How big of an issue is weight in dating a girl?


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mel0522 is offline mel0522 Post #1  May 12,2009, 4:27pm
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I have had a very hard time meeting men. Very few men have ever expressed any interest in me. On eHarmony, NO man ever communicates with me. I am not fat, but not skinny. In fact, I do marathons. I have always heard that I am a nice girl, but they are not attracted to me. I have heard that I am too tall. I also hear that they would prefer to not date a blonde. They would rather date a Redhead. I have heard this from four men! I am pretty well educated and have good self-esteem. I am very kind to people. I am just not sure what men are looking for in a woman. What do I need to do for a man to give me the time of day?
 
 
bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #2  May 12,2009, 8:40pm
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First you have to be confidant that you have something to offer. Do your own thing...enjoy life...and people including guys will be drawn to you.


Each guy is looking for something different. There isn't a set rules or a certain look that attracts all. As a redhead, I've often got the opposite impression as I've been told by many guys they find redheads unattractive. It's a personal taste preference so what attracts one turns off another.


As for eharmony...it really works better if you contact them. To wait around is not a good investment of your money or time. Show your interest and if it's mutual there's your start.


It sounds like you have a lot of good features from kindness to interesting hobbies like marathons. Look for people that value those.
 
 
emanze is offline emanze Post #3  May 13,2009, 4:57am
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mel0522 wrote :
I have had a very hard time meeting men. Very few men have ever expressed any interest in me. On eHarmony, NO man ever communicates with me. I am not fat, but not skinny. In fact, I do marathons. I have always heard that I am a nice girl, but they are not attracted to me. I have heard that I am too tall. I also hear that they would prefer to not date a blonde. They would rather date a Redhead. I have heard this from four men! I am pretty well educated and have good self-esteem. I am very kind to people. I am just not sure what men are looking for in a woman. What do I need to do for a man to give me the time of day?
So, let's see. You take care of yourself, you run marathons and you are an educated tall blonde. You have so much to offer! I'm sorry you have met four men who weren't interested but so what. You need to believe that you are an interesting, beautiful woman first. You don't ever want to give off desperation vibes.

Quality people are attracted to confidence. I'm happy to hear you say you have good self-esteem, but I think you might want to tweak that a bit. Regroup and think of yourself as desirable and worthy of a great relationship. It's hard to find a good match so just be patient, don't take the process too seriously and stay positive.
 
 
zeekle is offline zeekle Post #4  May 13,2009, 5:20am
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Well I think there are guys that are looking for the model looking woman (like out of a magazine) and their are guys that just want someone fit and some guys that like women with extra some weight.

Personally, I like women from a far range of sizes. I prefer someone who is somewhat fit (or working on it) so that person can match my lifestyle. I really don't want a couch potato.

If you see a guy you like send him a message. If no one asks for a dance the whole place with be filled with wallflowers.

And honestly, the guys get ignored as well. It seems there is a lot of people out there for whatever reason just aren't finding what they are looking for.
 
 
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  May 13,2009, 6:09am
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I don't think the title expresses where your problem is. If you run marathons weight can't be an issue. As for all the other things you listed as problems, well they just are not true statements. If you are exceptionally tall (over 6 foot) then you are going to have fewer guys to choose from than if you 5'6" but there are going to be tall guys that are going to welcome being able to look you in the eye. As for being blond, I think that blond is the most preferred hair color.

The other posters have made good comments. You just have not found the right guy yet. He is out there somewhere, you just need to be proactive and have a positive attitude in your search.
 
 
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  May 13,2009, 6:15am
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On any online dating site there are no rules about who initiates first contact. On EH especially, if you don't initiate contact you are definitely wasting your time and money. Also, bear in mind that a whole lot of your matches are not paying members and will not respond for that reason, so don't assume rejection.

As far as what men like, same as what women like. Everyone is different and everyone has their own tastes and likes and dislikes. There is no way to please everyone. Be patient, be happy and confident with yourself and your life and you'll meet someone who likes you just the way you are.
 
 
DDjr is offline DDjr Post #7  May 13,2009, 7:20am
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A couple of suggestions:

(This is said over and over.) Get good, high quality pictures of yourself THAT YOU REALLY LIKE! These should include a head shot and a full length body shot. As Gr8 said, you can't be THAT overweight if you're running marathons!

Second, did you really take the personality test honestly? It's really easy to answer questions as you think you are expected to answer. This really determines who you are matched with.

As a shorter guy I am not really pleased when I matched with someone taller than me. If you are ok with and interested in a guy that you are matched with that is shorter than you are you should initiate communications to show that for you a shorter guy is ok. (If this is the case.)

The other thing to do is look at all your match setting and open them up just past where you are comfortable.

*** Do you have an HONEST guy friend that you could have look at your About Me profile?
 
 
beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #8  May 13,2009, 7:20am
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I like what Bravethestorm said. All those things that you mentioned are great, but you need to exude confidence. You have to be happy with yourself first, before someone else is going to see it and believe it. When you go running in the marathons, do you have a partner to go with?? Is there a local chapter of runners who like to do Marathons like you do?? I know that there is a local Running Room, here, that people join, not only for safety reasons but also for people of like minds to run and talk with.
Try doing that and see what happens...take care..
 
 
meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #9  May 13,2009, 5:33pm
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The very fact that you mention your weight and some personal attributes and then you counter yourself to downplay them shows a small lack of confidence.

In short, a guy is not going to be attracted to a "9" if she is insecure about herself.
 
 
outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #10  May 13,2009, 5:56pm

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Are most women uncomfortable with their image? Hmm perhaps some of us guys are insensitive online per this issue.

I think weight for a woman is as important per dating as how much $* a man has per dating. I'm not trying to sound rude or start a fight.

And of course there are many women who overlook this. They are called wives/girlfriends. And or girlfriends/wives to be.

Also it's been suggested TV & advertising has done women a large injustice. Glutting the market with skinny heroin addicted models has skewered what women are supposed to look like.

In the past, TV & advertsing showed normal women (not waifs.) The models had large hips and were [edited-weight] healthy, not skinny.

Not that skinny is bad. But not every woman is going to be a size 0.


*this includes job/career, house, car, etc
Last edited by outlaw1; May 13,2009 at 5:58pm. Reason: cause I wanted to freak out those who oppose editing... ;)
 
 
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