saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #1  May 8,2009, 7:20pm
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All right, I've had my share of drunk dates, I'll admit.


I'm no angel. Hell, My pop's German, and my mom's Irish -- I ~have~ to drink! Blue eyes, blonde hair, a slightly reddish beard, born and raised in East Texas... I'm doomed.


Anyway. My most recent date was down in Dallas proper, at this place with a bouncer outside the door, this big guy, standing next to a cute little 20-something, both of them on a red carpet, him holding a velvet rope, her a clipboard. Fancy.


"Name?"


We gave her our names.


"Come right in. That'll be $30."


"Total?" I said.


"Each," she answered.


"Damn! There better be some naked women in here!"


That last part wasn't me. That was Lone Wolf, my cousin. He's married.I almost got him divorced later. That, and arrested.


Moving along, there weren't any naked women in the place. Nothing but boom-boom music, that stuff that's just boomchishboomchishboomchish over and over and over over over over. Lone Wolf and I are both drummers. Not good ones, but that's our thing, and we like live bands with good music.


This wasn't live, and it wasn't good music. But they had a bottle of Gray Goose on the table -- we had a table, how's that for style! -- and a waitress who'd mix up drinks for us.


So we did what we did best. We drank. Our girls did some other sh.t, who knows what they were doing, but he and I wound up exploring the rooftop.


See, they let the smokers go up on the roof to get their fix. You can't smoke in a Dallas bar. Weird, huh. Neither of us smoke, but dang, being on the roof of a bar, that's f.cking cool!


So we went up there, exploring.


Those goofballs left the fire escape ladders down. So we're going up a ladder, up a floor onto the top-top of the rooftop. There's another ladder leading higher, and we're about to start acting all Peter Parker and being Spider-Man on the rooftops when I said, "Dude, I gotta whiz."


"Me too!" he said.


Yeah. So we're on the rooftop of one of Dallas's fanciest bars, marking our territory, me and Lone Wolf. All the smokers watched, and I don't think any of them really cared.


Anyway. My girl thought it was pretty funny. I think she did, anyway. She laughed.


His girl, though, she got a little miffed.


I felt so out-of-place, though. I'm old. I'm nearly 40. I was the oldest guy in the place by ten years at least, but I had a hot little cutie with me, and I p.issed off the rooftop, so I guess it wasn't a total loss, eh.


I'm gonna have to change my last name to Southerland or Sheen, I swear to god...


- Saul Southerland
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 8,2009, 7:27pm
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KRA_Z_1 is offline KRA_Z_1 Post #3  May 8,2009, 7:33pm
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Hmmm.....has the makings of a "Tales From The Bar" thread, could be intresting. However, can't disclose my stories on here due to content of such tales, LOL!
 
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cameracollector is offline cameracollector Post #4  May 8,2009, 8:11pm
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and she went home with you anyway, Saul??
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #5  May 8,2009, 9:01pm
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"Ahhhh... Did you just feel a raindrop?"


Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.......


This is a major difference between men and women. We know where the bathrooms are and somehow manage to get to them.
 
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mermaid2244 is offline mermaid2244 Post #6  May 8,2009, 9:13pm
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Biostatistics! Whose idea was this anyway?

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The only times I have (male anatomy) envy is when I'm drinking or camping.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #7  May 8,2009, 9:25pm
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Well, Saul - to give you a bit of perspective...


My father did this as an innocent prank when he was about eight or nine, and growing up in Switzerland. I think my grandmother just about castrated him, she was so angry.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #8  May 8,2009, 10:56pm

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neardc,610750 wrote :

"Ahhhh... Did you just feel a raindrop?"


Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.......


This is a major difference between men and women. We know where the bathrooms are and somehow manage to get to them.
boys are soooo weird.
 
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Jazmintte is offline Jazmintte Post #9  May 9,2009, 3:22am
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LOL


Saul, you always have the best of tales...times....yeah, that. All for only a $30 cover charge.


You had the keeper. She still went home with you. And your real last name.


Poor Lone Wolf. Not so lucky.


Whatcha doin next weekend?
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #10  May 9,2009, 10:54pm
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Did you wash your hands afterward like you are supposed to
 
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