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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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scarlet13 and i found out where my edge is and it bleeds into where you resist

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OP: your boyfriend is sleeping with hookers and you are worried he might be mad that you were snooping on him?

like others said, just go.
- May 14th, 2009, 05:47 pm
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peg099 peg099 is offline
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waltercl wrote :
Here's a crazy thought, why not date someone that you trust and doesn't make you go all stalkersish.
+1
- May 14th, 2009, 06:11 pm
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Jacquiem Jacquiem is offline
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He's not your boyfriend, stop treating him like one. Leave.

Before you date ANYONE again, you should seriously consider working out your trust issues. Because if you don't, all you're going to do is do the same "investigating" you did this time, under the pretense of making sure what's happened to you in the past doesn't happen again. You can mitigate that some by getting to know the person you're dating before becoming intimate with them. Really taking the time to get to know the person. And develop some trust based on a pattern of acceptable behavior that makes you comfortable.

And when you're concerned about something ASK your SO about it, instead of snooping to find the answer yourself. This won't absolutely guarantee you won't end up with a perv in the end anyway, but I bet you'll have a little time on your side to spot unusal behavior more times than not.

Sorry you're going through this. I hope things work out for you.
- May 14th, 2009, 06:23 pm
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FruitaBu FruitaBu is offline
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I agree with most of the other responses. There is no need to get into a bunch of details with him. There is also no need to tell him the appropriateness of his behavior as a father. He's an adult and I doubt he would be receptive to a lecture. Most men engaged in that type of activity aren't.

If you feel you must give him a reason, then tell him you know he is contacting women for casual sex and that isn't something you care to participate in and leave it at that.

Having said that... snooping is not cool at all. Not cool. No excuses. That is an invasion of privacy and may even be illegal depending on how you are gathering all this info.
- May 14th, 2009, 06:47 pm
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cp30 cp30 is online now
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of course you want answers. Leave first. Leave with no explanation, just leave. There is nothing good to come from that conversation.

Once you are safely away and have had some time to control your emotions. then if you still want some kind of closure send him an email or something. Tell him what you think of him.

Dont wait for a response, dont worry if he is mad, and don't let him back.

Please, think with your brains. It's hard but there is nothing good here.
- May 14th, 2009, 06:49 pm
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Wondering_Nomad Wondering_Nomad is offline
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It is very simple - LEAVE!
- May 14th, 2009, 07:22 pm
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kahappy kahappy is offline
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I really feel for you.
Yes, you have trust issues, but something triggered them inside of you...and quite frankly, could have saved your life. You never know what you could have caught from your cheating boyfriend.
So, it's a very good thing you found out about this and can now get him out of your life.
Next time around, if you find yourself feeling like this, have a talk with the guy. Stay away from his personal accounts.
Good luck. So sorry.
- May 14th, 2009, 07:24 pm
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cp30 cp30 is online now
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kahappy wrote :
I really feel for you.
Yes, you have trust issues, but something triggered them inside of you...and quite frankly, could have saved your life. You never know what you could have caught from your cheating boyfriend.
So, it's a very good thing you found out about this and can now get him out of your life.
Next time around, if you find yourself feeling like this, have a talk with the guy. Stay away from his personal accounts.
Good luck. So sorry.
I agree....next time trust your instincts, you have proof now. Maybe next time let your heart be your guide. You already knew something was wrong.
- May 14th, 2009, 08:25 pm
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zeekle zeekle is offline
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I would get the heck out. That being said you need to think about what went on in your head that got you to breaking the boundaries of personal accounts.
- May 14th, 2009, 09:29 pm
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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zeekle wrote :
I would get the heck out. That being said you need to think about what went on in your head that got you to breaking the boundaries of personal accounts.
while snooping is really really wrong, if she had any reason to suspect something wasn't kosher with the relationship, she should have had a good long talk with him and ended the relationship then and there.

if i ever have a urge to be nosey i take it as a sign that my instincts are saying not to trust the person.

in this case she knew that something was up and validated her insticts. not the best path but if all she found was an addiction to Cuteoverload we wouldn't be talking about it.
- May 14th, 2009, 09:38 pm
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