The Today Show's Janice Lieberman Tells You What the Experts Know About Happy Marriages


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BILLGOLF is offline BILLGOLF Post #1  May 14,2009, 9:35am
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Easter 2009 at church

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I enjoyed this article but was a little suprised by the food commonality importance.  After think more I realized eating is some we HAVE to do and usually it is with our significant other on a daily basis.  I would not be a good person for a vegetarian, I like food that used to fly, swim or walk before being sacrificed.
Being kind to others often translates to being kind to ourselves and maybe being a positive person.  I sure don't want grouchy, negative people in my life. 
No lets wait for the shop for a wife book!  I suspect many of the factors will be the same.
 
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DonnaLeeCarter is offline DonnaLeeCarter Post #2  May 17,2009, 9:27pm
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RE:  Breaking up advice...."do it face to face," was the advice you gave amoung others.
There is a *Warning:  Be sure you are SAFE.  forty years ago I tried to leave; I was choked, hit and in the Emergency room without the now x husband.  He was out joy riding on his purple Norton Bike (motorcycle) fully believing I deserved that and more, for trying to leave....flash forward...now happily with the mate I have now.
Caution is always key.  Make sure you the mental state of the person you are dating, marrying and dumping.
 
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Toby9 is offline Toby9 Post #3  May 20,2009, 7:05am
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Hmmm, anniversaries and birthdays are the little things??  If a guy can't remember that than you really have some self esteem issues to work on if you are with him.  Little things like what your favorite food, flower, color?(little?), big meeting next week so he give you a "how'd it go" or god forbid do something thoughtful like give you a card....  Alas, it is the kindness that brings down most guys as it is misunderstood as not being a big enough challange.  The guys I know remember everything if they care, they jsut can't act on it since most women don't find it very exciting to be fawned over.  Maybe that changes once you get married...of course if you are posting a "how to stay married" on a dating site there may be more issues at work here....  
 
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neenahpickett is offline neenahpickett Post #4  May 20,2009, 3:50pm
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Well I guess I've been going about it all wrong. I think from now on I'm going to date butt-ugly men.  If a gorgeous guy finds me attractive, I will know that our marriage will most likely end in divorce, so I'll cut him off at he pass. Say, Janice, any idea what the source is for that scientific study?
Thanks.
Neenah"52 Weeks 2 Find Him"
 
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  May 20,2009, 4:12pm
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Thanks folks for your comments. This week you can ask Janice your dating questions on this thread:

(Ask author Janice Lieberman your dating questions!)http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/dating-advice/ask-dating-expert/24745-ask-author-janice-lieberman-your-dating-questions.html

Pop on by and pose your question or problem to her for her expert insight!
 
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Lucky22 is offline Lucky22 Post #6  May 20,2009, 4:12pm
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Regarding the part about similarity of eating being important, I complained to eHarmony last year that none of my "matches" were vegetarians, as I have been for 33 years, and they wrote me back a condescending reply that they found this is not an important area of compatibility. Well, to me it's crucial! How can you be in a relationship with someone who food choices are disgusting, cruel, and immoral to you? I'm a vegetarian for ethical reasons; it's a basic value to me and the core of my spirituality. Doesn't everyone need to share core values with their life partner? To the article author, thanks for validating what I already knew. To eHarmony, that's exactly why I'm no longer a member! Maybe rethink your policy. I'd rather be alone the rest of my life than with a meat-eater.
 
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BOBBI14 is offline BOBBI14 Post #7  May 21,2009, 2:45am
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I have not committed to internet totally. There are some love stories as well as horror stories. I have not read your book and I don't know if scientific data should play in to my relationship. i did read "How To Avoid Marrying A Jerk" and based on (2) filed marriages I know that a lot of what I read is true. I have been single since 1997 and I believe I am finally ready to begin looking. I have myself "in order" to make the right person an understanding, loving, compassionate soul mate. 
 
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Widower is offline Widower Post #8  May 22,2009, 4:48am
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Before my wife died, we were happily married.  One thing I would add is having good in-laws.  My in-laws treated me like a member of the family when my wife and I were first dating, and it made me very comfortable with her.
 
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passionatedreamer is offline passionatedreamer Post #9  June 1,2009, 6:37am
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Great advice.  Thanks Janice!
 
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LOISJJ is offline LOISJJ Post #10  June 25,2009, 10:13pm
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ALL I CAN SAY IS, I MET MY HUSBAND(WHO PASSED AWAY ON 12-5-2006 FROM LUNG CANCER) ON A BLIND DATE ON FRIDAY 13, 1954,. WE WERE THE OPPOSITE ON EVERYTHING. MUSIC WAS A BIG DEAL. I LOVED 1950'S ROCK & ROLL, HE LIKED COUNTRY MUSIC AND HILLBILLY MUSIC. HE WAS AN INTROVERT AND I WAS NOT. HE LOVED FISHING, SO I TRIED TO FISH, BAD MISTAKE. NO UMBRELLA, NO MUSIC NO NOTHING, BOR-R-R-ING. THEN THE BOAT GOT STUCK IN THE MUD AND HE HAD TO PUSH THE BOAT WITH THE TROLLING MOTOR RUNNING. I WAS SO GLAD TO REACH THE BAIT CAMP. NEVER AGAIN. HE LIKED TO WORK OUTSIDE IN THE YARD, NOT ME. I RULED THE INSIDE AND HE OUTSIDE. AND I GUESS IT WORKED, WE WERE MARRIED 52 YEARS, WITH A LOT OF GIVE AND TAKE. SOMEHOW, THE FOLLOWING GENERATIONS HAVE LOST THE "GIVE AND TAKE" TO KEEP ALL TOGETHER, NO MATTER WHAT. WE HAD 1 DAUGHTER AND TWO SONS. (MY DAUGHTER IS SO MUCH LIKE HIM ITS SCARY.) I KNOW THIS IS A LONG STORY, BUT THE MAIN THING IS "WE LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH, WE PASSED THE HURDLES WITH FLYING COLORS. I PUT ON OUR HEADSTONE, THE BIBLE PASSAGE FROM 1 CORNITHIANS 13:13, "AND THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE".
Last edited by LOISJJ; June 25,2009 at 10:25pm. Reason: TRY TO REACH ANYONE WHO THINKS LOVE IS AN LOST ART.
 
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