as they would, in real life. Your match could be doing that.
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #6  May 17,2009, 3:14am
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Yep to all of the above!

I’d say he’s interested, otherwise what reason for him to keep communicating? But like bocca mentions, maybe he’s unclear of your interest. Time for you to step that one up a notch and suggest getting together again. YOU ask HIM out this time.

In the early stages of dating, it’s also pretty normal for people to have other dating options as well, and so if he’s keeping those open in the process of getting to know you (and others) better, nothing wrong there.

With online dating, some people tend to always be on the lookout for ‘perfect’ to fall into their match-pool and so they forever are keeping their options open. There are always other, better ‘profiles’ for them to move on to. And they never really get to know anyone very well, but they tend to want to linger around for awhile with lots going on the back burner.

So… best way to figure out what category this guys falls into – ask him out!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  May 17,2009, 5:33am
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boccabum wrote :
Of course he's interested in you. He went out with you and has been communicating all this time. What do you think? But the real question is, what have YOU done to show your interest in him? Maybe he hasn't made any plans with you because he has no idea if you like him or not? Maybe, just maybe, he's waiting for YOU to ask HIM out? If you want to see him again, why don't you make plans with him. What are you waiting for? Is he supposed to do all the planning here?
As for keeping his options open. If you've only gone out once and that was 3 weeks ago, what makes you think he's NOT keeping his options open? Of course he is (or should be) keeping his options open and be dating other women. The key for you here is, what are you doing to be one of his options? And after that, what are you doing to be his only choice?
-1
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  May 17,2009, 5:40am
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I am disagreeing with bocca and those following his idea.

Yes he is interested in you. He went out with you and is continuing to communicate. Unless there is more to the OP and that you were the one that asked him out on the first date then he is just keeping his option open so that if whatever his option #1 girl is does not work out then he has you as a backup.

As the others have said you could ask him out but I would suggest that you be a realist and that he has one or more girls ahead of you in line.
 
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greatstuff2009 is offline greatstuff2009 Post #9  May 17,2009, 5:44am
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Sorry - that's weird. When you are attracted to someone and have a connection you MAKE the time to see them. No doubt he likes you but a man is a man... if there was a connection he'd either ask you out again or tell you there's a personal issue (divorce, recent break up) that's making him go slow. DON'T ask him out. DON'T initiate contact. Continue dating, fill up your calendar and if he comes around, wonderful, if not your life is full anyhow. No loss.
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #10  May 17,2009, 6:10am
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greatstuff2009 wrote :
Sorry - that's weird. When you are attracted to someone and have a connection you MAKE the time to see them. No doubt he likes you but a man is a man... if there was a connection he'd either ask you out again or tell you there's a personal issue (divorce, recent break up) that's making him go slow. DON'T ask him out. DON'T initiate contact. Continue dating, fill up your calendar and if he comes around, wonderful, if not your life is full anyhow. No loss.

Are you suggesting that for men there are no ‘gray areas’ of behavior when they’re interested in a woman? Or also, there are no gray areas of interest for a man to begin with, he either IS or he isn’t interested?
 
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