My Boyfriend is Calling Female Escorts Off the Internet


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #11  May 14,2009, 4:47pm
scarlet13's Avatar

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

OP: your boyfriend is sleeping with hookers and you are worried he might be mad that you were snooping on him?

like others said, just go.
 
  Reply With Quote
peg099 is offline peg099 Post #12  May 14,2009, 5:11pm
peg099's Avatar

Sage

Joined: Sep 2008

Canada

Posts: 12,516

See profile

waltercl wrote :
Here's a crazy thought, why not date someone that you trust and doesn't make you go all stalkersish.
+1
 
  Reply With Quote
Jacquiem is offline Jacquiem Post #13  May 14,2009, 5:23pm
Jacquiem's Avatar

is glad she can still surprise herself

Community Leader Alum

Joined: Apr 2009

Washington, DC

Posts: 511

See profile

He's not your boyfriend, stop treating him like one. Leave.

Before you date ANYONE again, you should seriously consider working out your trust issues. Because if you don't, all you're going to do is do the same "investigating" you did this time, under the pretense of making sure what's happened to you in the past doesn't happen again. You can mitigate that some by getting to know the person you're dating before becoming intimate with them. Really taking the time to get to know the person. And develop some trust based on a pattern of acceptable behavior that makes you comfortable.

And when you're concerned about something ASK your SO about it, instead of snooping to find the answer yourself. This won't absolutely guarantee you won't end up with a perv in the end anyway, but I bet you'll have a little time on your side to spot unusal behavior more times than not.

Sorry you're going through this. I hope things work out for you.
 
  Reply With Quote
FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #14  May 14,2009, 5:47pm
FruitaBu's Avatar

is happy.

Virtuoso

Joined: Mar 2008

Florida

Posts: 2,668

See profile

I agree with most of the other responses. There is no need to get into a bunch of details with him. There is also no need to tell him the appropriateness of his behavior as a father. He's an adult and I doubt he would be receptive to a lecture. Most men engaged in that type of activity aren't.

If you feel you must give him a reason, then tell him you know he is contacting women for casual sex and that isn't something you care to participate in and leave it at that.

Having said that... snooping is not cool at all. Not cool. No excuses. That is an invasion of privacy and may even be illegal depending on how you are gathering all this info.
 
  Reply With Quote
cp30 is offline cp30 Post #15  May 14,2009, 5:49pm

has only threatened to give up

Power Poster

Joined: Dec 2007

Up in the NW corner somewhere, but not quite Canada :)

Posts: 7,750

See profile

of course you want answers. Leave first. Leave with no explanation, just leave. There is nothing good to come from that conversation.

Once you are safely away and have had some time to control your emotions. then if you still want some kind of closure send him an email or something. Tell him what you think of him.

Dont wait for a response, dont worry if he is mad, and don't let him back.

Please, think with your brains. It's hard but there is nothing good here.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wondering_Nomad is offline Wondering_Nomad Post #16  May 14,2009, 6:22pm
Wondering_Nom…'s Avatar

University Assignment in - time for a short break me thinks.....

Quick Study

Joined: Apr 2009

Posts: 164

See profile

It is very simple - LEAVE!
 
  Reply With Quote
kahappy is offline kahappy Post #17  May 14,2009, 6:24pm
kahappy's Avatar

knows her glass is half full. :)

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

New York State

Posts: 197

See profile

I really feel for you.
Yes, you have trust issues, but something triggered them inside of you...and quite frankly, could have saved your life. You never know what you could have caught from your cheating boyfriend.
So, it's a very good thing you found out about this and can now get him out of your life.
Next time around, if you find yourself feeling like this, have a talk with the guy. Stay away from his personal accounts.
Good luck. So sorry.
 
  Reply With Quote
cp30 is offline cp30 Post #18  May 14,2009, 7:25pm

has only threatened to give up

Power Poster

Joined: Dec 2007

Up in the NW corner somewhere, but not quite Canada :)

Posts: 7,750

See profile

kahappy wrote :
I really feel for you.
Yes, you have trust issues, but something triggered them inside of you...and quite frankly, could have saved your life. You never know what you could have caught from your cheating boyfriend.
So, it's a very good thing you found out about this and can now get him out of your life.
Next time around, if you find yourself feeling like this, have a talk with the guy. Stay away from his personal accounts.
Good luck. So sorry.
I agree....next time trust your instincts, you have proof now. Maybe next time let your heart be your guide. You already knew something was wrong.
 
  Reply With Quote
zeekle is offline zeekle Post #19  May 14,2009, 8:29pm
zeekle's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Apr 2009

Nashville, TN

Posts: 64

See profile

I would get the heck out. That being said you need to think about what went on in your head that got you to breaking the boundaries of personal accounts.
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #20  May 14,2009, 8:38pm
scarlet13's Avatar

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

zeekle wrote :
I would get the heck out. That being said you need to think about what went on in your head that got you to breaking the boundaries of personal accounts.
while snooping is really really wrong, if she had any reason to suspect something wasn't kosher with the relationship, she should have had a good long talk with him and ended the relationship then and there.

if i ever have a urge to be nosey i take it as a sign that my instincts are saying not to trust the person.

in this case she knew that something was up and validated her insticts. not the best path but if all she found was an addiction to Cuteoverload we wouldn't be talking about it.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« So A Philosopher Walks Into A Bar... | Dating | Why are you still single? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:02am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0