My Boyfriend is Calling Female Escorts Off the Internet


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
theweave is offline theweave Post #21  May 14,2009, 8:22pm
theweave's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jan 2008

Posts: 283

See profile

OMG! RUN!!!! Don't walk! Run to your doctor and get the whole battery of blood work you can possibly get!!!! God knows what you may have contracted from him!

He owes you nothing, he is useless and will deny everything anyhow. Just get out now and move on.

Like others have said, take some time off because you will have trouble trusting others. Get some help if you need it too!

Good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
bluejeanz01 is offline bluejeanz01 Post #22  May 14,2009, 9:39pm
bluejeanz01's Avatar

Happy New Year

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 196

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
I think there are a couple of nearly unrelated issues here (and they are not all his.)

First, you snooped and pried into things that are not yours (assuming these accounts are not shared.) Still, having established the behavior you might as well let him know what you did. You are not free of blame (and I may well dump a woman for that sort of invasion), but the conversation is no less relevant. Coming up with a tactic to avoid the revelation you snooped is adding stupidity and disrespect to the snooping.

Second, I do not see that there is any relevance to whether he “connected in person.” Unless calling was the only intent – which I would not believe if that is his defense – the intent is adequately a concern that I would absolutely leave.

I see no logic in confronting him (to what, revel in being all righteous?) If you choose to, I would be totally direct and forthcoming about the source of your knowledge.
I agree with DL tell him you're done with him then give him a Quarter and tell him call someone who cares. He'll figure it out.
 
  Reply With Quote
twolatesmart is offline twolatesmart Post #23  May 15,2009, 1:23am
twolatesmart's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 14

See profile

My own husband was doing just this except he spent $150 on one of them because he doesn't bother to erase his text messages and I snooped. I texted one of these glorified prostitutes from HIS phone and told her who I was and that she'd been busted. Thus, I'm in the process of dumping him now.
 
  Reply With Quote
kelliemaree is offline kelliemaree Post #24  May 15,2009, 5:36am
kelliemaree's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

I am having a similar situation happen with my fiance i had a baby 6 months ago and in the last 3 months he has been disapearing for hours on end i have also been going through his call log and went through the local paper adult section where i foud a fair few of the numbers he had called some which were phone sex lines and one a brothel! he denies it till the cows comes home and gets angry at me for implying it but what else are we ment to believe? I am also at a loss as to what to do about the situation.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #25  May 15,2009, 6:06am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

I agree what others have said.

Dump him.
No need to confront or explain.
Get checked.

And as some have said, you may want to look within yourself. Snooping is not a good trait to have. And no you cannot justify snooping as you found out that your boyfriend was calling escorts.
 
  Reply With Quote
SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #26  May 15,2009, 7:35am
SierraMountai…'s Avatar

The Doctor just called. Your test results are in.

Power Poster

Joined: Apr 2008

California, but NORTHERN California

Posts: 6,025

See profile

Dump him immediately, permanently, and with NO explanation.

It is horrendous that you snooped, but a good thing in this case you did.


For the next guy, please be a lot more selective.
 
  Reply With Quote
boccabum is offline boccabum Post #27  May 15,2009, 8:17am
boccabum's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 974

See profile

I agree dump him. And also for the snooping thing: yes, something in his behavior might have triggered your snooping. But leave it at that. Going forward, you're obligated to tell him HOW you found out about this and for him to change his passwords so you can't continue to read his emails and look at his phone calls. You had no right to look at his personal data and even less right after you dump him to continue this. Move on with your life and don't access his stuff anymore.
 
  Reply With Quote
glassonlyhalffull_fillit is offline glassonlyhalffull_fillit Post #28  May 15,2009, 8:42am
glassonlyhalf…'s Avatar

Love being part of two again

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,015

See profile

ThePriestess wrote :
Why would you want to "bring it up"? Just leave.
Last edited by glassonlyhalffull_fillit; May 15,2009 at 8:42am. Reason: +1!
 
  Reply With Quote
glassonlyhalffull_fillit is offline glassonlyhalffull_fillit Post #29  May 15,2009, 8:46am
glassonlyhalf…'s Avatar

Love being part of two again

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,015

See profile

OP not that I advocate snooping, but in this case GOOD work! He deserves to simply see your belongings and you gone. No explanation required. Oh and discontinue the snooping, you have enough proof, why bother?
 
  Reply With Quote
dolphin239 is offline dolphin239 Post #30  May 16,2009, 11:40am
dolphin239's Avatar

hopes for better weather.

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 181

See profile

tbesq wrote :
Dump him. You probably should have done it a while ago anyway, you would have no need to invade his privacy if you trusted him. I doubt your man is any different than he was when you first met him, you probably chose to ignore your misgivings...a common mistake many women make.

Don't confront him. He'll obviously want to know why you're dumping him, but just say it and let it be at that before he starts going into defense mode. And try to listen to your intuition from now on.
Trying out the quote function for the first time since forum changed here, with all the new bells and whistles
And I haven't read all 3 pages of this post yet but wanted to reply,
Unfortunately, you can't always listen to your intuition. Well, you can hear it whisper, but especially if you are already enmeshed in a LTR, but have no Proof he has contacted an escort, or done any other number of undesireable things. What I'm trying to say is, unfortunately from my experience sometimes snooping, even extensive snooping , is warrented, and the only way you will ever find the truth. Just asking him, based on a "feeling" you have , will get, simply put, a lie from him, of course. Of Course he isn't going to just admit whatever it is, especially cheating, being with escort, etc, just because you had a feeling of such a thing. Some guys DO have a whole secret alternate life, be it escorts, cheating, strange fetish, porn, or worse, whatever it is, they could be Very into hiding it , and having a different exterior, and sometimes snooping is the only way to really get at the truth. Also, if this is really the case, he's probably going to be alot more concerned about explaining himself to her , than freaking out over her having snooped. Sometimes it's a relief, he doesn't have to hide anymore. It IS true, he probably Isn't any different than when she first met him. But "blaming" the woman for not "following her intuition", that's too subjective. I'm sure everyone's "intuition" is different.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“The guy who wrote the Tao of dating is kind of interesting. I'd check him out if you're looking for a coach. Seems like a lot of the advice he has is good for other areas of life, too.” –  nightling

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“ Snob. It is a board game, as is Candy Land, and it is no more important. Hah! Yeah, but...my chess board is two-tone onyx; doesn't fold in half. So I forgot about it being a "board" ... ” –  j0hn8andy

Join the “Favorite Board Game” discussion

“So, I just heard from the Matchmaker. Apparently Bill had time to call her from the road. lol She said, in so many words, that he started by enumerating the qualities he loved in me (looks, ... ” –  123noname789

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“I think women who are fabulous don't need to say so on a date, and as a result come across as comfortable in their own skin.I think women who are fabulous also generally understand that making the ... ” –  nightling

Join the “What do you mean I'm not fabulous?” discussion

“ That's the impression I've gotten.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion

“Recent advertisement for EH got me to wondering, will there be a way to tell if someone is just on for the free weekend? With people signing up just for the weekend how will paying members know ... ” –  ItsOkayToLook

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“Thanks to you people, today I have "Crazy Penguin Catapult."” –  D_Lion

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 9:14pm.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0