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stevex stevex is offline
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So we have a thread going about dating outside of race. I am curious to hear about dating outside of religion. I dated a couple of Christian girls in high school, one of them broke up with me because I "didn't have faith". I am an atheist. For as long as I can remember I have lacked faith in a higher power (though there was a short period in which I made an effort and went to church, but realized I wasn't feeling it). So lately I have been seeking agnostic or atheist women. I find this to be a very tough thing to find being in Meridian, Texas. Even with a search radius of 300 miles on sites like Okcupid and Match.com I only get a small selection of matches. I have only gotten 25 matches since I joined eHarmony, and while I am in OC with one match I am not so sure it is going anywhere.


My point is, as others dated outside of religion and actually had things work out?
- May 8th, 2009, 10:03 pm
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lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
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well, as i'm not married, i can't say "yes." but you know, even tho he's not particularly religious, i've found things much easier going in many ways with my boyfriend who's of german catholic extract like me. i dated a persian guy who'd say "i was raised in islam but islam was not raised in me"; however it would really disturb him on some non-intellectual level when i made the sign of the cross. it was also bad going when i dated this guy of presbyterian upbringing; meeting my priest was scary for him and my priest took one list of him and knew instantly his "value faults." and then there was the other protestant... we had vastly different feelings about abortion and birth control. not in terms of legality. it was that he'd say things regarding abortion, for instance, like "people make mistakes" and that totally rubbed me the wrong way.
- May 9th, 2009, 12:55 am
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Spami Spami is offline
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stevex, wrote :

So we have a thread going about dating outside of race. I am curious to hear about dating outside of religion. I dated a couple of Christian girls in high school, one of them broke up with me because I "didn't have faith". I am an atheist. For as long as I can remember I have lacked faith in a higher power (though there was a short period in which I made an effort and went to church, but realized I wasn't feeling it). So lately I have been seeking agnostic or atheist women. I find this to be a very tough thing to find being in Meridian, Texas. Even with a search radius of 300 miles on sites like Okcupid and Match.com I only get a small selection of matches. I have only gotten 25 matches since I joined eHarmony, and while I am in OC with one match I am not so sure it is going anywhere.


My point is, as others dated outside of religion and actually had things work out?

I think you should expand to more than just atheist women. I’m sure you will come across ignorant and intolerant women, but you just need to move on to the next. I’m sure you have the same morals and values as religious women (if not more because you’re not judging people based on religion!), and maybe you just need to express that if they seem to be frightened by the A word. Good luck!

- May 9th, 2009, 01:36 am
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Basic stuffs about me and my dating experience in terms of religion: I am born Catholic.Still go to church every weekend because my dad forces me to, not because I want to. My ex-boyfriends were from different Christian denominations and that's never an issue. Maybe that's because we're not all that religious or really practising.


I am fine with dating outside my own religion as long as the guy doesn't try to force his religionand religious views on me nor do I want somebody who wants me to convert. I don't want to convert because I am not even all that religious when it comes to being a Catholic and am hardly practising it so why would I want a newreligion? It's really unnecessary for me.


A fact to share with all: You are required to convert into Islam if you want to marry a Muslim in Malaysia and they don't really allow you to renounce Islam even if your marriage ends. The worst is, if you happen to succeed at renouncing Islam,the Syariah court will give full custody of your children to your ex-spouse because you are no longer a Muslim and your Muslim kids should remain with their Muslim mom or dad
- May 9th, 2009, 02:18 am
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The fact that you've already admitted that you are an atheist pretty much will determine whom you decide to get involved with.


If you look at the eharmony profiles, many of them have a specific religion, but don't actively practice it! A complication might arise if you find a mate who wants to observe a religious holiday (Christmas, Easter, Yom Kippur, etc.). But a larger complication could arise shouldthe two of you marry and have children! This could be very awkward for any child...especially if he or she interacts withclassmates who observe religious holidays!


While atheism might be a strong belief for you...the last thingyou'd want todo is to make an innocent child an outsider with schoolmates and other friends!


argytunes
- May 9th, 2009, 08:23 am
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I dated without regard for religion. In my experience, most people identify themselves as a member of a religion, but their daily lifestyle is not compliant with the requirements of their faith. That has always worked okay for me.
- May 9th, 2009, 08:31 am
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This is a situation that needs to be examined on an individual basis. You will find many people who will say they are of a certain religion who do not actively proctice their religion and could care less if their match / date / mate (spouse) is of the same religion or none at all.


For me personally I want to date someone that has the same base beliefs as I have and is open to joining me at my church.
- May 9th, 2009, 09:06 am
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lil_lamb wrote :

well, as i'm not married, i can't say "yes." but you know, even tho he's not particularly religious, i've found things much easier going in many ways with my boyfriend who's of german catholic extract like me. i dated a persian guy who'd say "i was raised in islam but islam was not raised in me"; however it would really disturb him on some non-intellectual level when i made the sign of the cross. it was also bad going when i dated this guy of presbyterian upbringing; meeting my priest was scary for him and my priest took one list of him and knew instantly his "value faults." and then there was the other protestant... we had vastly different feelings about abortion and birth control. not in terms of legality. it was that he'd say things regarding abortion, for instance, like "people make mistakes" and that totally rubbed me the wrong way.
I read the bolded line with some interest and feel compelled to comment even though it will likely generate a great deal of controversy. FYI, not a Catholic or Presbyterian.


Seems to me that your priest is a wee bit intolerant of non-Catholics. Thankfully many priests are not so intolerant, nor or the Catholic girls that I get matched with (which is most of my matches).


Also views on certain life issues such as birth control and abortion different from your Presbyterian match should not be construed as being the same views held by all Presbyterians or those of any particular religious denomination.


FYI, a very long time friend was in the reverse of your Catholic - Presbyterian situation. She is Presbyterian and he is Catholic. They have been happily married for over 30 years. The wedding was one of the most inspiring I have attended. They were married in her church with both her minister and his priest officiating.
- May 9th, 2009, 09:23 am
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I think it really depends on whether your match is practicing his or her faith. Just because someone says they're Christian, or Catholic, doesn't mean that they are active in their religion. In my experience, people's religious preferences have to do more with keeping their family happy than it does keeping that individual happy. Someone who doesn't actively practice their faith but refuses to date you because you're an atheist, while entitled to their preference, is a hypocrite in my opinion.


Religion would not become a real issue for me unless we decided to get married, have children and wanted the childrento be raised in a religion. At that time I would definitely want to revisit the issue, even before we started a family.
- May 9th, 2009, 09:32 am
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To me, it may not be so much about what religion, as it is how polarized their version of religionis--or isn't.


My experience of people from fundamentalist Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and even less traditional spiritual beliefs such as shamanism is that they really don't want to hear from anyone who expresses a different belief. Even those who profess to have no beliefs, if they hold to it too tightly. Am not saying all are this way, but it has been my personalexperience.


Was advised by one person that my entire family was going to H#ll because they weren't of his church. I found out that after we'd been going out awhile--andrealized that in his opinion I probably was, too. So off I merrily skipped, on my road to H#ll! ;-)


Now, I find myself gravitating to someone who believes and practices, but who doesn't damn everyone who doesn't believe what they do.
- May 9th, 2009, 09:32 am
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